AUTHOR: SCORCHY (aka JUDI)
SUMMARY: My version of ‘Sanctuary’ with a Scorch twist
POSTED: 13 Sep 2003
CATEGORY: Angst for Buffy
FICPIC CREDIT: N/A
1) My first declaration-of-love scene so forgive me if it comes off like mouldy cheese, I tried!!! Was gonna include smut in this part but I wanted to be a meanie!
2) A special thanks to Skippy and Helen for their excellent tips and suggestions on how I can overcome my writing demon.
Kate Lockley dragged Angel through the police station towards her desk, feeling satisfaction at being able to bring some justice to the kind of animal that killed her father. “Give you a cell with a nice view of the morning sun” she told him in a cold-hearted voice.
Buffy Summers walked briskly, directly behind Angel and the detective, pushing her way to stand in between them. “You know what he is?” she demanded, eyes shooting hot fiery accusations at the other blonde woman.
“Yeah” Kate replied, uncaring and ignoring the tiny part of her that still held a smidgen of feeling left.
“That’s murder” Buffy stated angrily, yanking on Angel’s arm to get him to stop walking willingly.
“You can’t kill something that’s already dead” Kate shot back.
“It’s alright…” Angel spoke up calmly, he could escape anytime he wanted but he had a feeling and he wanted to see if he was right about it.
“No it’s not Angel” Buffy yelled angrily at him, “I won’t let you take the fall for her”
Seeing who he thought he would see here, Angel sighed deeply and without looking at the blonde Slayer tugging on his arm, trying to get his attention. “And you won’t have to” he told her, his deep gaze on Faith as she rose and walked towards them.
Kate stood, looking at the face of the girl who had committed murder in shock, she hadn’t been expecting her to just turn up here of her own free will. Buffy was equally thrown for a loop, she looked at the other Slayer, trying to make words come out of her mouth but nothing would.
“I’d like to make a confession” Faith stated simply, though they were the hardest words she ever spoke.
“You should‘ve told me what was going on” Buffy stated in a quiet whisper to Angel, her hands in a relaxed grip on her upper arms, her wavy blonde hair wind swept and ruffled around her face.
“Actually, I didn‘t think it was any of your business” Angel retaliated. “Why did you come here Buffy?” he asked, keeping his tone free of knowing sarcasm, anger and boredom. How many times would he have to have a confrontation with her?
“Not my business?” she frowned angrily at him and held her upper arms tighter.
“I needed more time with Faith. I’m not sure…” Angel’s words got cut off by her.
“You needed…” Buffy swallowed, looked away for a split second before turning wide, accusing eyes back to Angel. “Do you have any idea what it was like for me to see you with her? That you went behind my back…” this time he cut her off, his voice showing the signs of his self control cracking.
“You think this whole thing with Faith was about you?” Angel snapped, pushing away from the wall he’d been leaning on and was now having another square-off with another Slayer. Was this going to be his destiny? Forever bound to dealing with angry Slayers? God, kill him now. “This whole thing was about saving someone’s soul, this is what I do here and as much as you obviously can’t stand it, you are not a part of my life here”
“Besides, wasn’t it your idea we stay away from each other?” he reminded her, watching as her eyes darkened and saw her flinch at her own words being thrown back into her face.
“I came here because you were in danger” Buffy spat out angry that he was being like this with her. There was a time when he wouldn’t even dream of arguing back at her, and now because of Faith he was throwing some stupid words back at her.
“Bullshit Buffy” Angel snapped right back, he wad done with the polite routine and he was bored with her crap. “You came here because you wanted vengeance on Faith, not because of me. I’m in danger every fucking day and you never even call, never mind popping to the neighbourhood to say hello”
“I have a right to vengeance”
“Not in my city you don’t”
He had hurt her, denying her right to fight back at Faith, now he was telling her she didn’t have any right in his city at all. If he could hurt her then she could hurt him. Stepping a little closer to Angel, Buffy stared up at him defiantly. “I have someone in my life now” she told him, watching him carefully “That I love” something flickered in the recesses of his eyes that she couldn’t place. “It‘s not what you and I had, it‘s very new. You what’s new? I trust him. I know him”
Angel repressed his need to go find some aspirin, it was the same damn story every time Buffy got a new boy. She would feed him the details and expect a reaction out of him, usually she would get encouragement with underlying subtext filled with jealousy. Only nothing about the last few weeks had been usual.
