SUMMARY: A visit from old friends brings up memories and hidden feelings.
POSTED: 8 Jun 2005
WARNINGS: None Listed
AUTHOR NOTES: Yes, this has the episode ‘Birthday’ in it, but I have done it my way.
STATUS: Complete

Chapter 1

Cordelia slowly made her way down the stairs of the Hyperion Hotel. This place had become more of a home to her than her own apartments was but she still kept it for too reasons: The main one of course was Dennis even though he is a ghost he had become family to her and taken care of her when she needed it. He was in a way a lot like Angel, very over protective. The thought made her smile that the two men that went over the top to take care of her were both dead, but the second reason was that she had somewhere else to go when she needed to get away for a couple of hours and if she was really, really lucky she might get 5 or 6 hours of much needed sleep.

A masculine voice echoed through the lobby of the hotel and Cordelia smiled and headed towards the reception desk where one rogue demon hunter was saying his final goodbyes on the phone. She waved her hand at him to get his attention but as he turned to her the look on his face made her hand drop to her side and the smile that once lit her face faded fast. Who was that? The seer thought.

She waited for him to finally put the phone down before the rapid-fire questions came at him. “What’s going on? What’s wrong? Who was on the phone? What disaster is coming our way this time? You know you think we could have a couple days off you know, a bit of a rest, it’s not easy getting the visions but NOOOOOO.” Cordelia carried on her rant and Wesley stopped and starred at her.

“Cordy, Cordy, CORDELIA.” He finally shouted getting her attention.

“Jeez Wes there was no need to shout I’m not deaf.” She said with a grin. “So what’s up?”

“Cordy let’s just wait until the others arrive so I don’t have to keep repeating myself.” He answered.
A frown marred her beautiful face as she paced back and forwards her heels clicking on the ground beneath her awaiting the arrival of the others. Patience had never been a virtue of hers. Hurry up her mind repeated over and over again.

“Hey” a deep voice said and watched with a grin as his best friend jumped and Wes turned quickly to the stairs. His smile soon began to fade as her saw the looks on their faces and with a sigh he walked towards them wondering what was wrong this time.

“Well 1 down and 2 to go” she muttered as she went to the kitchen to get Angel his blood. Wes won’t tell us until Fred and Gunn are here” She shouted from the Kitchen.

Angel turned and looked at Wesley and he nodded in affirmation.

“Here you go brood boy breakfast is served” said the feminine voice as the glass was shoved in front of his face.

The doors swung open as the two missing members of Angel Investigation walked in.

“You guys. We brought breakfast” Gunn called out loudly.

“Fred, Gunn can you come and join us. I have something to tell you. I received a phone call earlier this morning and well ummm.” He looked at Cordy and Angel knowing that it was going to hit them more than anyone else.

“Get on with it Wes” Cordy said impatiently.

“The phone call was from Giles,” The ex-watcher said never taking his eyes from the two other Sunnydale rejects.

“Oh god I am in hell and why do I have this bad feeling about whatever you are going to say I am going to hate” Cordy put her hand to he eyes. If this meant something about Buffy what was Angel going to do, she hated to see him hurting and every time crybuffy was mentioned he usually went into a funk.

Chapter 2

Ok just to clarify this story is based before Birthday. Have no idea where it is on Buffy so sorry if they do not match up. Hmmm that would make it an AU then. Angel knows he is in love with Cordelia but she has no idea.

Chapter Two

Angel looked at Cordelia he was surprised by her outburst quickly joined by the others.

Cordy realised that everyone was staring at her she rolled her eyes and then looked at Angel and Wesley. “Oh come on, when was the last time they phoned us for a book and the only good news was when they told us about Buffy coming back. My money, if I had any, would be on a new big nasty or something apocalypse-y. So Wes what did they want?”

Wesley shuffled slightly uncomfortably. “Well Cordelia is right it is about and apocalypse and the ummm ‘new nasty’ that is going to cause it.”

“So they need you do they English” Gunn asked.

“Actual it is happening here in LA and not in Sunnydale so Giles is coming here and Buffy and the others have offered to come help with the research and the fighting.”

Cordelia turned to Angel once again, concern was written all over her face, she knew how hard this must be for him knowing that he was going to see her again after all that had happened between them her heart ached for him she wanted to reach out and take him in her arms and tell him everything was fine, she would take away the pain, that she loved… Her eyes opened wide as she realised where her thoughts were going.

“I’m uhhh gonna check on Conner” she stuttered and rushed up the stairs to join Lorne.

Angel watched Cordy leave he had to tell her how he felt, how a part of him would always love Buffy but he was not in love with her anymore. He was in love with his brutally honest, beautiful and stubborn seer.

“So I get to meet the people you knew from Sunnydale.”Fred asked quietly.

“Yes” Wesley said without any enthusiasm. Sunnydale had an effect on them all and a lot of it was not good, there, of course, were moments. He smiled at thought of when he first saw Cordelia and how he felt about her, but now the better he knew her, the more amazing he knew she was the more brotherly he felt.

“What are you smiling at Wesley?” Fred asked.

“When I first met Cordelia. She was brutally honest,” he paused, “ok that has not changed. She never really let people get close to her, if she had a problem she would deal with it by herself if she could. Xander was the only person that got a little close to her but then he betrayed her and she spent time in hospital. Coming to LA was the best thing that happened to her.”
“Apart from the pain from the visions.” Angel still felt guilty everytime he held her, seeing the pain in her eyes and then having to leave her to suffer, the only thing he could do was find and kill whatever was in her vision as quickly as he could.

“Angel she would not change that, it is who she is.” Wesley wasn’t sure how to phrase the next part. “How do you think she is going to handle the others coming from Sunnydale? The only one she has spoken to now and again is Willow.”

“Why would Cordy be nervous?” Gunn asked.

“The last time that she saw them she was the bitch of Sunnydale high who didn’t care about anything or anyone. I wonder if they are going to see the new her, or even believe it.”

They all turned and looked up the stairs to where the heart of Angel Investigations had just walked.

Upstairs in Lorne’s room Cordelia looked down at Conner her heart felt so full everytime she looked at him, a smile lit up her face as she hummed down at him.

Lorne quietly walked into the room and watched her. “You should tell him princess.”

Cordy jumped at the voice suddenly behind her. “Lorne don’t do that you’ll give me a heartattack.”

“You know when I am babysitting I am never far from the little one and don’t change the subject.”

“I can’t tell him and the love of his life will soon be here and he will go back to broodyboy and be in a funk when she leaves.”

“And you will bring him back”

“Lorne I don’t like seeing him hurt like this. What if Buffy has another boyfriend and decides that he needs to know, he deserves so much more, he deserves…”

“You.” Lorne whispered.

Cordelia turned and looked at him with tears in her eyes, he held out his arms and she rushed into them as the green demon held her tightly as her tears fell.

In the lobby no one was sure what to do. They knew that the past was going to be here soon and unless Cordy had a vision they were stuck doing nothing.

“Will they want to stay here because if they do we should get some rooms sorted out?”

“Good idea Fred let’s do that.” Wesley told them and with that they all started to move.

Sorry this and the others have been a bit short but I have had and have some more exams to go to and I write a bit and then post it. It happens to be good luck thing now LOL. You are stuck with it at the moment.

Chapter 3

Cordelia left Lorne’s room with Conner in her arms and went down Angel’s, she knocked on the door hoping no one was there, her prays, for this were at least answered. She wanted to hold the little baby just for a little longer before she had to put him down. Cordy felt so exhausted, she would only rest for a moment she laid on Angel’s bed with Conner in her arms. Closing her eyes she thought she should do. Cordy was tempted to go back to her apartment and hide until the disaster was over but she knew that she wouldn’t do that, that was one thing about Cordy she might have been a bitch but she was not a coward.

How was she going to treat Angel the same now that her feelings had changed, she couldn’t tell him how she felt because 1) he probably did not feel the same 2) she did not want to ruin the best friendship she had ever had and which was the clincher 3) Buffy the love of his undead life. What would he want with a bluntly honest, the nastiest girl in Sunnydale history, ex-may queen who had visions. Shaking her head Cordy was not going to think like that she didn’t think like that it was not like her to give up without a fight but she was just so tired, a little sleep was all she needed.

But before she could sleep the Scoobies came to mind would she automatically revert to her sarcastic bitch persona, if she didn’t would they see the change in her? Would they care? With those thoughts she snuggled Conner closer to her and at that moment all she wanted was for Angel to walk in and lay down and hold her tightly in his strong arms telling her that everything was going to be ok that he loved her and with those happy thoughts she drifted of into sleep a world where her friends were happy there was no danger.

Downstairs in the lobby Fred was on the internet researching a monster that was in the pending file, Gunn was sitting down playing on his gameboy, Wesley had books spread of his desk and Angel sat looking up the stairs wondering what Cordelia was doing and if he should go and check on her.

“You’re right Willow this place is huge.” A male voice muttered. “Hey deadboy.”

“Xander” Angel turned to the others in turn. “Willow good to see you again, Buffy, Dawn, Anya, Giles and you must be Tara.”

“What about me poof.” An english voice said.

“Spike what are you doing here?”

“I’m a good guy now.” He said with a smirk.

Buffy and Angel stared at each other. The politeness was strained and no one really knew what to say, it had been a long time since some of them had worked together and it was not always happy memories.

Angel looked away from Buffy quickly glanced up the stairs and then to Wesley. The ex-watcher nodded they were all concerned about Cordelia.

“I have a couple of things to do.” With that he walked past them and up the stairs, he could hear the beat of Cordy’s heart and he followed that sound if his own one still beated it would be pounding at the moment.

“Angel?” Buffy questioned but he didn’t reply.

As he reached the top of the stairs he could hear Wes’s voice. “Now let’s get the introductions out of the way.”

Angel knew Cordy was close to Conner, their heartbeats were so close, and he headed towards his bedroom. Opening the door he peaked in and laying there was his dream Cordy on his bed with his child in her arms, but without Conner this was his fantasy but she would have been awake and not asleep. Realising where his thoughts were going he took a gulping breath, it was an automatic reaction even though he didn’t need to. Shutting down the door behind him he walked over and took Conner out of her arms who was looking at him and waving his little arms around, placing his future into the crib the baby gurgled. The vampire went back to the bed and lay down next to his seers. Somehow Cordelia knew he was there as her body moved towards his. Angel knew that he shouldn’t but he pulled her into his arms and held her gently but securely, if it were up to him no one would ever hurt her again.

Chapter 4

Angel laid with his arms curled around the woman he loved, he could feel her against his chest, her scent surrounded him, he could feel every breath she took, her heartbeat echoed in his ears and his eyes slowly dropped until he fell into dreamland where he could be with the sleeping beauty next to him forever.

Downstairs unaware of the two best friends in each other arms Buffy paced the lobby and kept glancing up the stairs where Angel had disappeared up.

“Where is he?” She muttered as she continued walking to and from.

Wesley, Gunn and Fred snuck looks at each other.

“I’ll go and check.” Wes told them not wanting Buffy to go looking especially with Conner and how close Cordy and Angel where he was not sure she would understand, she would find out soon enough.

Once up stairs he stood outside Angel’s room and listened through the door to see if he could hear anything, when all he heard was silence he gently tapped on the door. “Angel,” he called out. No answer came from inside.

Something pulled Cordelia from her sleep, she started to wake up she was so comfortable and felt so safe she didn’t want to move so she snuggled deeper into her pillow, something tightened it’s hold on her. Cordy froze, not sure what she should do, her head was not on the comfortable pillow it was in fact a chest, a mans hard chest, cautiously she opened her eyes and looked up and there she saw Angel asleep holding her like she was his life line Cordy smiled and laid her head back down to his chest for the first time she felt as if she was in heaven.

Outside not knowing what was going on Wesley knocked on the door harder this time.

