Who’s Stalking Who?


AUTHOR: THE SCORCHSTER (aka JUDI)
SUMMARY: Stuff keeps disappearing and Cordelia and Angel discover who’s to blame.
RATING: R
POSTED: 19 Jul 2003
CATEGORY: HUMOR
CONTENT/PAIRING: C/A
WARNINGS: None listed
FICPIC CREDIT: N/A
AUTHOR NOTES:
1) I’m on a quest to come up with as many fics as my warped mind can come up with, starting with this one!!!
STATUS: Complete


Cordelia stirred her cappuccino, making swirly patterns in the frothy milk and sighing, it had been a little over a week since she had become part demon. Everything was different, colors were brighter, her touch was more sensitive and her hearing had improved. In fact, all her senses had improved including her sense of smell.

Speaking of which, what was that smell?

She scrunched uo her nose, trying to figure out where it was coming from, putting her drink down Cordelia made sure there was no one in the lobby to catch her doing this. She inhaled the air and started to follow that intoxicating scent, it was musky, spicy and most definitely male. The seer tiptoed hurriedly over to the stairs, tracking the scent up them.

“What is that?” she asked herself, inhaling deeper and following it until she realised she was outside Angel’s room. Peeking up and down the corridor, Cordelia inched the door open to make sure Angel wasn’t in.

The coast was clear.

Cordelia knew she must have looked rather silly, walking round sniffing the air but she had to find out where that smell was coming from. She tracked it to where the scent was the strongest in the room and found herself at Angel’s drawers. Pausing for a second before she opened them and was immediately hit by the intoxicating male scent.

“Mmmm Angel smell” she sighed happily as she pulled a sweater of his out, started nuzzling the soft material and caressing her cheek with it. She went to put it back and paused, biting her lower lip.

“It’s just one, little sweater” Cordelia stated to herself, “It’s not like he’s gonna miss it or anything” she quickly slipped the sweater on and hurried down stairs before she got caught.

* * * * * * *

A few days later, Angel came from his room, baby Connor in his arms and frown on his face, “Has anyone seen my dark blue sweater?”

“No, where did you leave it last?” Wesley asked, walking past him concentrating on a book in his hand.

“I swear I left it in my drawer” Angel replied, following Wesley into the office.

“Well I haven’t heard of any sweater-stealing demons Angel, maybe Cordelia put in with the laundry”

“But it wasn’t dirty”

“Ask Cordelia, not me Angel”

“Why would she put it in the laundry if it wasn’t dirty?”

“Hold on, I’ll just use my telepathic ability and ask her for you”

“Funny”

* * * * * * *

Cordelia meant to give the sweater back, but it just smelled so nice it was like a drug to her and she couldn’t sleep without it. “I promise I’ll give it back tomorrow, I swear it” she vowed intensely. The brunette began to fold the day’s laundry before they creased, different materials slid through her fingers, some making her skin crawl and some making her skin come up in goosebump.

Like the silk boxer shorts she had a hold of right now.

Black, silk Calvin Kleins and she knew they were Angel’s boxer shorts.

“No” Cordelia told herself and put the boxers down, “Stop stealing Angel’s clothes. Stop it”

She carried on folding the laundry, specifically setting the silk boxer shorts to one side. Out the corner of her eye, Cordelia kept glancing at the black silk, her hands itching to feel the silky material.

“Just once more and then I’ll put them with the rest of the laundry”

* * * * * * *

Angel placed his clean clothes into the correct drawers, in the correct piles and in the correct order of size. He picked up his underwear and repeated the same style of order, placing his socks with the socks and boxer shorts with the other boxer shorts.

“Where’s my Calvins?” he asked himself as he hunted through the pile he had just arranged, pulling them neatly out and looked for his missing black, silk Calvins. “I like my Calvins” he whined with a pout.

Who did the laundry today? “Cordy, some of my stuff must have gotten mixed up with hers” he concluded and went off in search of Cordelia and his Calvins.

Half way towards the stairs, Angel passed her guest room, the room where he had specially decorated just for her in all her favourite colors. A warm peach for the walls with terracotta skirting boards and a soft, fluffy carpet. A scent passed through the slightly open door and it smelled of peppermint and tea tree, it smelled of Cordelia. Fresh, invigorating and clean, just like her.