“You know what?” he sighed, rubbing his face a little not having slept much in the last two days with the whole Faith thing, he was feeling a little wiped. He was too tired to hide or be on the defensive with her or anyone else. “You’re really sounding like a broken record, you know that? Every time you get a new boy toy, you get all eager to play share-share with the details”
He stepped forwards and closer to Buffy, looking down at her face which was filled with wary, confusion and silent challenges. “I think it’s my turn to play share-share with the details of my great, new life”
“I have someone in my life too” Angel told her, his voice calm and even, no sign of anger at all in his throaty voice. Buffy’s lips parted in shock at his words, her eyes took in the way his had suddenly sparked with fire. “That I love” he used her own words against her. “It’s nothing like what you and I had, it’s very new. You know what makes it new?” he paused again, only continuing when he was sure he had her undivided attention.
“Every part of me loves her, that’s what’s new. I know and trust her with who and what I am; I live everyday for her and I’m not ashamed of who and what I am. That’s what’s really new. I never thought I could move on, I thought it would cut me up inside seeing you but it doesn’t. That’s new too ” Angel stepped away from her, the look of desperate shock on her face not really causing him to feel any pity. There was one final thing.
“The curse is gone Buffy” he leaned down to whisper in her ear, “No soul worries”
To much in shock, Buffy could barely breathe as she took unsteady steps away from the vampire. No, he had to be lying about this, he was only saying this because he thought it was what she needed, wanted to hear. He couldn’t be more wrong. This wasn’t what she wanted or needed to hear, Angel was hers and he was supposed to be hers, he wasn’t supposed to move on.
“Go home Buffy, you aren’t needed here” Angel told her simply, having had enough. There was somebody waiting for him at her house, probably out of her mind with worry and crazy thoughts.
Buffy walked numbly towards the steps that would take her outside, picking up her jacket in a limp grip, she turned to look at Angel who was watching her with obsidian, unreadable eyes. “See? Faith wins again”
“I’m not talking about Faith, Buffy” Angel dug the knife in a little deeper.
The light dawned, her grip on her jacket became so tight her knuckles turned white, she opened her mouth to say something but he stopped her attempt.
“Don’t even think of bitching about Cordelia when she isn’t here to defend herself, Buffy. I won’t let you do that” Angel warned. The vampire watched silently as the Slayer walked slowly and unsteadily down the stairs.
Wesley Wyndham-Price had purposely waited until their heated discussion was over and done with when he heard Angel speak of his relationship with his seer, Cordelia. The ex-Watcher had no idea this had been going on nor any idea how long it had been going on. But he was determined to find out now, after he told Angel he did the right thing bringing Faith to jail.
Having not heard Angel’s whispered words about no curse, Wesley now found sudden and rapidly growing concerns about souls and certain gypsy curses rising in his chest. Slowly, he approached the steadfast vampire who suddenly turned to face him, making him jump a mile.
“Uhhh!” Wesley’s yelped, jumped and clutched his now wildly beating heart in his chest.
Smirking at the suddenly induced fear he caused, Angel raised an eyebrow at the Englishman, amused to practically hear the rattling of the ribcage. Buffy, now forgotten about. “Yeah?” he asked impatiently.
Glaring up at the vampire, Wesley continued to pet his heart, trying to get the rhythm back to normal. “You did the right thing Angel, bringing Faith here” he said.
“I didn’t” Angel replied with a hint of a smile on his face, though he almost had bags under his eyes, the hypnotic obsidian showed pride at Faith’s self-saving.
“I hope she’s strong enough to make it through” Wesley said after a few moments of silent reverie between himself and the vampire.
“Time will tell, Wes ol’ boy” Angel responded as they both watched Kate take a willing Faith down towards the holding cells. Every time he helped save someone, it felt like he was saving himself and it felt good.
Gathering up the courage, Wesley broached the new cause for worry with the vampire. “What you said to Buffy about Cordelia?” he asked point blank.
Eyes turning defensive, arms crossing over his chest and expression hardening, Angel simply looked at Wesley. “Yes, problem?” he asked sharply.