“Angel” he called out louder this time.

Angel opened his eyes as he heard his name being called out but a huge grin appeared on his face when he saw Cordy still in his arms.

“What is it Wes?” Angel answered.

Cordy looked up again and looked deep into his eyes and her 100 watt smile grew on her face.

“Buffy and the others are waiting downstairs.” Came the muffled reply from the otherside of the door.

The smile left Cordy’s face at the mention of the slayers name and quickly pulled herself out of Angel’s arm trying to hide her head in embarrassment.

“Oh I uh ummm sorry I didn’t” she stuttered as she rushed to the door and opened it.

“Cordy wait” Angel called out as she rushed out the door and ran past Wesley.

“Did I …..: Wesley was not sure what to say.

“Nothing happened.” Angel replied sadly still staring at the spot where Cordy had vanished.

Sighing looked at Wes and nodded to Conner and went to join the others downstairs. A thoughtful Wes watched him as he left and a smile appearing on his face he hoped that his thoughts were correct, the smile vanished knowing that it could be very dangerous to they did not want Angelus even though Cordy and Angel deserved to be happy.

“I wonder.” He mumbled to himself.

Lorne walked towards Wesley. “Time for me and Conner to spend some more quality time together. Angel wants to break the news of the little one gently,” he stopped when he realised Wesley was not listening to him he tapped him on the shoulder. “Not boring you am I? What are you thinking about?”

“Cordy and Angel?” he answered.

Lorne grinned. “They are perfect for each other if only they would confess their feelings.”

“I think I might have interrupted something earlier, I mentioned Buffy was waiting for Angel.”

Lorne winced. “Well that is definitely going to make the princess hide away, she still believes Angel loves and will always love Buffy that no one else will be in his heart.”

Cordy walked down the stairs what the hell was she thinking Angel loved Buffy they had years of their tragic romance, anything would pale next to that, even if anyone else managed to get him to love them. Walking through the lobby she smiled. “Hi” she said to the whole room and headed towards the kitchen she stopped and looked around. “Would anyone like a drink?” Everyone shook their heads. Cordy made Angel his blood she popped in the microwave and waited.

Angel joined the others and looked towards the kitchen where he could hear her heartbeat, Buffy smiled and moved closer to him but his eyes never moved. Cordy walked out and headed to him with a smile, no matter what her feelings where she was still his best friend. “Here you go broodboy.” She said as she handed him his mug. Walking over she hopped onto the reception desk and looked around Angel followed her and stood at her side.

“So what’s the plan boss?” She asked Wes once he had joined them.

The Sunnydale gang turned and looked at her she stared back. “What Wes is the boss.”

Buffy was confused about Angel she thought that he was the one that would not change, the one she could always rely on he never changed but now that she was here things were different. He was drinking blood in front of people, but the LA lot did not seem to mind but the main thing was that he seemed to comfortanble here it was the way he stood, the way he didn’t try to hide. He was not the same man she knew and that worried her.

Cordy watched the room, Angel watched her she could feel his eyes on her, Buffy watched Angel but what surprised Cordy was the way Spike was watching the slayer. Things were getting interesting.

Suddenly she screamed and fell forward before she could hit the ground strong arms took hold of her and held her tightly but gently as she screamed and cried as the vision tore through her mind.

Xander moved forward but Anya took hold of his arm. Wesley ran to Cordy’s side while Fred ran to get water from the kitchen and Gunn ran to the bathroom to get her painkillers.

Angel rocked her gently as the pain racked through her body his heart broke with every scream, with every tear just because it did not beat it could still hurt and call out to do something to stop the pain she was in but he couldn’t.

The visitors all wanted answers but they knew that they had to wait Buffy watched them as the moved in sync, they moved like a team who knew each other so well that they could read each others minds.


Chapter 5
Finding out the Truth

Angel held her as her sobs started to slow down, she buried her head into his chest wishing the pain would leave knowing it was getting worse and worse and she knew what that meant. She was dying Cordy had been told that but it was getting harder and harder to make believe it was not true. What was she going to tell Angel? He would blame himself and then try and a way to stop the visions, her visions. She couldn’t allow that too happen. She looked up and saw the worried look in her vampire’s eyes, Cordy sniffed a few times and Angel reached down and wiped away the tears.

Buffy stood staring at them. “What the hell is going on?” she shouted.

Cordy jumped and tried to pull away from Angel but he wouldn’t let her and helped her slowly to her feet and with his arm wrapped around her waist he led her to one of his sofas. Fred, Gunn and Wesley followed them.

“Well!” Buffy asked impatiently.

Wes had his notebook open ready to take notes, Gunn and Fred handed Cordy the water and the painkillers she smiled back at them.

“Thanks.” She said quietly knowing that they were not going to take away the pain. It would go once Angel killed what had to be killed and saved the person that needed to be saved. “It’s on fifth and something near that old church it is big and green and has claws the girl is so scared Angel, hurry.”

Gunn and Wesley rushed to their feet and ran to the weapons cabinet.

“We will” Angel said kissing her on the forehead. “Take care of her Fred”

“I will Angel,” a quiet voice said.

With that he rushed out of the door without glancing at anyone else. Buffy stood their opened mouth. What the hell had just happened?

Spike stood watching as well he was frozen to the spot, Angel had not seemed that interested in Buffy he was more worried about the cheerleader. What was going on around here?

“Umm. What was that?”Xamder asked.

Cordy and Fred looked at him with confusion on their faces.

“What happened to you Cordy?” He rectified.

Willow hissed at him. “Not now” she said through gritted teeth.

“It’s ok Willow” Cordy answered. “It was a vision.”

“A vision.” Buffy asked skeptically she knew that she sounded bitchy but she couldn’t seem to help it. Things weren’t suppose to change Angel was supposed to look at her and she was the centre of his world. “What you get pretty pictures in your head telling Angel where people are.”

Fred stood up and glared at her. “No she sees people being attacked and she feels everything the victim does.”

Buffy opened her mouth then closed it again she was not sure what to say. “I’m sorry I don’t know why I said that.”

“It’s okay Buffy you’ve been through a lot.” Cordy replied softly.

Everyone stared at her.

“What?” she asked as she noticed everyone’s eyes.

“You umm seem different.” Willow said.

“You all changed did you think I wouldn’t”

“I never thought about it you were always Cordelia.” Willow replied not sure if that made any sense.

“I still am but I am also Cordy.”

“The heart of Angel Investigations.” Fred added knowing that is how they all felt about her.

“Thank you Fred sweetie.”

“I’m gonna borrow Angel’s bed until they get back ok?” Fred nodded and watched Cordy slowly make her way upstairs.

“Ok Fred can you explain about these visions.” Xander asked starting to get impatient.

“Well I can tell you what I was told you see I wasn’t around at the start no on here was I was in a hell dimension and they all rescued me I was a cow and they tried to take my head.” Fred stopped as soon as she saw the blank look on their faces. “Sorry Cordy got them from Doyle just before he died, he kissed her and from what she said she had no idea what he had done. She then got her first vision and it was the time Wesley arrived. So after that they started working as a team and Cordy tried to get rid of them, she didn’t want the pain it was kind of ruining her life.”

“That sounds like the Cordelia we know and hated.” Xander said with a laugh

Fred glared at him again; Willow dug an elbow into his ribs.

“Please carry on Fred?” Willow asked politely.

“Well from what Wesley told me, Angel doesn’t like to talk about it. Wolfram and Hart had this demon they wanted something brought back and they needed the scrolls that Wesley had so umm” Fred paused for a moment as she remembered Angels face when she was told this story. “It touched Cordy’s hand and she was taken into the neuro ward and sedated all she kept doing was screaming afterwards they found out she was having visions 24-7 she was feeling the pain of all the victims all over the world, it changed her. She knew what had to be done.” Tears started to roll down her cheeks. “I’m sorry but Cordy has been through so much.”

Fred headed towards the office and started to sort through paperwork and every so often her eyes would glance to the stairs.

“So you think she has really changed?” Buffy asked.

“Well it seems like it.” Willow replied.

“I guess we wait and see.” Xander put his thoughts in.

Cordy laying on Angel’s bed trying to keep the pain at bay glanced over at the clock; it had been an hour since the others had gone. She hadn’t meant to stay up her too long it wasn’t fair to leave Fred down with strangers by herself. Cordy sat up and the pain began to fade. They had done it and they would be home soon.

Rushing down the stairs she ran straight to Fred in the office.

“I’m sorry for leaving you alone with them.”

“That’s ok” Fred mumbled into Cordy’s shoulder as she was pulled into a hug.

Walking out into the lobby Cordy announced. “They should be back soon”

“How do you know?” Giles asked.

“The pain it is easing off only happens when the guys have slain the evil ones”

“Really” Giles replied absently staring at her with renewed interest.

“Fred can you grab the first aid kit please?”

“Sure Cordy will Angel need patched up again?”

“Probably he normally does.”

The two female members of AI sat and waited for the heroes return and see which ones need to be patched up.


Chapter 6

The door of the hotel opened and in hobbled Angel, Wesley and Gunn. Buffy’s eyes fell on Angel and she could see that he was hurt and without thinking she rushed to his side. Spike’s eyes narrowed as he watched the exchange, Cordy’s heart fell as she saw the way the slayer was looking at her ex-boyfriend.

“Oh my god Angel you’re hurt.” She whispered.

“I’m fine Buffy.” He answered as his eyes sought out his seer. Cordy could see that he was in a lot of pain and the best friend came out, she smiled and walked over to him.

“You’re not ok let me take a look at it.” Angel wrapped his arm around her shoulders, as her arm slid around his waist to give a little more support. She looked over at Wesley and Gunn and saw Fred hovering over them but she also was glancing at Angel. “How are you guys doing? Any patching up needed?” The two guys shook their heads,

Buffy watched from the door, suddenly forgotten, as he walked away from her without a second thought. Over at the sofa Angel sat down slowly and stiffly. Cordy took off his leather coat and soon his ruined shirt followed. She pushed his knees apart and knelt between them as she looked at the claw scratches that went from his chest to his stomach. Slowly she cleaned the wound, her touch feather soft so it could be barely felt. Angel looked down at the dark head of hair and smiled he loved it when she took care of him, it was the one thing that made getting hurt ok. Cordy patched him up and pulled out a bandage from the first aid kit and started to wrap it around him, when it went around his back she was pulled closed to his chest, she could smell him, her heartbeat started to speed up, her breath became shallow. Angel’s eyes narrowed in thought he heard the change of her breathing and heart, and a new smell enveloped him, it was arousal. A purely masculine smile lit up his face, maybe there could be something between them after all if only they could talk about it. Cordy looked up and smiled at him she reached over and helped him put his ruined shirt back on and buttoned it up. “There good as new. Do you need any blood to help heal that up?”

“Thanks and no I don’t it wasn’t all that deep.” All he wanted to do was be here with his family Cordelia, Connor, Fred, Gunn, Wesley and Lorne where he could be relaxed and be himself. With Buffy here he felt himself reverting back to how he was the hiding in the shadows and doing what ever she wanted and when he felt that happening he looked around him this was his home, these were his friends, this was his life, it was amazing how much he had changed more in these last years in LA then he had ever done in his 250 years before. A lot had to do with the people he had met and how they had treated him, he was more than just a vampire and he kept trying and trying to prove to them that they’re trust in him had not been misplaced.

A cough was heard from the stairs. “Angelcakes I hope everything went ok but.” Lorne stopped as he saw the new comers were staring him at. “Hi,”

Angel looked at Cordelia and they both knew that Lorne was talking about Connor. “Lorne why don’t you introduce yourself and maybe do some readings.” Cordy asked as she nodded to the others and her and Angel went off up the stairs.
“Of course princess I’d be happy to see what their aura’s tell me if they want me to?” Lorne said with a smile.