He slyly peered up and down the hallway, checking to make sure he wasn’t going to be seen sneaking into her room. Angel pushed the door open and peeked into the room, “Cordy?” he called out, hoping he wouldn’t get an answer.

He didn’t.

The vampire snook into her room, went directly to her bathroom and straight to her lotions on the cabinet. He knew the one almost by instinct now, this would be the second bottle of her peppermint and tea tree foot lotion he had borrowed. Angel picked up the bottle, opened it and inhaled deeply, feeling a sense of satisfaction bring a smile to his face.

“Angel, put the pretty bottle down and leave, Cordy will get suspicious if another bottle of this gets borrowed” Angel told himself as he walked out of her room with the bottle of foot lotion.

* * * * * * * *

“Fred did you borrow my foot lotion?” Cordelia asked, juggling Connor in her arms and smiling at his baby gurgles and spit bubbles.

“No, I use yoghurt, I eat half and use the other half to cleanse my skin. That way I can have a snack while I’m…” Fred began with a proud look on her face, being in Pylea was educational when she thought about it.

“Never mind, that’s the third bottle this month, at first I thought it was me but now I’m sure we have foot lotion-stealing demons”

“Do ya think so? Maybe we should place a public warning or something. Telling people to lock up their beauty products and maybe we should add make-up to that list. Oooh and…”

“Thanks Fred”

“Anytime”
* * * * * * * *
“Cordy” Angel called, stopping her from leaving the hotel, Cordelia turned to face the vampire who’s boxer shorts she was wearing and was barely able to look him in the eye.

“Yeah?”

“You did the laundry today right?”

Oh crap.

“Yeah I did why?” Cordelia asked, putting on her best innocent face as she pulled up his boxer shorts to stop them from sliding down her legs and to stop her from getting caught as his underwear thief.

“Did you see my black silk Calvins?” Angel asked outright as he tilted his head to one side, he inhaled a little, hid his frown then inhaled again. Yes, he could definitely smell his scent on her. What was Cordelia doing wearing his scent?

Cordelia shook her head, wide innocent eyes looking back at the vampire, “No, sorry” hang on. Was that peppermint she could smell. Her nose wrinkled a little, slyly sniffing the scent surrounding Angel strongly. Why did Angel smell like peppermint and tea tree? “I’ve lost some underwear too, last week actually. Some red thongs, can’t find them anywhere. Maybe Fred was right about there being a personal thing-stealing demon. We should get right on it”

“Why do you smell like me?”

“What?”

“Cordy, are you wearing my clothes?”

“No!”

“I can smell me on you”

“Why are you wearing my foot lotion?!”

“N-no… Not much…”

Cordelia narrowed her eyes, “Are you stalking me?” she hissed in annoyance right before her jaw dropped. “Y-you’re the one that stole my panties!”

Angel scowled at her, “You’re wearing my Calvins, if anything you’re the one stalking me. At least I’m not wearing your thong” he shoved his hand into his pocket, covering the red, satin piece of material with his fist. “I can’t believe you’re wearing my underwear, that’s just…”

“You want them back?”

“…”

“Here!” Cordelia huffed and shoved Angel’s boxer shorts down her legs and stepped out of them. “Take them if they’re so precious to you. Now, my thong please”

“I don’t have your thong…”

“I can smell my panties in your pocket and I can smell my foot lotion on you. Give” her hand held out dramatically and making a gimme sign with her fingers.

“Fine” Angel growled, shoving the red panties into her waiting hand, “I don’t want them anyway. I prefer blue”

“Fine”

“Fine”

“I don’t care”

“Neither do I”

Angel and Cordelia both took a huff, turning away from each other with crossed arms and trying to save the embarrassment and self-dignity. A few moments of silence passed before they glanced slyly at each other.

She shuffled on her feet, he fiddled with the sleeve of his shirt, she puffed out a breath of air and he rolled his eyes.

“You wanna swap?”

“Oh yeah!”


…THE END…


 

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