“Not to put a damper on your relationship with her, Angel” the Englishman assured quickly, not really in the mood or wanting to fight with his friend, colleague and rather strong, formerly vicious vampire. “But do forgive my worry. After recent events concerning your vampire side, you can not blame me for being cautious. What about Angelus? What about your curse and soul?”
Stilling instantly and looking at the ex-Watcher. “What soul?”
Time stood still for Wesley as the vampire spoke those words. Words that he feared since the confrontation with Angelus a few weeks ago and words he really never wanted hear spoken, especially within such a close proximately like this. His head was spinning, his heart began to race and he raised a hand to prevent the vampire from speaking anymore.
“What exactly do you mean? What soul?” Wesley asked, uncertainty clearly visible in the Englishman’s blue eyes as he looked at Angel. He still wasn’t sure if he heard right.
“I mean exactly that, I don’t have a soul Wes” the vampire replied, watching with an unwavering and amused gaze. He couldn’t miss the sudden burst of extra fear emanating from the man in front of him and as nice as it was, he hadn’t done anything to cause the fear.
“Hold on just a moment” Wesley snapped, backing up one or two paces to place some distance between himself and the vampire he thought was Angel. “Have you had sex with Cordelia?” he demanded, he didn’t think Cordelia would let it get that far, knowing the danger of Angelus first hand.
“No,” Angelus admitted, stuffing his hands into his pockets and looking at his employer. “Technically, my soul never came back after the Doximol escapade” he explained the questioning in Wesley’s eyes. “I was planning to kill you both” he admitted.
“Comforting to know” Wesley responded dryly, not taking his gaze off of Angelus for a single second, trying to do the impossible and predict what the vampire would do next. “What stopped you from killing Cordelia and I? You’ve had any ample opportunities” he wondered if the vampire was lying and was simply just stalling, waiting for the perfect time to arise.
“I know, I was going to wait and plan everything with precision” Angelus replied honestly, “Then when I went to Cordelia’s with every intention of turning her first, she had vision and it would have been suspicious if I didn’t kill the bad guy”
“If you had turned her quickly, there would have been no need to fight the vision” Wesley pointed out, backing up a little more. “Or are you planning to kill me first? Do it here and now?”
“No Wes, so can stand still and quit with the fear, it’s making me ansty” Angelus told him with a roll of his eyes.
“Forgive me but fear is a natural reaction when faced with a vicious vampire” Wesley snapped in defense.
“I’m more than that Watcher” Angelus growled slightly, “Haven’t I proved that to you? Am I not good enough because I don’t have a soul?”
“I’m terribly sorry if I seem to be taking the offensive here, but you and good do not belong in the same sentence” Wesley answered, sarcastically polite with his words as he forced himself not to shy away from the building rage behind the vampire’s gaze. He was not going to allow this soulless vampire to walk out of here; he was not going to hand him another opportunity to hurt Cordelia. If push came to shove, she maybe in a holding cell but Faith was within reach.
Angelus got in the other man’s face, “I’m sick and tired of being condemned” he said in a low voice, the calmness belying the threatening manner and body language. “I was going to kill you both, yeah I’ll admit it but I didn’t” he continued, “I could’ve done a lot of damage if I turned a Slayer but I didn’t. I could have snapped Buffy’s neck like a twig if I wanted but again I didn’t”
Wesley locked eyes with the vampire, no matter how Angelus put things and no matter what he said, he couldn’t be trusted. He was the complete demonic version of his friend, without a soul to connect him to humanity and without a soul to lock-down his deadly instincts. “What stopped you?” he asked, “And don’t tell me you had a change of heart”
“What if I did?” Angelus retaliated easily, “What if I just woke up one morning, deciding killing would be a waste of time?”
“Then you would be lying” Wesley replied instantly and honestly, all the while this confrontation was going on, the cogs in his brain were working overtime trying to form some sort of plan to deal with this dangerous situation.
