AUTHOR: VISION GIRL (aka CHRISSY)
SUMMARY: A sequel to ‘One of Those Days’. Cordelia was having a bad day (cramps and a head cold) Angel’s there to make her feel better. In his own special way.
POSTED: 10 Oct 2004
WARNINGS: None Listed
“Midol,” I repeated diffidently, my eyes narrowing and brow furrowing involuntarily at the odd word that came out of my own mouth. I looked at Cordelia silently, waiting for her to grin and admit she was kidding or roll her eyes and reluctantly explain to me exactly what it was she was asking for.
Her brown hair cascaded over half of her face, concealing the right side, her beautiful brown eyes and soft skin. Sure she was sick but she still looked gorgeous. I wanted to just tell her that to make her feel better but the words just couldn’t come out of my mouth, even though every stupid thing that I end up regretting comes out so easily.
“Midol, it’s something to help my cramps.”
Apparently my expression wasn’t what she expected. Or maybe she did and simply was annoyed at my predictability. I didn’t know for sure and didn’t bother to waste my energy trying to figure out what she was thinking.
While Cordelia Chase had that innate ability to know what I’m about to say before I even try and form the words, I’m far from even understanding things she practically spells out for me. Just another one of my more obvious flaws.
“Cramps…” I nod simply, pushing out of my seat and shoving my hands in my pockets. It was my usual routine: try to act like I know whatever the hell she’s talking about and leave before she figures it out. It was a two-sided routine, that side was mine. The other side was hers, which was to call my bullshit.
And Cordelia never broke routine. “Do I need to get out a pen and paper to draw you a picture? Will that help explain what’s going on with my body, little Angel?”
Ugh, I wanted to just growl and break something at the sound of her condescending ‘little Angel’. “I am not little.”
I stepped back and lowered my head when I heard her scoff, preparing myself to nod along and apologize. After she ripped me a new one of course. “What’s your fucking problem? I was kidding. Jeez. It’s called a sense of humor, why don’t you go buy yourself one?”
Normally I’d have to have said something pretty damn stupid for her to be yelling at me like she was her jaw firm and set as her voice lowered to a growl. But she was in ‘a mood’ so I let it pass. No defending myself when that stake I pestered her to always have was on her bedside table, just within her reach.
She pushed herself up to continue yelling, or growling if I looked at it that way, but got up too fast, obviously still lightheaded from the medication I gave her, and she started to fall off of the bed. I immediately jumped forward and caught her before she could crash face first onto the hardwood floor.
Dennis pushed a chair closer to me so I could use it to leverage myself. Getting caught off guard like that was bad for my focus. I wouldn’t let Cordelia know it, but when those kinds of things happened, I wasn’t the kind of strong and invincible vampire everyone made me out to be. “Thanks, Dennis.”
Once her head was back on the pillow I adjusted the comforters, only for her to flail her arms about and kick them all off. “I’m too hot.”
“Sorry,” I apologize automatically under my breath. I mean it but it was such an automatic reaction that it came off more robotic than sincere as I ignored the strewn comforters and walked around her bed to crack open the window.
“A little more,” she said, hearing a mere small creak and knowing that I only opened it a few inches. I pushed it open higher. “A little more. More. Screw it; just open it all the way, please.”
“I didn’t think please was in your vocabulary,” I slipped up. Strike two. If only I had kept my mouth shut and swallowed the urge to get in my own biting remark I would have kept myself safe from the damage of her strong right arm launching a Kleenex box right at the back of my head. “Ow!”
“It’s what you deserve.” I turned around to face her, to keep a hard expression so that she would assume I wasn’t affected by her comments or her little throwing-of-the-Kleenex box when I saw her trying to sit up again. Hurrying around the bed I tried to steady her, gently aid her back down to a lying position when she slapped my hands away with surprising strength. “For a sick person you still got a lotta force.”
She swung her legs so that the tips of her toes barely touched the floor before leaning forward and burying her face in her hand, rubbing it for a moment and all the while groaning. “You’d think having a head cold and PMSing was enough for me today, but no. I have to get a headache.”