“What the hell is going on with them?” Buffy demanded.

Wesley hobbled over carefully. “They have things they need to do.” He tried to explain.

“What kind of things?” Buffy carried on getting annoyed.

Wesley was getting angry Buffy came here and thought that everything would be dropped because she was the centre of attention at Sunnydale.

“Things that’ve got nothing to do with you.” Gunn answered he had no idea who she was and didn’t have any history with her at all. He knew that she had died and was no back but that was no reason to talk down to anyone.

Buffy turned to him and she knew that she wasn’t going to get any answers, so she turned and tried to follow where Angel and Cordelia had gone. Wesley and Gunn stood in her way. “They are private quarters Angel will be back down when he is finished and then you can ask him whatever you want but please have a seat I am sure he won’t be to long.” Well they hoped he wouldn’t be they weren’t sure how long they could keep the slayer down here.

Upstairs Angel and Cordy had straight for Angel’s room they knew that is where Lorne would have put him. “Hey big guy.” Cordy said smiling as she watched Angel pick up his son. “You’re going to have to tell her we can’t keep him up her forever.” She commented.

Angel nodded. “I suppose so.” That was a conversation he was not looking forward to, glancing around he noticed that there was no baby formula, and everyone would notice them leaving the kitchen with a bottle he sighed deeply. “Well no time like the present I suppose.”

Cordy reached out and touched his arm she knew how hard this was for him especially explaining about Darla. She held out her arms. “You explain and I will feed.”

“You’re not going to leave me alone with them are you?” Angel asked worriedly.

“Buffy is going to want to talk to you alone Angel you have hardly said two words to her and she’s noticed there is something different in your relationship.” Cordy choked the words out.

Angel looked at her. “Buffy and I don’t have a relationship not anymore.” He knew at some point that he was going to have to sit Cordy down and make her understand that he would always love Buffy she was a big part of his life, a big part of his past but that was it. Cordy was stubborn and he knew that he was going to have to tell her over and over again that he loved her, he smiled at the thought that was something he was going to enjoy doing as long as she loved him back the same way, she had to, he couldn’t even think of the alternative.

Angel and Cordy walked down the stairs both making faces at the baby. Suddenly in the lobby the silence was deafening you could hear a pin drop and suddenly Xander’s voice echoed out.

“That’s a baby.” He turned to his friends. “Did anyone know that Cordy was a mother?”

“I’m not his mother.” Cordy answered and her heart broke.

“Yes you are.” Angel told her, she was his mother and he couldn’t think of anyone better. Cordy smiled a 1000-watt smile at him.

“Ok I’m not his biological mother.” Cordy confirmed.

“So who is the mother and the father.” Willow asked.

“Well I am his father.” Angel answered.

Spike turned to him his face echoed the shock that the others showed.

“Well this little guy is hungry.” Cordy said as she escaped into the kitchen. Angel watched and wished he could follow.

“You have a child Angel and you never told me? Who the hell is the mother?” Buffy screamed at him.

“I didn’t know how to tell you and how often do you phone and tell me what has happened in your life unless you wanted to rub my nose in it.” The vampire was angry this was his life.

Buffy looked down at the ground and tears spilled from her eyes. “I’m sorry Angel this was a bit of a shock.” She couldn’t believe that his life had changed so much and he looked so happy. “So who is the mother, biologically I mean?” She finished she didn’t want to upset him again.

“Darla.” Angel whispered as he waited for the reaction.

Chapter 7

Darla, Connor and More Surprises

Buffy’s mouth fell open; Spike’s eyes froze on Angel.

“Damn you” the blonde haired vampire muttered.

Cordy stood in the kitchen door and watched she saw Spike’s face.

“Spike.” She called out. He turned to look at her. “Come and help me in the kitchen.” The vampire opened his mouth to say something. “Now” she added. With another quick glance at Angel and Buffy Spike shrugged his shoulders and then they dropped, he scuffed his way to the kitchen to join the cheerleader.

The rest of the Scooby gang just stared at Angel. Xander turned and looked at his friends. “I did just miss hear that didn’t I. Or I had a nightmare right.” He looked hopefully at the others and when they didn’t reply he sighed. “Angel has a child by Darla and Cordy is helping to raise him. Just clarifying it for myself.” He shook his is head again to see if it would wake him up from this hallucination, because it had to be he still could not get his mind around this. “Do you know something?” Everyone turned to him except for Buffy her eyes will still fixed on Angel. “I’m ok with the baby and Darla as strange as that sounds, but the main problem I am understanding is Cordelia, the bitch of Sunnydale High, why on earth would you want her to be a mother figure?”

Angel glared at him soon joined by Wesley, Gunn, Fred and Lorne. “Cordy is a great mother.” Fred said defensively. Gunn turned and looked at Wesley. “Yo English. You’re the leader. Do you mind if I smash some manners into this boys head?”

Xander’s face paled and he took a step back, eyes wild looking at everyone in the room.

“If he makes another crack like that about Cordy I’ll help you Gunn.” Wesley said with a grin.

“I didn’t mean that ummm” he stuttered.

Angel walked towards him. “Cordy is an amazing woman. She takes care of all of us and is very protective just like we are with her. She is our family”

Gunn nodded in agreement. “Just stop shouting your mouth off and things will be just fine.”

Xander nodded.

“You have a child by Darla?” Buffy questioned everyone turned to face her. “How, why” she shook her head trying to clear it. “How did it happen?” Angel raised an eyebrow at her and his look was eloquent. “I know how, I mean Darla is dead.”

Angel smiled. “You all better sit down.” He turned to look at the kitchen; he didn’t want to leave Cordy alone with Spike for too long. Just as if she could read his mind and he sometimes thought she could the two of them walked out with the baby. “We need some more formula Spike and I are going down to the local market.”

Buffy and Angel both stared at them. Cordy smiled and slipped her empty arm through Spikes and pulled him away and out of the hotel. Angel wanted to go after them but he knew Cordy would kill him. Buffy turned her attention straight back to Angel she sat down. “Ok now explain.” The slayer ordered.

Spike and Cordy walked down the street. “So what is it about Buffy that makes vampires fall in love with her?” Cordy asked.

Spike stopped which meant she had to as well. He turned at stared at her. “I’m not, I mean I…” He stuttered not knowing what to say.

“It’s ok Spike. I could see it on your face. Does she know?”

He nodded and softly said. “She said that she could never love a monster and that was all I am.”

Cordy’s jaw dropped. “She said what?” Amazement covered her face. “I never thought she could be so cruel.”

“It’s because I am not Angel. There is no one for her apart from him, well that is what she thinks anyway.”

Cordy nodded in agreement. “Oh yes the Buffy and Angel tragic romance story. We all have lived and still are living through it.”

“So what about you?” Spike asked.

Cordy looked at him confused. “What about me what?”

“You and Angel?” He said with a grin on his face.

“There is no me and Angel. We are best friends.”

“Same boat huh.” Spike said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Yep you and me. Quite a team huh. A seer and a vampire, both who love people who will never return it in a way they want. If you ever need to talk come to LA or pick up a phone an call me.” Cordy offered.

Spike smiled at her and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. “Same goes for me. But I know how you hate Sunnydale so you call and I’ll come here.”

Cordy stuck out her hand. “Friends?”

“Friends, so tell me about this little chap and Darla.”

Cordy shook her head. “Angel and his speech about. I was going through a dark time.” She mimicked.

Spike laughed.

Meanwhile back at the hotel Angel had just finished telling them about what had happened.

“Darla killed herself so the baby could live?” Willow whispered.

“You would have killed Darla and the baby because she bit Cordelia.” Buffy said. Why would Angel have done that?

He shook his head tired of Buffy and Xander putting down Cordy. He looked at the clock and they had not returned yet, he was getting worried. He looked over at Gunn, Fred and Wesley. They all nodded, understanding what he was thinking. Angel walked over the phone and rang her mobile.

Giles watched them amazement evident in his face. “How do you all do that?”

“Do what?” Wesley asked.

“You just look at each other and then you all seem to communicate.” He asked.

“It’s been a while.” Wesley started.

“And we are all worried.” Fred added.

“And we want to know where she is.” Gunn joined in.

“And if she is safe.” Lorne said with a grin.

“So I am calling her mobile” Angel muttered as he dialled.

“Cordy where but..I was just…no I trust you..well no I didn’t mean it..” He pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it.

“She’s fine.” Gunn said with a grin and knew that Angel had just gotten an earful.

“Her, Spike and Connor are getting ice cream.”

“Ice cream?” Buffy said. Spike should be here with her, he said he loved her so he should be here comforting her. The slayer had just found out that the love of her life had a baby with someone who was staked years ago and is being raised by her rival from Sunnydale.
Angel stared at the door wondering if he should go out and find her.

“Don’t Angel she would not be happy if you phoned her she would make you pay for it.” Wesley explained.

Buffy watched Angel and saw him smile as he thought of Cordelia, the jealousy grew in her once again and a determination came over her, Angel would be hers again. They were meant for each other and he had just forgotten it but she was going to remind him. She walked over to him and touched his shoulder and smiled sweetly up at him.

“Maybe we could go somewhere, like old times.” She whispered to him.

Just at that moment Spike and Cordy walked in laughing, but the smiles vanished as they saw Buffy and Angel looking at each other.

Cordy’s changed once again so there was no emotion on it. “Yes Angel you should just like old times. I’m just going to go upstairs and play with Connor.”

Spike turned and watched Cordy his admiration for her growing. “I think I’ll join you and get to know the little fella.” With that he placed his hand on the small of her back and they went upstairs, hiding their faces and their true feelings.

“See Cordelia thinks it is a good idea.” Buffy said seductively.

“Buffy I can’t, I won’t drop everything just like that I have a life here, I have a family and I work for Wes now. I have responsibilities.”

Buffy grew angry. “What about your responsibilities to me?”

Angel stared at her eyes wide. “Buffy we have both moved on with our lives, we are not the same people that we were and I don’t want to go back. Look around you I am happy here. I have this family people I can rely and trust on, I have people I love, I have a son and you want me to what exactly?”

“I want you to come home to Sunnydale, to be with me like it used to be?” She said with tears in her eyes.

Amazement was written all over Angel’s face. “After all I have just said you honestly want me to leave everything.”

“Yes I can’t move her because I am the slayer and I have to fight the fight in Sunnydale but you could join me?” Her voice was hopeful.

“Buffy I have a mission here, Cordy is my seer. Fred, Gunn, Wesley, Lorne and Cordy are fighting for souls, for my redemption so one day I will become human. I let them down once before and hurt them especially Cordy and I won’t do it again ever.” Angel tried to let her know how much these people meant to him.

“But you love me?” Buffy whined.

“I will always love you. Buffy you were my first love and made me realise that people could care about me and I could care about them. But I’m not in love with you, not anymore and I haven’t been for a long time now.” Angel’s voice was soft.

“I love you Angel I always have.” She grabbed hold of him and tried to kiss him.

Angel took hold of her shoulders and pushed away gently. “No Buffy you in love with the idea of being in love.” He looked into her eyes. “What’s really wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just want things to be back to the way they were. I want you back.”

“Buffy you can’t go back you can only go forward.” Angel told her softly he could see that their was something wrong with her and he didn’t know what it was but she did not seem the same young woman he knew, in a way she was acting more child like, the more problems she had the more immature she acted. He glanced up the stairs and that was another different between the two of them Cordy took any situation head on and dealt with it the only way she knew how. She would fight for the people she cared for. The more problems she had the more amazing woman she became until it had became the woman he fell in love with, she still had so elements of that brash teenager he had met she still had no tact and most of the times when she thought something she said it, and now he realised a lot of her bitchiness was too hide her true feelings, she never had any real friends in Sunnydale people just wanted to be seen with her, in LA wanting to be an actress people would have tried to use her. He was glad that he had bumped into her Angel could no longer imagine his life without his Cordy.