“And you’d be right” Angelus agreed just as honestly, “I didn’t have a change of heart and I didn’t turn over a new leaf. I’m still a vampire” he told Wesley. “I still drink blood, I still want to hunt and kill, that won’t change. I don’t care about the Powers and the righteous, holy mission they had me on, I’m not their little puppet”
The vampire looked at the now silent human in front of him, obviously Wesley hadn’t been expecting him to be so honest. “If I wanted to walk out of here right now and go to Cordelia’s, you wouldn’t be able to stop me because I can do anything I choose to do. I thought you’d be glad I haven’t killed you, not standing here questioning my motives”
“What are your motives Angelus?” Wesley used the name for the first time and it made him shudder inside. He was facing the world’s nightmare, looking him right in the eye and it was taking all his willpower not to run away and hide. Part of the reason he stood his ground was he was sure the vampire would go straight to Cordelia’s and he sure as hell didn’t trust the demon in front of him.
Angelus stood silently, contemplating his answer for a few moments and regarded the wary man before shattering the silence. “I can be more without my soul and I choose to be more”
“And that’s the only reason? Why do you suddenly want to be more than a killer? It was mere weeks ago, you personally threatened the lives of Cordelia, Ms. Lowell and myself?”
“My soul never returned after the drugs wore off, I played the part of guilty vamp well don’tcha think?” Angelus smirked at the flash of guilt across Wesley’s face that he hadn’t known any different. “Every time Cordelia got a vision, I thought more and more about the fact I was one of the things that gave her a vision. I was nothing more than something to be disposed of, something that she wanted to be rid of. Something that made her cry at night and if a thing like me caused a vision, then she would be disgusted by the sight of me. I don’t want to cause visions, I’m not like those other demons Wes”
“For Cordelia? You’re playing good cop for Cordelia?” Wesley asked with a frown of confusion, he didn’t really follow what Angelus was trying to tell him; all he gathered was the vampire saw himself, what he had become, through the seer’s visions and didn’t like what he saw.
Angelus stared at Wesley, “Partly,” he admitted “Like everything, it all starts with girl, doesn’t it?” he smirked wryly at the flash of agreement on the Englishman’s face. “Even when I was killing I wasn’t just a vampire Wes, I was more than that. That’s how it started, with her, now she’s not the only reason” the truth of his words were acknowledged in the form of a nod from the man.
“What you told Buffy about you and Cordelia, is that true?” Wesley repeated his earlier question, though he was still nowhere near satisfied by the vampire’s answer he doubted he was going to get the real reason behind this charade.
“Yes Wes, Cordelia and I are together” Angelus immediately went back into a defensive stance, waiting for whatever Wesley might say or accuse him of.
“Does she know about your lack of soul?” Wesley asked there would be hell to pay if she did and hadn’t bothered to let him in on it. As it was, he was planning to have serious words with that girl in the morning, the point wasn’t the fact of the lack of soul, the point was she knew the dangers of getting involved with Angel and Angelus was now glaring at him, expression darkening.
“No, and you won’t tell her Watcher” Angelus threatened lowly, “I’m going to tell her when she’s ready to hear the truth”
“Then what you said to Buffy is a lie” Wesley responded, “You told her that Cordelia knows who and what you are, but she doesn’t. She’s in the dark just as much as I was, if you don’t tell her Angelus, then I will. She has a right to know about this”
“I said I’ll tell her when she’s ready to hear the truth” Angelus growled at him, “You say you overheard my confrontation with Buffy, then you would have heard me say every part of me loves Cordelia. Well I do and I will tell her when I feel she’s ready. Don’t think of ruining this for me Watcher”
“I won’t have to, you’ll do that well enough without my help Angelus” Wesley shot back honestly. All hell would break loose when Cordelia found out about this. Unless… “You are planning on telling her? Or are you planning to keep this fact from her, hoping she’ll never know?”
“I’ve already said I’m going to tell her, but only when she’s ready to hear and ready to deal with it. I’ll make sure she won’t be afraid of me when I tell her” Angelus told him certainly and surely. “She’ll accept me the way I am, I know she will”
“Who on Earth are you trying to convince?” Wesley asked incredulously, “After the way you condemned her, what makes you so sure she won’t throw all this back in your face? What will you do if Cordelia doesn’t want to risk her life by dealing in romantic association with you?”
“I’m already with her Wes, she told me she loves me and I believe her, my soul won’t make any difference. I can still take care of her and I’ll make sure she knows that” the truth was, Angelus didn’t want think about what he would do if Cordelia didn’t take to him without his soul. But she did say she loved all of him right? That included the demon aspect of him, that included what remained of the man and that included who he was completely.