“A headache…wow, I never usually hear you mention one of those unless you have a vision.”
My eyes widened and I helplessly watched her head lunge backwards, crashing into the bed as her body struggled to contain the pain surging through every limb. When I managed to move my own limbs I jumped on the bed beside her and braced her shoulders to keep her from doing any more damage to herself than the visions already were.
A few minutes passed and she finally stopped convulsing and wincing and I finally let out a breath. Even if I didn’t need to breath to survive, holding it until Cordelia was past her vision was something I unconsciously started to do.
She let out a whimper and a small tear formed at the corner of her eye which I wiped away at first sight with the back of my hand. Everything I did from then on was as gentle as possible. As I lifted her up and cradled her head in the crook of my arm, wrapping my other hand around her waist and gently holding her up by the small of her back, I licked my lips and cleared my throat, preparing myself for the inevitable.
“You just had to say it.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, laughing at myself. “Sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize for that,” Cordelia whispered, her voice a little throaty as she sniffed and tried to get out of the ‘vision pain aftermath’ groove. “Everything else was your fault, but not these fucking visions.”
I couldn’t help but make a comment, my tongue poking into my cheek as I focused my eyes on the wall where she had some painting that probably looked lovely to her but just gave me the urge to pee. “Glad to hear your spirit loud and clear.”
She sighed and groaned, rubbing her forehead with the heel of her hand. “God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”
“Don’t apologize,” I softly told her, continuing to hold her, my arms even moving back and forth. I was rocking her in my arms like a baby, which she was obviously not. And neither she nor I cared how close we were, that her heart beat vibrated against my chest and her warm breath ran along my pale, cold hands, sending a shiver up my spine at such a stark contrast between her and me. “If I don’t have to than neither do you.”
Cordelia continued massaging her forehead when I removed my hand from the curve of her back meeting her hips and stopped her from doing more than she should have to. She opened her eyes a little to look at me questioningly, but I wouldn’t stop and give her an explanation, using my strength to my advantage and lifting her body up quiet a few feet from the bed as I maneuvered my body under hers.
Spreading my legs out I lay her gently down between them, her back pressed up between my chest and her hands on my thighs. Silently, I brought both of my hands up to either side of her head and started to knead her skin soothingly in a clockwise motion.
“A little forward,” she mumbled, slumping back into my chest, her body sinking into the bed as my ministrations started to work magic. I tried to fight back a smirk, knowing that I was pushing her over the edge just as I had done earlier when I was massaging her feet.
Cordelia wasn’t about to admit it, but she did have weaknesses and the one high up on the list was getting massaged, anywhere and everywhere.
“Right around my temple,” her voice was barely a whisper and I swallowed hard when the sound of it reached my ears. She could go from pissing me off to driving me crazy in that way in a matter of seconds.
What in god’s name did I ever do to deserve such a wonderful, smart and witty friend?
Beautiful too. Couldn’t forget to call her beautiful, even if she was so much more than that. She’d castrate me on the spot if I forgot to compliment her looks. Though, even if I screwed up sometimes, I’d never mess up that bad.
She let out a soft moan and I had lowered my hands down the side of her face, gradually and never ceasing my clock-work motions. In a matter of seconds I was massaging her tense shoulder-muscles, kneading them and getting out all the knots like a professional.
“I feel like I should be paying you for this,” she managed to form the words, her breath coming in quick and sharp. I was hitting the right spots over and over.
For some reason this small little massaging thing I was doing to Cordelia was getting intimate. To me at least. She was reacting like I expected her to.
But when the over-amount of saliva formed in my mouth, my stomach started to flips and my legs felt numb I started to clue in to the fact that I was enjoying it even more than she was.
“Twenty bucks an hour and I’ll go all night,” I responded, the smirk still on my face as my hands kindly pushed her forward a little so I could do magic on the rest of her back.
“You’re so expensive.”