Buffy looked up at him and she saw he was looking up the stairs. “What the hell is going on with you and Cordelia you are either watching her, talking about her and I’m guessing thinking about her? She is nothing, less than that. She’s a failed actress and has no one can rely on her.” She spat out anger getting the better of her Cordy had everything that she should have this was supposed to be Buffy’s life and the bitch stole it. “She stole my life, she stole you. I should be here not her.”

Angel visibly pulled away, his eyes were like shutters they turned off and became cold and distant anger vibrated through him. He headed towards the basement, he was not going to hit her but he had to hit something.
Lorne turned the others and indicated upstairs Wesley nodded at him, the only person who could calm him down, was funny enough the only person that could truly wind him up as well.

The demon rushed up the stairs, he knocked gently on the door and walked in Cordy was crying and Spike had his arms wrapped around her. “Sorry princess but things got from bad to worse down there and I have never seen Angelcakes so angry.”

Cordy pulled away from Spike, she smiled at him wiped her eyes and turned to look at her friend. “What happened?” She asked worry was evident in her voice.

“Well it seems little Miss Slayer wants to rewind history when tall, dead and studly said that time couldn’t not be rewound and that he wasn’t actually in love with her. She laid into you saying that you stole her life and all this should be hers. I thought Angel was going to hit her but he headed down to the basement.”

From downstairs a shout was heard and banging of feet on the stairs Angel’s door was ripped from its hinges and standing there was one very angry slayer. Her eyes blazing she stalked towards Cordy. Spike took one sidestep and stood face to face with Buffy.

“I won’t let you hurt her Buffy, she doesn’t have super strength like you and you aren’t thinking clearly.” Spike told her, he could feel Cordy’s eyes glaring at his back but he would deal with later as long as she was unhurt.

“You’re protecting her why? You said you loved me?” Buffy looked at him accusingly. There was a gasp from the door Spike looked over Buffy and saw that everyone apart from Angel was there.

“You called me a monster and that you could never have feelings for me. Maybe I am but Cordy treated me like a person, a man but she never forget that I was still a vampire and she was ok with that. When we were out she asked if I needed any blood and did I take anything in it.”

“Buffy I haven’t done anything to you.” Cordy said as she stepped around Spike and patted him on the shoulder.

“Angel you stole him from me, it’s your fault.” Buffy said tears filling her eyes.

“He loves you, he’ll always love you.” Cordy said her heart breaking as the words came out of her mouth.

“No he says he’s not in love with me anymore and it’s all because of you.”

“Why is it my fault?” Cordy was starting to get angry; she had enough of all of this.

“Because he loves you.” Buffy screamed at her.

“You’re wrong.” Cordy whispered it would have been a dream come true if it were.

“She’s right,” said a male voice from behind the others, they all moved and they’re stood Angel. “I do love you. How could I not? Look at the amazing woman you’ve become. You know more about me than anyone else, you make me laugh, you get me angry quicker than anyone, I do anything for you, and you heat my blood up. You’re my best friend and before I knew it I was head over heels in love with you and seeing you holding Connor I want to walk over and hold you both in my arms. You keep this place going. You sort out the arguments. You are my heart and soul and I could never think of a way to tell you and if I had thought of anything it would not have been this.” He turned to Buffy. “There is something wrong with you and if you don’t talk about it whatever it is will eat you up inside and never take it out on any of my family.”

Cordy ‘s world stopped and she could not tear her eyes away from her vampire, a smile appeared on her face yes Angel was her vampire.

“I love you too Angel.” She whispered.

Angel’s head whipped round a smile on his face.

“But we have all the time in the world to discuss it. Buffy we are going out.”

Buffy stared at her. “I’m not.” But before she could finish her sentence Cordy grabbed her by the hand and pulled her out of the room and then out of the hotel.

Angel still had a stupid smile on his face but it vanished as soon as he realised Cordy would be alone with a jealous and angry slayer he made a move to the door but Wesley stopped him.

“Don’t Angel Cordy has to do this.” Wesley said Angel knew that he was right but it did not make him worry any less.

“If Buffy hurts her.” Angel growled.

The LA crew nodded in agreement and to the surprise of the Scooby gang so did Spike. He had become protective of Cordy she was truly one of the good guys and there were not many people like her in the world.

Chapter 8

Cordy gripped Buffy’s hand tightly her knuckles were white with the pressure and she pulled the her outside and they both knew that if Buffy did not want to go there was nothing that the seer could have done to stop her with one yank of her arm Buffy could have thrown Cordy across the room or knocked her into a wall. She pulled her out into the garden and didn’t stop once she kept on going once they reached the wall on the outside and were far away from the door as possible Cordy turned crossed her arms over and chest and raised an eyebrow at the slayer.

“What?” Buffy asked sullenly with a glare at the brunette.

“What the hell is going on with you?” She asked.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Cordy shock her head and sighed. “Don’t give me that bull you’ve been acting like a spoilt brat and I want to know why?”

“Why? You want to know why?” Buffy screamed at her. “This should have been my life. You stole my life.” Sobbing as she shouted at Cordy.

“Buffy get over yourself already. This is not Sunnydale where we all worship at the alter of the slayer. The whole world does not revolve around you” Cordy was getting a little tired of the look at me I am the slayer please pity me routine.

“YOU STOLE IT.” She screamed.

“What this life or Angel?” Cordy whispered but the quietness just for a moment was deafening and it took a little while for Buffy to actually speak.

“Both he should have been mine he was going to love me forever and then you came here and ruined it all. You changed him you took him from me? Why did you take him?” The slayer mumbled trying to keep the whine out of her voice but failing.

Cordy reached over and touched Buffy on the arm her heart went out to her the slayer had been through a lot but so had everyone in Sunnydale and in LA they had to get on with it but they had spent so much time trying to help and protect her that Buffy had gotten used to and no one realised what they were doing and it must have been hard for her when she died but she was back alive the petite blonde pulled away sharply and lost her balance falling heavily to the ground sniffling and not bothering to actually try and get up. Cordy knelt in front of her there was something off, something not right and no one knew or no one was talking about it. “What’s really wrong Buffy this isn’t about me, Angel or this life in LA but there is something bothering you and you can’t keep it bottled up. I am here if you need to talk.”

The Cordy stood turned away and started to walk back into the hotel to join the others when a quiet voice stopped her.

“They pulled me from heaven.” She whispered.

Cordy’s face paled as she turned to her once nemesis from school. “Oh Buffy.” She whispered and rushed to the crying girl and pulled the slayer into her arms Buffy wrapped her arms around Cordy and help tightly as the tears started to fall, all the feelings of anger, hate and loneliness finally getting a release.

“I know they thought they were helping me, they thought I was in hell but there are times when I think they were doing it for themselves that they couldn’t imagine their lives without me they didn’t even want to try. It was so peaceful no fighting, no being the slayer, nothing weird going on I was at one with myself and now its gone and I feel like there is something missing, I came back but part of me an important part was left there and I feel out of touch out of place I find that I can’t care about anything I am numb, empty that I am just a shell.” She looked up and her eyes puffy from the tears.

“Buffy I am sure they thought that you needed saving and yes they couldn’t imagine a life without their friend. When I heard I was upset we may have not got on but I never hated you, not really. The world needs you it needs all the heroes it can get. Maybe you were brought back for a reason I really don’t know” She paused for a moment trying to gather her thoughts. “I am sure it is natural to feel out of place and numb after everything you have gone through. It is your bodies way of coping with everything but it will all come back and your be back to the kick ass slayer that we all know and hate.” She said with a quick grin to let the other woman know she was only joking Cordy opened her mouth to say more when one sentence stopped her the world seemed to have shift and she was sure she misheard.

“I had sex with Spike.” Buffy whispered.

Cordy pulled back to look into the other girls eyes her face full of disbelief. “Did I hear you correctly I wasn’t hearing things was I” Hoping that she had been but her wishes were dashed once the blonde nodded. “So how’d that happen? I mean ok I know HOW uhh but why, when and what the hell were you thinking.” Not really wanting to know the answer but knowing that Buffy needed to talk to someone about it and it looked like that person was her.

Chapter 9

Buffy looked up at Cordelia and smiled the shock on the brunette’s face was entertaining, she never thought the day would come when she would get one over on Queen C. She wished it wasn’t like this and she hoped that Cordelia wouldn’t judge her, like she was afraid the others would. She shuddered at the thought of trying to explain Spike to Xander there was no way he was going to understand, Willow probably wouldn’t either but she wouldn’t judge her.

“Cordelia, it was uhh.” Buffy wasn’t sure how to start how to explain this to the ex-may queen she had enough trouble trying to explain it to herself.

“Wait right there don’t move.” With that Cordelia ran into the hotel grabbing her handbag and running back out again. She stopped, realizing that they would wonder what she was up to. “Buffy and I are going out. We’ll see you later, it the apocalypse happens call me.”

Buffy watched her not knowing what the other woman was thinking. “Cordelia?”

“We don’t want to talk around here with vampires and their hearing and we also might get interrupted by the Scoobies, it’s like grand central station here sometimes and you also look like you need to get away. I know the perfect place.” Cordelia grabbed hold of Buffy’s hand and pulled her into the dark street outside of the hotel. Cordy had first thought of taking her to some of the bars here and the AI gang went to but she knew that eventually they would get worried and look for her. She smiled they could be so protective sometimes.

The two of them walked the dark streets and Buffy would through quick side-glances to her companion. She didn’t know why she decided to talk to Cordelia and fear was beginning to settle inside of her but she also knew that if she didn’t speak to someone she was going to burst. Cordy walked in silence next to her, the seer’s mind running a thousand questions that she wanted to ask the slayer, but deep down she knew she wouldn’t Buffy just needed to talk to someone not be integrated. They stopped outside a small bar.

“Here we are.” Cordy told her.

Buffy nodded and followed the brunette inside.

“Hey Cordelia.” The barman said with a wave. “2 glasses ok.” Cordy nodded in agreement.

Buffy looked around as they made their way to a quiet corner watching as people continued to say hi and smile at the woman next to her. The sat down and the barman came over and put down the 2 glasses on the table. “Wave when you want a refill Cordelia.”

“Thanks Mac we will do.” Cordy replied with a bright smile.

Buffy watched her staring at the woman opposite, she saw so much of Queen C the confidence was still there but there was so much more know, maybe it was something she missed, maybe it was something that Cordelia hid. She could see the heart, the caring, and the love. She also could see the horror and the pain that she had lived through, that they all had lived through. They were never going to have normal lives and anyone outside would never understand.

Cordy sat there waiting for Buffy to start talking, to tell her what was going on in her mind but there was nothing, the slayer sat staring at her for a moment and now she was staring at her glass of wine. Cordy finally had

“So you had sex with Spike then? What was that like?” She said with a smile making sure that Buffy knew that she wasn’t being judged.

Buffy looked up sharply, panic written clearly across her face but a small smile appeared as she smiled at the ex-may queen. She didn’t know if Cordelia would understand that Spike made her feel, anything.

“Cordelia I….” She stuttered. Cordelia reached out a hand and touched the other woman on the arm.

“Buffy it’s Cordy and why don’t you start from the beginning you know the why, the what, the how, ok we know the how, but you get my drift.” Cordy said a twinkle in her hazel eyes.

“It started after I died, you know the second time, when they brought me back.” Cordy nodded remembering how Angel was not there because he was rescuing her and then how he went away for 3 months. “They thought I was in hell.”

“What?” Cordy said angrily, Buffy stared at her shocked. “You are kidding maybe that is what they told themselves but you save the world, you a hero why on earth would they think that you were in hell.”

Buffy stared at her she had never thought of it that way and she couldn’t ask Willow or Xander she was afraid what she would say to them. “What do you mean told themselves?”