“Then go ahead and tell her Angelus” Wesley spoke the invitation, “But I am coming with you, and if you so much as show the first sign of aggression, I shall be forced to…”
“Wes, just stop okay? Threats really bore me and they piss me off” Angelus cut him off, not letting him finish his threat.
“This is no joke I am serious in my warning. I far from trust you Angelus”
Pacing in her apartment, Cordelia wrapped her lilac blanket tighter around her shoulders, trying to keep the worrying chill from her body. She didn’t have any idea about anything that had happened that night, Angel had forced her to stay inside her apartment and after a very long, drawn out and threatening lecture, she had agreed.
“Why hasn’t he or Wes called?” she asked, voicing her worries aloud to Dennis and she continued her pacing. “What the hell is going on?” her words were broke off when she sneezed slightly, sniffling “Damn cold”
“They’ve been gone all day” she stated with worried glances around her apartment, expecting to see something reassuring or her cell or home phone to ring. Anything to give her some news, but on the other hand no news is good news, right? Cordelia nibbled on the tip of her index finger, pacing back and forth like she had done for the last few hours in between short, resty sit-downs.
“GAAHH!” Cordelia screeched loudly when a banging on her door interrupted her worried pacing. Striding purposely towards her door, remembering to ask who it was before opening it, if it was Angel and she didn’t ask, she’d get another longer lecture and nobody wanted one of those. “Who is it?” she asked loudly through the door, hoping either Wesley or Angel would answer.
“It’s us Cordelia, Angel and I” Wesley’s voice replied through the door, glaring at Angelus when he used the name Angel. He hated to lie to Cordelia but when one had a vampire daring you to go against his wishes, then lying becomes a necessity.
Relief almost caused her to collapse, the brunette swung the door open to face Angel and Wesley, not noticing the looks they kept sending to each other. “Oh thank God you’re both alright, I was worried!” she accused sharply even as she flung her arms around the vampire’s neck in a short, affectionate hug and pressed a secret kiss on his neck. She pulled away after he returned her affection with an acknowledging squeeze.
“I beg your pardon” Wesley replied dryly and focusing his eyes on anything but Angelus and Cordelia. “We only had enough time to take care of a rogue Slayer, so sorry we couldn’t call to let you know we’d be late for dinner”
“It’s not funny” Cordelia snapped, moving away from the door to let them both in, “Even if you were dying, you could still find the time to call. We should have one of those little code systems, where one ring means we’re knocking at death’s door, bury me next Tuesday, two rings mean I’m alive but in the middle of something and three rings means pick up, I’m free to talk”
When she finished her little speech, she finally noticed Wesley’s expression and the tranquilizer gun in his hand, when she looked at Angel, his face was unreadable and in his eyes shone nothing. “What?” Cordelia asked, a feeling of wrongness crept up on her slowly, her spine stiffened and she prepared herself for whatever would be said.
“What’s wrong?” she asked when silence was her answer. Looking to Angel with eyes now demanding to filled in on whatever had gone down. “Angel?”
“I’m not Angel”
“I’m not Angel”
“I’m sorry what?” Cordelia blinked and turned her eyes from Wesley holding the tranquiller gun to the mumbling vampire next to him. “For a minute there I thought you said you weren’t Angel”
“I did say I wasn’t Angel” Angelus replied, looking her directly in the eyes and forced himself not to shrink away from whatever version of hell was coming his way. He waited for her fear to pierce the air, he waited for her yelling to sting his ears and he waited for the inevitable shouts for him to get the hell away from her.
So why was she laughing?
A silvery laughter poured from Cordelia, “If you’re not Angel then who are you? Mister Stay Puft? You look like Angel and you’re acting like Angel so you must be Angel” she pointed out.
Wesley looked to Angelus, eagerly awaiting his response to that statement, his finger remaining on the trigger of the gun.
“I don’t have a soul Cordelia, I’m not Angel” Angelus repeated with a little more explanation as he continued to hold her gaze steady and locked on his. Obsidian orbs wide and devouring, he took in her disbelief and, was that worry? He wouldn’t be surprised if she was questioning his sanity right about now.
