Yank the Chain


AUTHOR: SCORCH (aka JUDI)
SUMMARY: Angelus is all tied up
RATING: R
POSTED: 28 Feb 2005
CATEGORY: Humor
CONTENT/PAIRING: C/Aus
WARNINGS: Language
FICPIC CREDIT: N/A
AUTHOR NOTES: None
STATUS: Complete


Struggling fruitlessly for freedom, Angelus growled and snarled against the metal restraints. They had done a damned good job of chaining him to the bed.

A little too good a job.

No matter how much he tugged and struggled, he couldn’t budge an inch. After a long ten minutes of useless and failed attempts, Angelus gave up with a defeated and unnecessary sigh.

Peering over to the entrance to his bedroom, Angelus smirked inwardly at the sight of the brunette now slowly making her way towards him.

A soft smile graced her face and there was a light within the hazel of her eyes. For a moment, he was captivated by everything that was his seer.

He was gonna have a little fun.

“Hey there, big guy.” Her voice was so perky, it fucking irritated him to death. “Comfy?”

Angelus grit his teeth hard enough to make his jaw crack.

A soft hand patted his head and cheek, forcing him to violently snap away from the tender touch.

God, he was going to torture and then kill her when he got loose. Then, he was going to bring her back to life and do it all over again.

“Aww!” Cordelia cooed and perched herself next to his tensing figure. “Look at you” her eyes roamed over his outfit of leather pants and red shirt. “All dressed up and nowhere to go. I sympathise”

“Fuck off, bitch.” Angelus growled, brown eyes turned fiery through anger and hatred.

Who gave a shit about fun when she was being all sweetness and light?

A bright and beaming smile lit up her face, hazel orbs glowed with his own brand of admiration. “Mmm,” Cordelia purred and trailed a gentle fingertip down his cool cheek. “I love it when you talk like that. It’s soo… Ya know?”

His head craned as far from her as possible. “What?”

“Seeing you here, all tied up and looking so hot… I just can’t help myself.” Her words were gushed and tone had the tiniest amount of dread welling up inside him.

Leaning down to place her face two inches from his, Cordelia took great pleasure in treating him to a bout of very affectionate nuzzling. “I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time, Angelus, but it was never the right moment”

Struggling that little bit more in order to get away from her damned overtones, the soulless vampire ignored the chains and the pain they were causing his skin. “Get the fuck away from me, you cunt”

On hearing that word, Cordelia flung her arms around his neck and cuddled the life out of him. “I knew you loved me like I do you!” She cried directly into his ear. “I’ve loved you for so long Angelus, but never thought you felt the same way”

Love him? She was in love with him?

Was she stone cold fucking crazy?

Recoiling and trying to get out of her grasp, he writhed and wriggled unsuccessfully. “Get the hell away from me!”

“I know you don’t mean that, I know you really want me to stay.” Planting adoring kisses along his jaw and stopping at his mouth, Cordelia gave a smile that positively sickened him. Moving her body on top of his and snuggling against him, she sighed in total contentment and started to stroke his shoulder.

Completely helpless and feeling worse than shit, Angelus momentarily thought about yelling for help.

Seeing his horrified expression and miscontruing it, she made goo-goo eyes and giggled sweetly. “Are you thinking about that night, too?”

Night? There had been no night. There never would be no night to think about.

Not if he could help it, anyway.

The woman was nuts enough to make Drusilla seem sane.

“Angelus, I’m hurt.” Cordelia pouted and tears glazed her eyes. “You don’t remember, do you? I can’t say I’m surprise, of course, not with being sent to hell soon after.” She shrugged. “I guess this means we’ll have to refresh your memory…”

No! He didn’t want refreshing.

He wanted her to take her declarations of love and leave him the hell alone.

She was absolutely bonkers.

And also snuggling into him.

Angelus struggled harder and finally managed to get her off him. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Glaring at him through an expression of heart-wrenching hurt, Cordelia’s pout grew and those shiny tears threatened to spill at any second. “I just wanted you to remember our night”

“You need your head read, woman,” he snarled angrily. “We never had a night”

Her palm connected with his cheek, the slap sounding like a gunshot. “How dare you say that to me!” She yelled, the perfect picture of jilted lover. “You came onto me, remember? In Sunnydale, the cemetery, when Buffy was ill”

He had often thought back to that very night and relished in the scent of her terror. He had been ready to kill her, not make love to her.

“I was gonna kill you, not screw you!”

Cordelia shook her head in denial. “No you weren’t. You were gonna turn me so we could live happily ever after. And you were gonna be my sire and everything. You had it all worked out”

His mouth opened but refused to work.

Happily. Ever. After.

What? Did she think this was some kind of fucking fairy tale with him as Prince wanking Charming?

All traces of anger had left her voice when she next spoke. Resuming her snuggling and cuddling, Cordelia lay a loved-up sigh against his throat as she sidled closer to his body. “I was gonna take us to Venice for our wedding. That’s the most romantic city in the world, ya know? I had dreams of us sitting together in a gondola, with you reciting poetry to me…”

Her voice trailed off in a sense of longing.

Horror didn’t cover his feelings.

Weddings?

Gondolas?

Fucking poetry?

“I would have flowers in my hair and you would be in one of those whatchacallits?”

“WESLEY?!” Angelus yelled as loud as he could. The visuals were making him heave.

A hand clamped over his mouth. “Sssh.” Cordelia hissed. “If I unchain you, we can leave now. Sure, it’s a little late but better late than never. It’s gonna be so perfect Angelus. Just you and me, with the canals and the poetry. We’ll be so in love and it’ll be so… Perfect”

“WESLEY, GET THIS BITCH AWAY FROM ME!”

Instead of her hand, her lips cut his words off this time and her tongue dipped into his mouth.

He gagged and struggled harder.

A sudden sting in his leg was felt right before darkness hit.

*~*~*~*

“Well?” Wesley asked, tentatively helping the seer off the vampire’s body.

“He totally fell for it.” Cordelia wiped her hands and spun a huge, conniving grin at the ex-watcher. “Hook, line and sinker”


…THE END…


 

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