Cordy played with the stem of her glass. “Buffy they,” she paused for a moment. “They didn’t know how to live without you, they couldn’t say goodbye, so they did what they could to bring you back and in their mind it rationalized as you were in a bad place and they had to save you. Have you talked to them about this?”

Buffy shook her head. “No I can’t I’m afraid of what I would say the only person who knows is Spike, he.” Cordy put her hand up to stop her from talking.

“We will get onto to Spike but first things first. The brought you back.” She waved her hand indicating for Buffy to continue.

Buffy smiled at the way Cordy had taken over and in a way it seemed comfortable, it reminded her of the way things used to be. “When I came back I felt nothing, I was just going through the motions. How could I tell my friends that they ripped me from heaven? How I finally had peace? How I didn’t need to fight, I could finally rest?”

Tears rolled from Cordy’s eyes and now she understood, she could see why Buffy came here and wanted to be back in the past. “Oh god Buffy.” Cordy sniffed.

Buffy smiled at Cordy and reached out taking hold of her hand. It felt nice to have comfort of, well a friend. “The others can see there is something wrong that I’m not all there but they don’t say anything, I can hear them making up excuses for me and none of them will confront me, none of them will talk about it. They try and pretend its not there.”

“Yeah well I can’t say a lot pretending and not telling people things I’ve done but that story is for another time. I guess this is where Spike fits in.”

Buffy nodded. “Yeah with the whole chip thing he felt alone and we became friends, good friends. I bet people would laugh at that and ask how can you be friends with a vampire?”

Cordy did laugh at that. “Oh I think I understand my best friend happens to be a vampire.”

“Oh god we have something in common.” Buffy said in mock terror.

“The disaster another apocalypse is coming now we have something in common, oh wait there is one coming.” The two young girls laughed, it was a carefree one and too other people that would have walked passed they looked like any other young women.

“There is something missing, I don’t know I feel numb and before you say it’s what you’ve been through, even Spike can sense it hell even his chip doesn’t work on my I am not completely human anymore. Spike could attack me like that.” Buffy held up her hand and clicked her fingers together. Cordy just watched the slayer waiting for her to finish. “Well we were fighting and we argued pushed each other around and oh my god we took a building down. We were slamming each other against walls and.” Buffy started to cry. “It was the first time I felt something even if it was pain. I didn’t feel alone just for a little while and after that he would keep coming back and I used him time and time again.”

“So what does Spike say about this?” Cordy asked.

“He says he’s in love with me.” Buffy used her sleeve to wipe away her tears.

“And you in love with him?” Cordy said softly.

“I don’t know but he was the only one I could talk to, well there is you now.”

“Yeah there is me, if we survive of course. You need to figure out what you feel for him and hey you are crying you are feeling something so that is a start.”

“I know but it is so difficult. Can uhh we talk about you for a moment I mean uhhh you know stuff about me so” Buffy waved her arm in the air.

“Ok ummm I came to LA to be an actress, which I really sucked at. Angel rescued me from a vampire.”

“Stop uhh no I mean about you and Angel?” Buffy asked carefully.

“Ahhh me and Angel that’s complicated and nothing can happen. I’m his seer.” Cordy smiled at the thought of Angel, about his shanshu and of helping him.

Buffy stared her breath had been taken away by Cordelia’s smile, she saw what Xander saw in her once upon a time, it lit a whole room, it warmed you from the inside out. “Why are you smiling?”

Cordy turned to her. “That will have to come from Angel it’s his thing to tell.”

“So these visions what are they?” Buffy asked in fascination.

“Well I see people in trouble, I see what ever a demon or vampire is going to do to them. I feel what the victim feels if they are burned I feel like I am getting burned and of course there is the mind splitting poor more hot lava through my skull pain but apart from that rather boring.” Cordy said with a smirk at the end.

Buffy’s face paled and she thought she had a bad time. This definitely wasn’t the old Cordy. This was an amazing young woman who lived through hell time and time again but here she was still helping the helpless doing her part to make the place a better world. Who would have thought that they would have more in common? “Why? Uhh How?”

“These are my visions, we help people I’ve felt the horror and the pain in this world and I’m gonna do whatever I can too make it better even if it is only a little bit.”

Buffy opened her mouth to speak when Cordy’s mobile started to ring.

She pulled it out and put it to her ear. “Yeah, hmmm, ok.” After closing it she turned to the slayer. “Well Wesley has found something and all hands on deck are needed for research.” Buffy nodded and stood up but before she could head off Cordy grabbed hold of her arm. “This talk is not over yet. After the big fighty we’ll escape and talk some more ok.”

Buffy nodded a smile on her face. “I’d like that.” She shook her head mentally because she actually meant it.


Chapter 10

Angel paced the room; his eyes kept straying to the door he was getting worried. He wanted to call her but knew that if he did and she wasn’t in trouble Cordy would stake him for being so overprotective; he had to trust that she knew what she was doing. The vampire still had the aftermath of his announcement to deal with yet, he told everyone that he loved one Cordelia Chase but he didn’t tell her privately she heard the same time as anyone else did. He rubbed his eyes Angel had never felt this tired before in his long life.

Gunn, Fred and Wesley watched him with amusement but they could understand his fear. Gunn and Fred didn’t know Buffy they had only just met her and before that they had only heard a few things about her but Wesley knew her and he didn’t think that she would hurt Cordelia but when it comes to emotions nothing could be guaranteed.

The Scoobies just stood and stared not sure what the hell was going on? Spike just stood back and watched, his face was blank void of emotions, but if you looked into his eyes you could see the pain, the loneliness and the anger, the blonde vampire could not believe it, Buffy was the second woman who put him in second place after Angel, the first was Drusilla, he didn’t want to be second fiddle it wasn’t fair. Angel didn’t want Buffy he had moved on to the brunette cheerleader but did that stop the slayer from throwing herself at him NOOOOOO his mind said sarcastically. What was it about Angelus that made women want him, even as the poof Angel he had women falling at his feet? Good guy or sadistic demon he would never lack female companionship.

The doors of the hotel swung up, all eyes turned and the two women walked in seemingly uninjured. Buffy stood there what was going on? Cordy knew exactly what it was and as she walked past Angel into the lobby she hit him on the chest.

“Owww what was that for?” He asked trying to act innocently.

“Don’t give me that overprotective much.” She said with grin, Cordy liked that he cared and worried about her.

Angel ducked his head in an embarrassment.

Cordy was just about to say something when a vision hit her, she reached out towards Angel, but before he could grab hold of her she screamed her head snapped back and she was flung backwards and her back hit the weapons cabinet and she collapsed on the ground, glass raining down on her head

Angel was at her side in a blink of an eye quickly joined by Gunn, Fred and Wesley. Buffy and the Scoobies were frozen to the spot.

Fred looked at Angel. “What’s wrong? This what not like her normal visions?”

Angel raised his eyes, they were full of tears, and “She’s not waking up, why isn’t she waking up?”

They all turned to Wesley they needed reassurance that she was going to be fine, but he had no idea what was going on.

“Maybe it’s like another Billy thing?” The petite Texan said.

All eyes turned to her and then back to the vampire as he growled deeply in his chest. He picked her up; gently she was one of the most precious things in his life. Ignoring everyone he carried her u p to his bedroom and laid her on his bed. Angel took hold of her hand and lay next to her. Whispering to her softly.

“You have to wake up now, you can’t leave me alone, not now. I need you, I love you Cordy. I have never loved a woman as I do you.” He started to stroke her hair. You changed me, I don’t know if I can do this without you, I don’t know if I want to.” Angel curled his body around his seers, his head lay on her stomach and he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, afraid to let go, afraid that she wouldn’t wake if he left.


Wesley stood with Gunn and Fred as they stared after the vampire.

“Gunn go over to Cordy’s place see if you can find out anything and don’t forget to ask Dennis, Fred go with him, follow up any leads if you find any just let me know.” Fred and Gunn nodded as they rushed out of the door.

Lorne poked his head around the corridor at the top of the stairs. “I’ll look after the munchkin.”

Wesley nodded but started to talk before the green demon vanished back to his room. “We might need you later to see if it is the same thing as Billy?” Lorne nodded and left their sight.

Buffy walked over to him. “Can I help?” She asked quietly, the ex may queen and her had talked they would probably never be friends and she still couldn’t get over the fact that Angel was in love with her but it did help to talk and she saw how everyone here needed her, they were lost.

“You could help me research if you want it would be a great help.” Wesley asked her with a small smile.

“Of course I will.” There were coughs from elsewhere in the lobby, the slayer turned and smiled as she saw her friend’s faces. “WE will be happy to help.”

“She seems to mean a lot to everyone?” Xander asked it was had to reconcile the woman he had seen to the girl who use to terrorise him and well everyone and when they dated the woman he could insult one moment and be kissing you with passion the next.

“Fred described her the best when talking to her parents Cordy is the heart of Angel Investigations, she is the one that takes care of us, if there is a problem or we need to speak to someone it will be here whether we want to talk or not.” Wesley said with a smile as he thought about who Cordelia Chase was. “You should stay and get to know her, get to know us and Angel.”

Spike laughed. “I don’t think so watcher. The poof never changes.”

“That is ex-watcher to you Spike, you changed and so has Angel some good and some bad.” Wes became thoughtful. “Chopping off Lindsey’s hand to get the scrolls.”

Willow gasped. “He did what?”

“That was when his office had been blown up and I was in the hospital and Cordy was having visions 24/7 and those scrolls were the only way to save her, not sure of my opinion when he left a room full of lawyers with Drusilla and Darla.”

Spikes eyebrow rose. “The poof let them be a banquet.” He couldn’t help but laugh.

“Spike it’s not funny.” Buffy told him but it made Spike laugh even harder.

“I was just making a point that you don’t know them, or me anymore just like we don’t really know you either. Don’t pretend that you do. Let’s get researching we need to know what happened to her and to find a way to make her better.”

Wesley went to his bookshelf and started to hand out the books, Spike looked up the stairs and sighed and quietly headed up there. The young English man turned to hand Spike his book but the blonde haired vampire was nowhere to be seen. Wes just shook his head sat down and opened the book.


Spike gently opened the door of Angel’s bedroom and poked his head through the gap, he could saw the older vampire holding the brunette securely but gently afraid that she might break and if he didn’t hold on that she might vanish.

“Poo, uhh Angel. Everyone’s researching downstairs.” Spike said awkwardly.

“Go away Spike. ” Angel told him in a cold voice.

The man of the bed was getting angry, here he was fighting the good fight and when something goes right in his life something comes along to mess it up. He growled and his arms tightened around the young woman.

“Angel you need to get rid of that anger and then you can really help her. You are no use like this.” Spike couldn’t believe what he was saying.

“I can’t leave her alone, I won’t”

“I’ll stay here while you go and beat something back.” Spike stared down at the brunette.

“Keep her safe Spike, if anything, anything at all changes let me know immediately.” The dark haired vampire told him. Spike nodded and watched as Angel left the room.

Spike sat down on one side of the bed, his long leather coat trapped beneath his legs as he stretched out.

“So you and Buffy talked? I bet I was mentioned. So you know maybe I can talk to you as well.” He looked around a bit nervous knowing that this was stupid but he really didn’t have anyone to talk to and hopefully she couldn’t hear any of this or wouldn’t remember. “I love her you know, just like the poof does you but how did he get so lucky. You heat his blood you accept him vampire and all. Buffy thinks I’m a monster ok I am but there is more to me than that. What am I going to do? I let her hurt me over and over again and I still go back for more.”