“Did you hit your head? Did Faith hit your head?” Cordelia asked bluntly, not hiding that she was in fact questioning his sanity. She went to move towards the vampire to check for injuries when Wesley moved to hold her back. Looking up at the ex-watcher, she blinked and looked back at Angel.
“No, I didn’t hurt my head” Angelus told her, his gaze now drawn to where Wesley’s hand lay restraining on her arm. “Wes…”
Wesley let go, clutching the tranquilliser gun tighter in his other hand.
“How can you not have your soul?” Cordelia deadpanned, “You haven’t experienced any moments of perfect happiness… Have you?” now she was accusing him of adultery it seemed.
“No, I haven’t been happy” Angelus affirmed his fidelity then saw how she mistook his words.
“So you’re not happy?” she asked, sounding hurt as the main topic of conversation got put aside in favour of this new, more dangerous topic. “Are you trying to tell me” a pause “That you’ve never been the least bit happy?”
“That’s not what I’m say…” Angelus quickly responded, throwing a glance towards Wesley and conveying a silent plea for help. The almost unseen shrug from the man came complete with a tiny smile filled with mocking apologies and Angelus was left to get himself out of the mess he made.
“Then what are you trying to say hmm?” Cordelia asked, the soft thud-thud-thud sound was her foot against the carpeted flooring. “That I’m not happiness-inducing girl?”
“If you shut up, I might be able to get a word in edgewise” Angelus growled, watching with some satisfaction when her jaw dropped ever so slightly. The vampire rubbed his own jaw with a hand for a single second before stopping more of her words with the same hand. “I’ve told you but you don’t seem to listen. I don’t have a soul, it never came back after the Doximol and Rebecca Lowell”
“Oh, and I suppose she was the one who induced happiness” Cordelia mimicked a snaky, high-pitched voice. “Never mind the girl who you’ve been secretly dating for weeks now, lets think of the little slut who tried to get you in an exchange of bodily fluids”
“I said shut up, and she didn’t want to screw me… Okay, so she did” Angelus corrected off Cordelia’s knowing look. “Don’t you even care that I don’t have a soul?” he practically yelled at her.
“Don’t yell at me, we’ll get to your lack of soul in a minute” she snapped, “Right after you tell me who’s panties you lost it in cus it certainly isn’t in mine”
“I didn’t lost it in anyone’s panties” the vampire growled in response and took a slightly menacingly step forward towards her. “So if you shut the fuck up…”
“You’re telling me to shut up?!” she gasped in shock.
“Yeah so why won’t you do it? All I’ve gotten since I’ve come home is yelling and yapping, how I’ve managed to restrain myself from killing you is anybody’s guess”
Cordelia’s jaw dropped a little further, her eyes darkened, her arms became folded over her chest and her shoulders squared up. Chin raised defiantly, she silently dared him to talk like that to her again.
Not in the least bit intimidated by her, Angelus got in her space and effectively popping her bubble, he drew his own arms over his chest so they were equal in their show of defiance. He spoke slowly, clearly with each word accompanied with punctuated growls.
“I. Don’t. Have. A. Soul”
“Who. Did. You. Lose. It. Too?” Cordelia’s own words held a growl.
“It never returned after the Doximol wore off”
Cordelia’s stormy eyes narrowed so very dangerously as she prepared to respond. “If you say you don’t have a soul then that means you’re Angelus. Angelus is lying, mean bully and that means you’re lying. If you’re lying then that means you lost your soul in some little, blonde floozy’s pants”
“I didn’t sleep with Buffy, she came for Faith…” oh shit! Angelus inwardly flinched and kicked his own balls, he somehow got the feeling it would be less painful than what was obviously coming to him.
“Well done!” Wesley muttered just loud enough for the vampire to hear.
“Buffy came here?” Cordelia asked quietly, “She’s the little, blonde floozy? Oooh! You are sooo dead!” she growled. Turning to Wesley, she snapped her hand out and wrapped it around the tranquillizer gun and tugged. “Gimme that thing, I wanna shoot the lying, cheating undead asswipe!”
“Cordelia!” Wesley tugged back on the gun, trying to wrestle it out of her grip. “I think you should know…”
“Who are you to tell me what I should and shouldn’t know? Gimme the gun!”
“Cordelia!” Angelus joined in, moving to get her away from the tranquilliser gun and Wesley.