“Shut up or I’ll make it thirty,” I teased, wrapping my hands around her waist, apparently hitting a ticklish spot when she laughed and slapped my hands away. I put them right back and continued on, massaging all the way down her spine and the small of her back, stopping when there was no more to massage other than her ass.
And I wasn’t about to go there. Nope, I wasn’t going to do that because I wanted to live through the night.
She sighed and looked back at me over her shoulder, a tired grin tugging at the corner of her lips. “You still haven’t gotten me Midol.”
I laughed and looked down at my lap, which was pressed up against her back. I prayed that my body wouldn’t react when she was this close, but knew that if I stayed in the same position along with her, it wouldn’t be long before I embarrassed myself. Pushing myself a foot away, crossing my legs, I cleared my throat. “I’ll go get it if you want.”
Twenty minutes later I was knocking softly on her bedroom door with Midol in my hands. Offering a friendly smile as I opened the door and poked my head inside, I discovered that she was looking out the window.
She’d also managed to change into a pair of flannel pajama pants and one of my white beaters. Probably the one I spilled blood on and she’d offered to wash. She’d obviously gotten it out and didn’t find the time to give it back. Didn’t bother me. I had a million of them.
“You shouldn’t be out of bed,” having not spoken for the last twenty minutes obviously did damage to my voice. When I spoke it was husky and throaty, weak and quiet. She turned and looked at me, raising her eyebrows at my voice. I cleared my throat and showcased the box of Midol. “I went in and out within minutes. It was traffic that kept me.”
“I’m not mad,” she assured me, flashing a bigger smile my way before turning back to look out the window. “Dennis kept me company. Opened up the blinds for me to look out across this view I still, even after all these years, cannot get over.”
“I thought you liked the fact that you lived next to that cousin of the famous guy most about this apartment,” I reminded her, putting the box on her nightstand before walking around the bed and up beside her at the window. She was right, the sight she had from her bedroom was fantastic. The dark sky blanketed sprinkled with stars blanketed L.A. and all the city lights made it seem like he was seeing hundreds of miles of fire.
“He moved out a few months ago,” Cordelia sighed. “Turns out a lot of people had no idea who he was except for me.”
I let out a sigh of my own and step a little closer to the window, a little closer to Cordelia. A glanced over at her a few times, trying to figure out what was so different. Maybe the medicine was working. Or maybe I was just looking at her differently.
Whatever it was, even if she had seemed so great before, now she seemed even better.
“Still feeling hormonal?” I asked, fighting a mischievous smirk.
She elbowed me in the side in return.
“I read the back of the box,” I admit, looking down at my hands as they play with each other. “Apparently Midol helps with the cramps.”
“Isn’t that what I told you?”
“Pretty much. I guess I’m the kind of guy who likes to see it in writing.”
“I don’t even know what to do with that,” Cordelia shook her head and closed the blinds, sighing again. She was sighing too much. One time wasn’t that bothersome, that noticeable, but the second time was enough evidence that something was on her mind. In my own oh-so-logical world of course.
She started to walk away, back to her bed, and I stopped her by grabbing her arm, I pull her bag close enough so that she’s forced to look me in the eye. Maybe a little too close, her slippers pressing up against my boots. “What’s wrong?”
“You didn’t even ask me what my Vision was about…” she pointed out in a quiet voice, obviously affected by their negligence. “And I didn’t tell you about it. Luckily I called Gunn and Wes and they managed to save the girl I saw in my vision.”
“Oops.” Oops! What the fuck did I just say that for?
Cordelia’s reaction was pretty much the same as mine to what I just stupidly blurted out. “Oops? Oh my god, you’ve sunken so low you can’t even brood right.”
“Well, like you said. The girl’s safe.”
She firmed her jaw and placed her hands on her hips. But no words came out of her mouth. The look on her face after a few seconds passed was one of recognition of how she was acting. Melodramatic. “Yeah…I guess you’re right.”
“Good. I mean…it’s good that the girl’s safe and we can just thank god we didn’t screw up worse.”