Angel ignored everyone as he headed downstairs into the basement and started to beat the shit our of his punch bag, putting every frustration, every little anger, hopelessness and fear into every single punch. He felt lost and alone, afraid of what was going to happen that he was never going to look at her beautiful eyes, he dropped to his knees and stared at the ceiling and roared, it was a sound of desperation, of fear and the tears found their release and they flowed from his eyes like the Niagara Falls, he bent his body so his head touched his legs and he just let the tears come.


Everyone in the lobby stopped and looked down at the basement the scream had echoed around the lobby. Wesley lowered his head, that was how he felt Cordy was his little sister and loved her but his pain was nothing compared to the vampire downstairs. Buffy stood up quietly laid the book gently on the side and headed down to see Angel.


Spike stopped speaking and listened, he had felt like that himself, he glanced down at Cordelia she didn’t deserve this he hoped that she woke up and woke up healthy from what he had heard she had been through a lot, why couldn’t any of them be happy just for a little while.


Buffy walked into the basement walked straight to the vampire curled up on the floor and wrapped her arms around him.

“It’s going to be fine Angel. Cordelia is strong she’ll be fine.” Buffy prayed that she would be because she didn’t know how all of Angel Investigations would survive especially the man she held in her arms, but when he looked at her, the emptiness of his brown eyes the tears fell from her as well as they hung to each other like lifelines. The slayer had loved Angel for a long time, long enough to want him to be happy and to finally let go of him and move on with her life just as he had. That was one of the reasons her relationships never worked, they weren’t her first love and he always would be but he wasn’t her true love, they had helped each other on the road to their destinies Angel had found his here in LA with Cordy. She just had to find hers, Spike her heart whispered but her head told it to shut up, not now, this was not the time. When this was over her and Spike would talk.


There was nothing Cordy looked around, where the hell was she? The last thing she remembered she just had a vision and nothing.

“Hello?” She called out.

Cordy waited and there was no reply but a whispering started and she strained to hear it.

“Talked, can I, love her, vampire, Buffy, monster, do, hurt, more.”

She just managed to catch the odd words but she did know that voice, of all people or vampires why did she hear him?

“Spike?” She yelled at the top of her voice.


Spike reached over and touched her hand not knowing if it brought her any comfort.

“Spike?” A voice called out her knew it, he recognised it, his gaze dropped to the cheerleader but she hadn’t moved what the hell was going on? As soon as the poof got back he would go and tell Wesley about this.

“This is just great.” She mumbled to herself.

“Ahh Miss Chase there you are?” Said a strange voice.

Chapter 11

“Who the hell are you?” She demanded. “Where the hell am I and what do you want?”

“My name is Skip. Pleasure to meet you.” The demon held out his hand.

Cordelia just glared at him, not caring that he was a demon. “So that answers the who are you but what about the others?”

“You are here to be tested Miss Chase?” he told her simply.

Her eyes narrowed suspicoulsy. “Tested how, why?”

“Well I can’t give you any more answers.” He told her regretfully.

“Any more answers.” She snorted. “The only one you’ve answered is your name. Why can’t I have any more answers.”

“Think of this as like it like the Matrix, you are Keanu and have to work out what is real.” Skip said with a grin.

“You’ve watched the Matrix.” Cordy asked him in an amused tone.

“Oh, I love that flick. When Trinity is all ‘dodge this’ and the agent just crumples to the and I’m not really instilling any ‘awe’ anymore, am I?” Skip asked her his face a little disappointed

Cordy just watched him amusement covering her face. “Look I just want to go home that is all.” She said sadness evident in her voice.

”You will if you pass these tests with the champion you have choosing?” Skip said reassuringly.

“Huh what champion?” Cordy asked she couldn’t remember telling anyone who her champion would be the only name she had said was. “Oh god you have to be kidding me.”

Skip just grinned and waved his hand the light around her started to glow.


Spike leant towards Cordelia’s face and stared at her intently. He was sure he had heard her voice. He reached out a hand and poked her in the cheek with his finger and then waiting to see if had any reaction, when there was nothing he poked her again.

“Weird.” He mumbled.

A light started to glow from the unconscious woman on the bed he moved backwards but the light got to him first and he was frozen to the spot, the light got brighter and brighter until he was blinded, the light covered him and then he could feel something pull him, it felt as if he were being ripped from his body. The scream escaped from Spike’s mouth and echoed around the whole hotel.


Angel stopped in mid punch as soon as he heard the noise and in the blink if an eye he was on his way up the stairs with Buffy close on his heels, they ran past the others in the lobby who had just managed to get to their feet as the vampire and the slayer moved past them up to Angel’s room.

He flung open the door as the light disappeared and on the bed Spike was collapsed over Cordelia. His head looked like he was using her breasts as pillows. Angel went over and moved him so he was laying on his back beside Cordelia, unconscious.

“What is happening Angel?” Buffy asked, briefly wondering why Spike was alone with Cordelia anyway.

Angel shrugged his shoulders as the others from AI walked in. Wesley rushed over and checked out Spike, well as much as he could for someone who was already dead.

“Wes we have to figure out what is going on? First Cordelia and then Spike what is the connection?” The vampire asked.

“I have no idea Angel but I will see what I can find out. Gunn hit the streets.” Gunn nodded and left. “Fred get on the net?” Fred rushed out the door.

The Scoobies had arrived and were watching from the door and had to move apart to let Fred and Gunn through. Willow rushed out and followed down the stairs maybe she could help with the net stuff. Xander just stood there and looked at Cordelia, she was like sleeping beauty, she was more beautiful now then when he had dated her. This life made her happy, she was with the people she loved.


Spike slowly opened his eyes, his head pounded it was like waking up with a hangover but it was a damn shame that he had drunk any alcohol to get like this. He looked around, it was well nothing, until he reached a pair of feminine feet and a not so feminine feet. His eyes went back to the more attractive pair, his eyes roamed on the shapely legs, the curve of her hips, the flat stomach and the more than ample breasts until he reached the face, it was a face he recognised, it was one Cordelia Chase who had no placed her hands on her hips and was tapping a foot, her eyebrow raised she had seen him appreciate her form.

He struggled to his feet, his body hurt all over.

“So?” Spike said not really knowing what to say.

“Your champion has arrived?” Skip told her.

She groaned and Spike looked around he couldn’t see Angel anywhere and then he realised that they were both looking at him and then it hit the vampire, HE was her champion and looked at the miserable look on Cordelia’s face and started to laugh and he continued to laugh, he bent over the waist, tears rolling down his face.

“Me?” He choked out. “I’m her champion.”

Skip turned to her. “Nope not my champion, look at him, please.” She said waving at the now quiet blonde vampire who was glaring at her.

“Then you will have to protect yourself.” The demon did not look happy at this prospect. “This is unusual.”

“Hey I can protect myself.” She cried out in annoyance. “Not everyone is Miss Likes to Fight but that doesn’t mean I can’t.”

Spike looked at her. “You’re kidding, YOU?”

She thumped him on the arm.

“Yes me Angel has been training me.” She told him smugly.

“I’ll bet he has.” He said leering at her.

“Oh get your little soap opera mind out of the gutter. Do you actually have an life.” She snapped.

“Nope I’m dead.” Spike grinned.

“Well I can see why people wanted you dead, now next time just don’t wake up.”

Spike opened his mouth to retort when Skip jumped in before they could start another round, these two were like children.

“It begins.” The demon said as he voice echoed around them.

“What….” Before she could finish her sentence something big, strong and hard slammed into her side and knocked her across the nothingness.

“You are your own champion.” Skip said.

Cordelia looked up and before she could get a good look at her opponent it backhanded her, her head snapped back as she flew across the nothingness again.


Chapter 12

Cordelia’s eyes were wide with fright as the demon loomed over her.

“You are your champion if no one else helps you can just quit now and not get hurt.” Skip told her.

“NO I WON’T QUIT.” She screamed. The demons hand came down to smash her skull; she closed her eyes and waited for the end.

But it never came, she carefully opened one eye and then the other and standing there holding the demons arm was Spike, he had come to her rescue. Cordy looked at him quizzically.

“Looks like you got yourself a champion.” The blonde vampire said with a smirk.

Cordelia looked at him not sure if this was a good thing or not. He flung the demon away to the other side of the nothingness and as it landed it just disappeared. Spike held out a hand and helped her up.

“Skip what is going on?” She asked in annoyance.

“That was the first test.” Skip told them.

Spike and Cordelia looked at each other both confused.

“But I am the seer to Angel not Spike so why would it matter if he had to save me?” Cordy asked him.

Skip looked at her carefully. “The test is about you and who you are. Someone was picked that is a champion.” They all noticed that Spike’s smile had widened. “We have to know if you are the kind of person that someone would stand by no matter what, we knew that your champion would but we needed to find out if another one would step up to the plate and protect you if it was needed. He is now your second.”

“WHAT?” She screamed. “You want me to have another champion, isn’t it one seer to one champion.”

Spike was frozen to the spot his mind trying to deal with what had just been said, he was a champion.

“You were more than the powers expected, and this is the test to see if you can go onto the next stage.” He paused and looked up.

Cordy turned to Spike and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Hello Skip?” Cordy called out.

Skip’s eyes focused he turned and looked at her. “I am aloud to give you more information you need to now decide if you want to take these next tests.”

“What are my choices?” The brunette asked wearily.

“If you decide to say no you will go back as you are and you will die.” Skip told her his eyes said.

Spike turned and stared at her Cordy hung her head not being able to look at her in the eyes.

“You’re dying does the poof know about this?” The vampire asked even though he knew what the answer was.

“No he doesn’t none of them do Angel, all of them have been through so much I couldn’t burden him with this as well.” Tears fell from her eyes.

“A burden, so what one day he was going to wake up and you were going to be dead. How do you think he would take that?” Spike’s voice rose in anger.

“It doesn’t matter now does it Spike?” She whispered.

“No I don’t suppose it does.” He shook his head still not believing that she hadn’t told anyone that she was dying.

“So what are the other choices Skip I don’t like that one.”

Skip sighed. “Ok this is the two sides of a coin kind of thing the good and the bad.”

“I am not going to want to hear this am I, but go on.”

“Well if you choose to do the test and if you pass you will become a higher being.” He held up his hand as the seer opened her mouth to say something. “You can remain on earth with your champions you will be able to receive more visions and see more in them and best of all no pain but uhh this is.” The demon stuttered.

“Just tell me?” Cordy mumbled as she sat on the ground, she knew that to hear the rest of this she was going to need to be sitting down.

Spike watched her and he could see that she was beginning to worry, hell he was too.

“Well to help with the pain and the transfer to a higher being you’re going to have to become part demon. “He held up his hand again to stop them both talking this time. “I have no idea what changes will happen to you for each person it will be different but the pain to alter you to part demon will make your visions seem like a walk in the park but the benefits would out way them.”

“What if I go for this test and fail.” Her voice quiet, Cordy now felt worn out, so very tired.

“Well uhh you see it would.” Skip stumbled over the words, he looked everywhere apart at her or Spike.

“Spit out or I’ll rip your tongue out.” Spike muttered angrily wishing that he had a fag.

“Anything good inside of you will vanish you will become pure evil and try to kill everything in site.”

Cordy looked at Spike. “You don’t think that what the part of the thingy that Giles read was this, was me.” Fear was evident in her eyes, she didn’t want to be evil, and kill her friends.

Spike walked over and knelt in front of her, his fingers cupped her chin and he forced her to look up at him. “You are not going to fail this test.”

“I don’t have much choice do I, if I don’t at least attempt this and go back I am going to die sooner rather than later at least this way I have a 50/50 chance.” Her eyes stared deeply into Spike’s. “Promise me that if I fail that you will kill me, you have to promise me.”

The vampire opened and closed his mouth he could see by the look on her face that she was serious. He laid a palm against her cheek and she leant towards it, she needed that contact but she was amazed that Spike was the one offering. “I promise that if you turn evil I will kill you.”