“Don’t touch me! You’ve probably got some contagious disease! I don’t know where you’ve been, I don’t wanna know where you’ve been!” Cordelia yelled at him, still frantically tugging on the gun.
“Will you just calm the fuck down?” Angelus barked at her, his and Wesley’s hands both trying to get a hold of the tranquilliser gun and take control of the out-of-hand situation. Cordelia used her free hand to slap Angelus’ hand and kicked him in the shin, causing him to hop on the spot.
“You insufferable brat!” he hissed, leaning over to rub his injured shin.
“You cheating vampire” she hissed back.
“Cordelia, stop it!” Wesley yelped now using both hands to get a hold of the gun, “Let go”
“No, I’m gonna shoot his balls before I crush em” Cordelia growled and yanked once more on the gun. Her finger caught the trigger, a small whooshing sound pierced the arguing and she stood still when she realised she had fired the gun.
Angelus, Cordelia and Wesley all looked down towards the floor and saw the needle lodged in the Englishman’s foot.
“Bloody priceless” Wesley managed to say before his eyes crossed and he began to fall limply to the floor. Angelus caught him before his body hit the floor in a dead weight, Cordelia watched and bit her lip as the vampire laid the ex-watcher out on her couch. Both vampire and girl looked down at the passed out man in silence, she chewed on her lip and gave Angelus an accusing sideways glance.
“Look what you did!” she snapped at him.
“Me? You were the one who pulled the trigger” he snapped right back “I was trying to get you to let go but like always, you never listen to a word I say!”
“I…” Cordelia began her defence.
“I-I-I what?” Angelus stalked up to her, “It’s true, I’ve been here for the past ten minutes telling you I don’t have a soul and all you can think of to do is accuse me of screwing the Slayer. Tell me Cordelia, don’t you think you’re enough for me?”
She drew in a sharp breath but he continued to talk and he started to pace. “I’ve been patient, waiting for the right time to tell you. I wanted to wait a little longer, until you wouldn’t be afraid of me but now I’m like ‘what the hell was I thinking?’”
Cordelia gasped in out rage, “You’re the one trying to tell me that you don’t have a soul. If anyone should be thinking ‘What the hell was I thinking?’ It‘s me!”
“Can we get back to the subject?” Angelus half yelled at her, frustration pouring from his being. “I don’t have a soul!” he repeated for the umpteenth time since getting to Cordelia’s apartment.
“So you keep saying! If you didn’t sleep with Buffy, which little, blonde floozy did you sleep with? If you say crazy cop lady…”
“I didn’t sleep with any floozy Cordelia, the only floozy I want to sleep with is you! I‘m in love with you!” Angelus really did yell at her this time and his angered words caused her retaliation to lodge in her throat. “I can not believe I fell in love with you!”
“What the hell is wrong with me?!” she demanded, his words not really registering in her head properly, probably because her head was swimming with the no soul confession. If he really was telling the truth then that meant she had been macking on the evil half of her boss! Sure, the secretary-boss thing was kind of kinky, but when it was with the evil version of her boss, the kink grew into a curl!
“What’s wrong with you? What wrong with you?” Angelus asked, his voice getting louder the more this went on between them. “I think you should be asking what’s right with you!”
“You-you…” Cordelia felt her jaw drop like a ton of bricks and hit the floor with a thud. “If there was nothing right about me then you wouldn’t be in love with me” she countered with her own loud voice. “What you should be asking is why the hell I would be in love with the likes of a lying vampire like you! Because I sure as hell can’t work that one out”
“I didn’t lie!” he yelled back at her “I never slept with anybody, not even you I might add”
“So you never slept with anybody, big whoop!” Cordelia flung her hands high in the air to exaggerate her words. “You still lied about who the hell you were”
“It doesn’t matter because you’re in love with me” Angelus yelled right back at her, “You’re in love with me Cordelia” with those words, all his anger seemed to deflate, leaving him breathing hard and sharply as he looked at her. His low, husky voice a shocking contrast to the fiery one used up to now as he repeated those words to her. “You’re in love with me, Angelus” he stressed his name.
Angelus saw Cordelia search his eyes and expression for something, probably deceit and signs of lying or trickery. “No lies or tricks,” he told her “I love you and you love me. Nothing else matters”
“It does matter, you never told me. You let me believe you had a soul, why?” she asked, her own voice now as soft as his and Cordelia continued to study his expression intently.