“Right.” Cordelia was obviously too tired to try and fight, to argue to the point where we didn’t even remember what we were fighting about. The seriousness was gone and she sat down on the bed, running a hand through her hair, laughing. “Your hands are magic, by the way.”
“That reminds me, where’s my thirty bucks?” I walked up to her, my knees hitting hers as I looked down at her as she looked up at me. For a moment we did just that, sitting or standing and just looking. For what, I didn’t know. And I’m sure Cordelia didn’t either. “You need to get some sleep. I’m serious this time.”
“You look tired yourself…” she pointed out, scooting onto the bed and under the covers. She patted the empty space beside her and that was all I needed to sit down and remove my boots before sliding under the covers myself.
At first I just laid on my back, as did Cordelia, staring up at the silence and pondering what to say next. I was tired but I couldn’t close my eyes. I didn’t want the night to end, to stop talking to Cordelia. Even though there’d be another night just like it the next day, and I’d see her at the Hyperion the next day too.
It all seemed so simple and clean-cut but I still just could not close my eyes. Instead I turned on my side and absently placed my hand on Cordelia’s stomach, the comforters only reaching our waists. She didn’t push my hand away so I kept it there.
The warmness of her skin went to the tips of my fingers but no where else. It was enough though to remind me that she’d always be there. She’d always be the warmth in my world of cold and the light in my world of darkness.
It was a cheesy thought but 100 percent truthful nonetheless.
Her eyes were closed but she wasn’t asleep, swallowing hard and thinking quietly before opening her mouth to speak. “Angel…?”
“Yeah?” I lift my head just a little and try not to show how confused I am when she wrapped her hand around the one I had on her stomach and pulled me closer. So close that I had to adjust my arm under the crook of her neck and my chest was pressed against her body. I didn’t even dare consider pushing away.
“Do you ever dream about impossible things?” she asked me, her voice catching in her throat as if she were afraid. All the while as she spoke she turned on her side, facing away from me yet pulling me even closer. I was spooning her by the time she cleared her throat and elaborated. “Things that seem so far away, just out of your reach…like you’re just a step behind in getting to it and the more you try and get closer, the farther away you get.”
I think for a moment, her hair right near my nose so I get a big whiff of her unique, womanly scent. The sweetness of it pervaded my nostrils and I closed my eyes as I buried my face in the crook of her neck, taking in her warmth as safety and comfort. “A lot of things fit into that category.”
“Like what?” she asked quietly, her thumb absently stroking my hand, still holding on as slumber ever so slowly took over.
I take another minute to think, actually losing all control over myself and kissing her neck softly and tenderly. Goosebumps formed all over her skin but she didn’t push me away or say anything. “I have this image of me and you on the beach. Smiling and laughing, getting a kick-ass tan.”
“Kick-ass?” she murmured and I could see the sides of her face rising as she smiled.
“Everyone else would be looking at us jealously, wishing they had our lives…” I mumbled into her neck, my lips grazing along her skin and sending shivers along my own. I was too close but couldn’t pull away. I didn’t even know what was going on anymore and what frightened me the most was how much I liked it, how safe and warm I felt kissing her and holding her like she was my lover. “There’d be kids laughing, building sand castles…I’d fall asleep and you’d recruit a bunch of them to bury me in the sand.”
She laughed a breathy laugh and I inhaled sharply. When I spoke I couldn’t even hide how much being close to her was affecting me, my tone jumping up an octave or two. “We’d be happy.”
Everything I was telling her was complete fact. I’d have the images floating in my mind when I would pretend to brood or would be reading a book. They haunted me with their perfection and simplicity.
“What about you?”
She was quiet for a while after I asked her that, taking the focus off of me.
I try and figure out if she’s sleeping, inquiring her once again. “Cor? What’s the most impossible thing you want more than anything?”
She sighed and gripped my hand. I gripped it back just as tightly. For some reason I knew that, as odd as it sounded, she felt better and worse at that exact moment. “Everything you just said.”