“Also tell Angel how much I love him, with every fibre of who I am, tell them all I love them they became my family and I was honoured and proud to have known them. Tell them not to feel guilty I loved my life with them and I would not have changed a single moment good or bad because where we ended up together was worth it and that my last thoughts were of them and how loved I felt.”

“I will, I’ll tell them everything.” He paused for a moment trying to get his thoughts together. “But I won’t need to because you are going to pass this test and become a part human part demon higher being seer. I’ve just got my first seer and my first gig officially as a champion I’m not going to lose you so quickly.” Spike gave her a small grin but his eyes were full of sadness and worry.

“Ok Spike.” She gave him a peck on the cheek. “Skip let’s get the testing on the road.”

Skip nodded his eyes full of respect for this young woman, no human and no creature of her young age had ever gone through this, even older and wiser ones still failed he truly hoped she would pass there was a light that shined from within that warmed the people around her when she let them see it. Angel Investigations was a lucky group to have this woman with them. He waved his arm and a bright light surrounded them, coming towards them before they were all totally covered and then they vanished.


Angel sat on the side of the bed where Cordelia lay gripping her hand like it was his lifeline afraid that if he let go she would vanish and he would never see her again. It should have been him not Spike, jealousy ate at him, the demon inside wanted to maim and then kill what ever, who ever had taken her.

The door to the bedroom opened and Wesley peeked his head through indicating that Angel should follow him. The vampire didn’t want to but there was something in the former watchers eyes, something he knew he wasn’t going to like.

He bent over and kissed her gently on the lips savouring her taste and wishing that she would open her beautiful eyes and kiss her back. Angel stood and walked down and joined the others in the lobby, you could cut the atmosphere with a knife.

The Scoobies were on one side of the room Buffy was scowling while the others just looked confused. Wes was staring out into the garden his back to everyone, Gunn also had his back to Angel but the vampire could sense the anger radiating from the young man. Fred was sitting down her head was buried in her hands, his gut clenched from fear something was wrong, something serious. The petite Texan lifter her head to gaze at him her eyes were red and puffy she had been crying, a lot. Angel frowned, as the fear seemed to sink deeper and deeper within him. Everyone jumped when Gunn smashed his fist into the wall and yelled.

“What’s going on?” Angel asked not really wanting an answer.

Buffy walked forward. “Well don’t ask us, we don’t know. They won’t tell us anything.” She said bitterly. The slayer didn’t like being left out she was usually the first to know.

“It’s uhh Dennis, he told um showed us.” Fred mumbled but couldn’t finish what she was going to say as the tears started to flow again.

Angel opened his mouth but wasn’t sure what to say this was going to be a lot worse than he thought, he wanted to turn around, go upstairs and wrapl his body around Cordy’s and pretend none of this was happening.

Wes turned and looked at Angel pain written all over his face. Gunn still hadn’t moved.

“Cordy’s dying!” Gunn growled out.

Gasps were heard from around the room Buffy moved towards Angel but stopped, the other Scoobies faces were covered in shock.

Angel was sure he had misheard time seemed to stop for him as he tried to absorb what Gunn had said.

“No” He whispered his whole body shook with fear he couldn’t lose her not now, not ever.

“I’m afraid it’s true Angel. Dennis gave Fred and Gunn a box it was full of medication each one getting stronger. There was a pile of cat scans each one showing a little more of her brain dying.” The tears were obvious in his eyes as he tried to hold them back and failed.

“How long has she known?” Angel chocked out.

“Over 10 months.” Gunn said softy. “10 freaking months and she never told us.”

“The visions were killing her, I was killing her she was fighting for my redemption. She told me that she would be by my side each step of the way.” Angel said emotionless as he turned and headed back upstairs to his room.

“Angel?” Buffy called and reached her arm out to him hoping that he would lean on her, Angel’s face was blank as he walked straight passed her never seeing her, not seeing anybody. Tears fell from his eyes and his heart ached he truly felt alone, he was loosing his heart, his soul, his love, she was his reason for carrying on this fight.


“Cordy?” A voice said.

The brunette turned and smiled.


Chapter 13

“Yes.” Cordelia smiled automatically as the young girl in front of her

“Could I have an autograph and maybe a picture with you?” The young girl asked nervous and blushed as her idol stared at her.

“Of course you can.” Cordy replied but as she bent down to sign the picture something caught her eye in the shadows she wasn’t sure what it was, it seemed like a person but they managed to blend into the darkness. She was still weary of going out a night even though since she had left Sunnyhell she hadn’t bumped into any other vampires, demons or other things that go bump in the night, well not to her knowledge anyway.


Spike lit as cigarette as Cordelia Chase walked into the restaurant he was sure that she spotted him. Damn PTB not only was he her champion.

“It should have been the poof.” He muttered under his breath

So not only was she a famous TV star, her life was different so she only remembered the people from when she lived in Sunnydale. He looked around if she didn’t remember, if she wanted to stay in this life, she would turn evil and destroy this reality. She was an amazing woman and she could even have a normal, rich life of a TV personality without having demons running in her life.

“Please pass, I don’t want to kill you, I truly don’t” Spike was looking forward to getting to know the cheerleader, his seer.


Cordy left the restaurant, she was so bored these people that she had to get ‘mingly’ with just to keep her profile out there were so incredibly boring. The brunette stopped when she was outside and looked around she had that feeling again that someone was watching her. She tried to look into all the shadows but couldn’t see anyone. Cordy shook of that feeling. “It must have been thinking about Sunnydale that is making me nervous.” Cordy muttered to herself.

As she continued to walk and turn the corner Spike emerged from the darkness and took a drag from his cigarettes, he dropped it to the floor and stood on it as he walked past, his long leather jacket swinging behind him.

He walked slowly anyone who saw him could see that he was a predator, he stalked along the sidewalks, all his senses on his pray, in this case it was the person he was protecting.

A scream echoed around the empty streets Spike stopped looked around and saw some guys grabbing hold of HIS seer, he growled vamped out and ran after them.


Cordy screamed as loud as she could when these guys grabbed her and dragged her down an alleyway, they turned and flung her against the wall. Her head smacked hard against the brick it made her see stars for a few moments when she could finally see again there were two men who were grinning at her.

“Do you want a scare little girl?” One of the men asked.

Cordy laughed at them and in the next moment they vamped out.

“Oh great vampires.” She muttered.

The two vampires were confused she should be screaming and panicking and telling herself that they didn’t exist.

Spike ran around the corner and Cordy saw him. “Spike?” She asked. “Oh great 3 vampires, I hope you choke on my blood.” She was tired and now someone from her past had just appeared and not in a good way.

The blonde vampire shook his head and laughed one thing about Cordelia Chase is not much throws her he thought to himself as he started to beat the two up and had laid their hands on this young woman. They were new and didn’t stand a chance against Spike and it was long before their bodies had turned to dust and blew away in the wind.

Spike took a step towards Cordelia and she moved a step away from him, looking nervous, not sure what was going on.

“I just saved your life.” Spike grumbled.

“Yes you did, why? Do you want me for yourself cause I tell ya I don’t like that much better than any vamp munching on me.” Cordy said glaring at him.

The vampire chuckled he was really beginning to like her. “I am not going to munch on you I’m a good guy like the poof, uh Angel.”

The brunette eyed he sceptically. “You are?”

“Yes and let’s get the hell out of her before anyone else attacks where do you want me to take you.” He asked as he grabbed her hand and marched her out of the dark damp alley.

“I’m not inviting you in anywhere.” Cordy told him.

“Fine don’t…” Before he could finish his sentence another vampire who threw him against the wall attacked him from behind. “RUN,” he shouted to Cordelia as he attacked his foe.

Cordy did what he asked and took off as fast as her legs could take her as she ran around the corner she could still hear the battle, she stopped and turned around picking up a piece of wood she ran back.

“What am I doing? What am I doing?” She repeated to herself as she ran. Cordy managed to get back to the fight just as the other vampire was going to stake Spike. “NO!” She screamed the vamp turned to her and she staked him.

The two of them looked at each other with the same shocked expressions.

“Congratulations.” Said a voice the seer and her second champion turned around and standing there was Skip.

All the memories came rushing back to her. “Did I pass?” She asked nervously taking hold of Spike’s hand.

Skip smiled at her. “Yes you did, you both did?”

“What?” Spike and Cordy said together.

“Spike you risked your life to save hers, even though you could feel yourself losing and instead of saving your own skin you continued to fight to give Miss Chase a chance to get away. Cordelia you came back and saved the life of a vampire who tried to kill you on numerous occasions who hurt people you cared about but because he saved you and you being the person you are you, couldn’t not help him. Now.” With a wave of his hand he transported Cordelia away leaving Spike with him.

“What the hell, you bloody wanker how can I be her champion if we’re not together.” Spike growled.

“You can’t help her on this one Spike this has to be all her.”


“Oh god no, not this.” Cordelia feel to her knees crying.

Chapter 14

Tears fell from her eyes she didn’t want to be alone to see this Spike had not been sent with her this time she hoped he was ok. Cordelia tried to look away from the grotesque scene in front of her but she couldn’t, hanging from the wall chained up, beaten and bleeding was Buffy, Xander, Willow, Anya, Giles, Wesley, Fred and Gunn. Blood rolled down the bodies like raindrops on a window and when they finally reached the fingertips the dropped onto the ground and to Cordelia this sound was deafening, she could feel the vomit rising in her throat, she bent her head gulping in deep breath trying to stop the bile from rising, trying to stop the fear, the pain and the lose of seeing those people who had played important parts in her life, but the only one who wasn’t there, who played the biggest part of all was Angel. Where was he? Her face paled they couldn’t.

“No please don’t.” She whispered softly her heart begging not to let this be what she thought. “Oh god let me wrong.”

“Well, well, well what do we have here?” Said a male sensuous voice, a very familiar voice, and Cordelia knew what the test was going to be and she wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to pass it. The sons of bitches did it, one of her truest fears and they made it come true. Anger grabbed at her chest, her eyes flashed angrily.

“Angelus.” She choked the words out, her eyes stared at him haunted and alone she knew that she promised but how was she going to stand there and stake the man, the vampire she loved with everything part of her being. Cordelia thought that she could deal with this, she truly did. She had promised her best friend that if he changed she would stake him, but deep down even then she wasn’t sure that she would have been strong enough to do it but now, it was Angel, her heart.

“Cordelia.” He drawled out her name slowly and sexily as his eyes gazed hungrily at her body.

Cordy’s body suddenly went into high alert; she hopped to her feet looking around trying to figure out where she was and of course what she was going to do. Her eyes darted from side to side in panic. She backed away and her back hit a wall, but something appeared in the corner of her eye. Cordy reached down and grabbed the stake just as Angelus pushed against the wall. He body hard and unyielding against hers. He gently cupped her chin in his hands and raised it so he could stare into her eyes.

The vampire’s changed to yellow as his face vamped out, his fingers bit into her chin as he forced his lips against hers in a bruising kiss. Cordelia’s mind was running a mile a minute she knew that she had to get out of there, she had to stop him. So she did the only thing she thought of she kissed him back hard and parted her lips and he did the same, she ran her tongue over his fangs and let one of them nick her tongue so the blood fell onto his mouth.

Angelus froze as the blood landed on his palate, it was exquisite, and he pulled away and stared deeply into her hazel eyes. Cordelia was falling deeply into those eyes on the face she loved whether it was his deep chocolate brown eyes or his vampire yellow ones it never mattered to her so she did the only thing she could in a situation like this, Cordy raised her leg and kneed him in the genitals and watched him as he grunted in pain and collapsed to his knees. Cordy then kicked him hard in the face and he fell onto his back.

The brunette straddled the vampire and raised the stake in the air above his heart. The yellow eyes stared back at her and they changed into the heartbreaking beautiful brown ones that look into forever.