“At first I wanted to plan everything, get every detail perfect then go in for the kill” Angelus told her honestly and openly. “But I was always more than a simple vampire Cordelia, even before I got my soul the first time. I can be what you need, I am what you need and I’m definitely what you want”
“You said I was honest, not relaxing to be around but I was honest” he reminded her “Are you going to be honest about what you want or are you going to deny yourself?”
Should she give him up? Yes, the truth is she definitely should. Would she give him up? Probably not. Would she give up on him? Last time she checked, there wasn’t a chance in hell. Could she give him up? Again, no chance in hell.
“Are you?” Angelus pressed again when she stayed silent.
“You haven’t tried to kill me, granted you probably had things worked out in that head of yours but you didn’t go through with it. That I can at least be grateful for and you didn’t even punch Wes, that really deserves some brownie points too” Cordelia responded. “But Angelus, if the name matters all that much…”
“Not when you say it” Angelus interjected with a tiny smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth, he knew she loved him and that was all that really mattered.
“What about my visions and helping the helpless? Are you still going to do that?” she asked, could he do that? If he loved her, then would he do that for her?
“Haven’t I been doing exactly that?” he retaliated easily.
“I guess you have” Cordelia agreed, he had been fighting her Technicolor headaches but he still lied to her. “Is there anything else you want to tell me?”
“No, that’s the big secret” Angelus responded, wisely keeping quiet about the fact about his things that would be moved in tomorrow.
Nodding, she pursed her lips and regarded him silently. “You’re in love with me huh?”
“Yeah, and you’re in love with me” he shot back, not sure if he should expect more yelling and screaming.
“I guess I could give you a chance, but you have some serious making up to do buster and you have to apologise to Wes for shooting him” Cordelia told him righteously. “I know you didn’t mean to do it, and that it was an accident but you still need to say you’re sorry”
“I didn’t shoot Wes Cordelia, you did” his voice showed signs of rising again and hands began to clench.
“It’s okay, he’ll understand it was an accident, hell with half the weapons you play with I’m surprised it hasn’t happened before now” she contradicted his statement defending his innocence. Technically, it was Angelus fault, if he hadn’t used his vampire strength when she was trying to get the gun, Wesley would never have gotten shot.
“You shot him, not me!”
A demanding kiss cut off the rest of her words, Angelus took advantage of her shock-parted lips and flicked his cool tongue across her warmer one. Cordelia’s eyes fluttered before drifting shut, a soft sigh escaped as the vampire tilted her head to one side, deepening his kiss. The pressure from his mouth on hers was commanding but not forceful, he took control but still gave her freedom.
Expert lips covered her glossy ones, large male hands sliding through her hair to touch the long, satin tresses while his thumbs caressed the apples of her cheeks. Cordelia reacted with instinct, feeling her smooth hands glide under his jacket to wrap around his neck, well-kept nails tickling the nape. A masculine half-purr half-moan told her he was enjoying this as much as she was, Angelus continued to stimulate her with a lovers’ kiss.
Pulling back with reluctance, Cordelia looked up to him licking her lips and tasting him with a hungered passion. “Wes’ll be out for a while right?” she asked.
“Not nearly long enough sweetheart, how bout we leave the Watcher here and go to my place for the night?” Angelus suggested in a low, husky and melodious voice that almost had her in a hypnotic trance filled with erotic fantasies.
She wanted to, but she had to tell him something first and she wanted to be honest about it too. “I know you said you’re in love with me an all. I’m trusting you with my life, how do I know I won’t wake up dead?” she asked, her typical logic coming forward.
Angelus made her look deep into him, past the demon and let her see part of the man still inside him. “I’m asking you to trust me, if you don’t trust me then you can’t love me”
Nodding in understanding of his words, Cordelia reached down and took his hand in hers. “I need a little time to fully trust you and if you love me then you’ll understand that. But I love you, you know me better than anyone Angel-us, that’s going to take some getting used to…”
“Don’t get used to it, after tonight the only thing you’re gonna be calling me is God”
…TO BE CONTINUED…
THIS STORY APPEARS TO BE UNFINISHED