His brows furrowed together. “Cordy?” He whispered confusion in his voice.

Cordy paused unsure what to do but something didn’t seem right, she saw something in his eyes and with one quick movement the stake came down.

“I love you.” His whispered as he turned into a pile of dust and vanished beneath her.

She sobbed the tears came from her eyes like the Niagara Falls, the pain inside her chest was excruciating, and Cordy could hardly breath. She couldn’t believe it she had killed him. The brunette curled up into the fetal position and rocked herself backwards and forwards.

The next thing a pair of strong arms pulled her up and wrapped them around her, she looked up and saw Spike, his face full of worry.

“I killed him, I killed Angel.” She wept all she wanted to do was to hide away in the dark.

Spike looked up at skip and growled how could they put her through this, it was bad enough watching Buffy die but he couldn’t imagine what it would be like to actually do that final blow.

“Cordelia you didn’t kill Angel, you killed Angelus.” Skip told her.

She looked at him her eyes blazing. “They are both part of the same person the manpire I love, I did it because I made a promise to him and I know that his soul would be in torment for all of eternity if Angelus went around slaughtering people.”

“I’m sorry Cordelia, you did pass the test. You saved innocents over that of your heart, of your happiness.” Skip mumbled.

“Oh joy I just watch the man I love turn to dust but hey guess what I passed the test yippee.” Her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“It is time for your third and final test Cordelia.” The demon said but not looking at her.

Spike stood and reached out her hand. “Shall we?”

Cordelia gripped his hand tightly. “Let’s get this party started.”


Angel sat holding Cordelia’s hand he was like a statue he hadn’t moved but things were beginning to worry him her heart beat had sped up, her breathing increased as well, but the main thing was that tears were falling from her eyes, wherever she was she was said and crying.

He was sure that he had heard her whisper that she loved him; maybe that was wishful thinking on his part.

Buffy came to the room and opened the door slowly just in time to see Angel reach over and wipe tears away from her eyes, and as soon as he sensed her he turned around and the slayers heart skipped a beat, his eyes were so lost and yet so full of love all for the woman’s hand he was holding so tightly afraid that he would be lost if he let go.

It really hit the blonde then that Angel was truly over her, he had found his soul mate and they all had to pray that she would come back to him.

He watched Buffy leave and then he turned back to Cordelia.

“What the…” He growled as he saw Spike’s and Cordelia’s hands entwined. He wanted her back and he wanted her back NOW!!!

Jealousy ate at him, Spike was helping her through something, and it should be him. Cordelia was his seer, his best friend, his everything and all he could do was sit here and wait to see what was going to happen, to see if she would even wake up again. All he wanted was to see her smile, to see the world become a brighter place because of it, even her call him a dork, broody boy, hell he even would accept her calling him a eunuch.

If only he could prove to her that he wasn’t, that he could take her to heights of pleasure she had never known, but he knew, everyone knew that she was the one that would give him perfect happiness, sometimes without sleeping with her he was almost there everyday he fought the temptation, he was afraid all the time that Angelus would appear. He’d always walked a very thin line ever since he had met and fallen in love with Buffy, but now that line had gotten thinner and thinner and Angel knew that one wrong step and he would fall but he couldn’t go away, he couldn’t leave her. It had broken her and him he could never do it to them again. She was his life.


Spike and Cordelia arrived at their next destination and the blonde vampires hand gripped hers tightly.

Skip stood and looked at the view in front of them. “It is your choice Cordelia? What are you going to do?”

Chapter 15

Spike felt as if his heart drop as he saw Buffy standing over the open portal ready to hump in, Dawn was just behind her crying.

Cordy saw the pain etched on Spike’s face and also remembered Angel’s she couldn’t let the blonde vampire see the death of her again it must be his own personal hell, so without thinking she ran as fast as she could and pushed Buffy back, turning back to Spike she smiled softly at him.

“Remember your promise Spike, don’t let any Angel or the others kill me, they would never be able to live with themselves, you are a champion Spike never let anyone tell you any different.” She turned and jumped into the portal.

Spike screamed as she did.


Angel still sat on the bed holding Cordelia’s hand; he jumped as Spike sat up screaming.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO CORDELIA.” His voice was full of panic, it took a few minutes to realise where he was.

The rest of the AI gang and the Scoobies came running in.

The blonde vampire turned to his side and took hold of her hand, ignoring the growl coming from Angel.

“Come on Cordy please wake up, please pass.” Spike begged. He could hear Cordy’s voice clear in his mind. He turned and looked at Gunn. “Get me a sword?”

Gunn turned to Angel, the dark-haired vampire shrugged his shoulders, all he knew was that Cordy and Spike had gone through something, and Spike was awake and Cordy wasn’t.

“Why Spike?” Angel asked suspiciously.

“Because she asked me to kill her if she failed.” Spike said sadly hoping that she had passed hid didn’t want to kill her.

Angel growled and vamped out. “You lay one hand on her and I will kill you.”

“Chill poof, you don’t understand if she fails these tests she is going to be the next big bad we will have to go up against, she made me promise that is she fails that I would kill her, she didn’t want any of you guys to do it because she knew that you would never forgive yourselves.”

Angel turned towards Gunn. “Get the sword and give it to him.”

Gunn rushed out of the room and downstairs, Spike and Angel holding a hand each stared at the unconscious brunette, the same screaming through their minds You have to wake up.

Gunn ran back in and handed the sword to Spike, his dark eyes we full of fear, Spike was feeling the same thing.

Cordy’s body convulsed, a scream of pain escaped her mouth Spike and Angel held onto her shoulders as she writhed in agony. The blonde vampire had dropped the sword as soon as she started to cry. Then as quickly as it had begun it stopped and her eyes slowly blinked open. Fred knelt down picked up the sword and handed it back to Spike. Who took it and nodded his thanks.

“Do you think she passed?” Wes said softly staring at his friend trying to see any difference in her.

“Yes she did with flying colours.” Said a deep voice behind them.

Everyone turned and saw a large demon.

“Skip?” Angel and Spike said together.

“What’s happening to her?” Angel asked worriedly

“She’s becoming part demon, it will stop the visions from killing her.” Skip told them his eyes on the young woman on the bed.

“WHAT!!!!!” Angel shouted.

Spike turned to him. “She had two choices Angel go through the trials and become part demon, or dying.”

“Don’t forget she is also a higher being now, that is why she has two champions.” Skip said with a small smile playing on his lips.

Angel’s eyes narrowed, Cordelia was HIS seer and he was HER champion.
“Looks like we’re sharing then Angel.” The blonde vampire said with a grin.

Buffy gasped Spike was going to have a connection to Cordelia just like Angel; she had lost both vampires in her life to her high school nemesis. Before she could say anything there was a moan from the bed and everyone’s attention went straight to the bed.

Hazel dazed eyes blinked open, she finally focused on the man who held her heart, and watched as a smile covered his face in happiness, then she frowned she could see something more in him, she could see his soul reaching towards hers, touching and melding with each other and then she knew what she had to do. Grabbing him by the neck she pulled him towards her and stared into his eyes, she blinked and her eyes became opaque and a glow suddenly flowed out of them, she opened her mouth as if to scream and the same light came from there and it was absorbed into Angel’s eyes and mouth.

Buffy saw that smile and her breath had caught in her throat and her chest ached he had never smiled like that at her before but when the light went into and Spike’s words came back to her, Cordy might have failed they could’ve been lying, she moved forward but Skip grabbed her arm and shook his head, Spike watched the interaction between the demon and the slayer so he knew not to interfere.

Cordelia blinked again and the light seemed to be switched of and her hazel orbs were back to normal and then she collapsed back against the pillows closing her eyes.

“What was that?” Willow whispered.

“Cordelia.” Angel asked softly as her brushed her cheek, her eyes fluttered open and she smiled tiredly at him.

Skip looked around and decided that he better be the one that explained things to them.

“Cordelia could see her and Angel’s souls reaching out too each other” Skip opened his mouth to say more but was interrupted by Buffy.

“Why were their souls doing that?” She asked even though deep down she knew the answer.

The demon smiled sadly at her. “Because they are soul mates, the belong to each other.” His gaze went to the two smiling and each other on the bed. “The light you just saw was their souls binding together, as long as one lives so does the other, they can’t survive without each other. The Powers That Be saw how their love had grown and there was only one thing they could do was test her to see if she was worthy to be a higher being and she passed with no hesitation. His soul is bound to hers now as long as they are together the happiness clause in his curse will be no more.”

Angel whipped his head around and stared at Skip in amazement. “You mean that we can be together truly, that we can make love.”

Skip laughed. “Yes you can be love and have ‘perfect happiness’ and Angelus will not come out to play. Your love is special it is a one in a lifetime deal; you love each other completely and wholly. You match each other your are light to his darkness, you are Trinity and Neo.”

“You really do like The Matrix, don’t you skip?” Cordy said with a laugh she had no idea what a higher being did and what demon aspects she would get but she didn’t care, she had Angel. The demon seer frowned and then hit Angel on the shoulder hard.

“Owww what was that for?” His brown eyes staring at her confusion written in them.

“Oh Mr I’ll tell everyone before I tell you I love you.” Cordy mumbled at him.

“Ahh that, sorry I just had to make sure, you know?” Angel muttered trying not to say that he was trying to get through to Buffy that they were over and had been for a long time.

“Ok I’ll forgive you just this once.” And then she smiled and it lit up the room.

Angel couldn’t believe she was finally back and that she was his as her was hers. He leant forward and gently touched his lips to hers. Cordy wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him down with her so she lay flat on the bed, his arms wrapped around his her waist as the kiss became more and more intense, the passion building, their love shining through like a cloak that surrounded them.

Wes, Gunn and Fred smiled their family was finally complete. Spike just shook his head in disgust. The Scoobies looked around the room trying not to look at the two people kissing.

“Well kids it is time for me to go.” Skip said as he grinned at the vampire and his seer pull away from each other and before anyone could say anything to him he disappeared.

“Well that’s a neat trick.” Xander mumbled all he wanted to do was go home compared to here the Hellmouth was actually normal.

“Well uhh I think we’d better head off can’t leave the vamps and demons for too long, they might start to think they can do whatever they want to.” Buffy said sadly knowing that at the moment she just wanted to be as far from here as she could.

“Buffy come back and visit soon, ok and we’ll keep in touch.” Cordy told her with a smile they would never be best friends but there was no need for them to be enemies.

As all the Scoobies started to leave Buffy noticed that Spike had not moved from the other side of the bed.

“Spike?” The slayer questioned.

“I’m staying here Buffy.” Spike told her quietly. “Cordy is my seer, I am her, uhh one of her champions. I need to be able to work with the guys, to get to know them and.” The blonde vampire sighed. “Buffy I love you and that is not going to change I have never loved anyone the way I do you but I also know that you don’t love me back and I can keep doing what we have, it kills me every time you turn your back on me and what happens when you get another boyfriend I can’t be able to stand around and watch. I’m a vampire we are possessive by nature. I need you to accept the man and the demon.” Spike pointed to Cordy and Angel. “I want to have a relationship like that. If you ever realise you love me, well you know where I am.”

Buffy opened her mouth to tell Spike she loved him but the look in his eyes she knew that she couldn’t lie to him not know, Buffy knew that she cared for him a great deal and maybe one day she could learn to love him but accepting the vampire in him, she wasn’t sure about that it went against her very nature.

“Goodbye Spike.” Tears formed in her eyes as she said goodbye to one vampire and had to let the other one go because he had found someone else, he had found something special.

Cordy reached out and took hold of Spike’s hand.

“So food cause I am like starving and Spike and I will tell you about the tests and you guys can get to know Spike.” Cordy said with a grin.

“Oh great ANOTHER vampire, we do still kill em though, right.” Gunn said sarcastically and all the others laughed at him, the family was back together and they had a new member.