The Trouble with Cordy

SUMMARY: A short series depicting the Life and Times of Liam Angel.
POSTED: 16 Nov 2005
WARNINGS: None Listed
1) This was originally a series for another fandom and since I loved writing it so much, I had to turn it into a C/A. Enjoy!
STATUS: Incomplete

Liam scowled, or as much as a seven year old could, and tried to block out the irritating racket coming from the porch. Ever since his mother’s neighbour brought that thing home, it had been nothing but cry, cry, wail, wail. It was like a siren that never stopped.

Was it too much to ask to build his fortress and command his troops in peace?

True, he wasn’t the quietest kid around, but he was nothing compared to that.

“Liam, honey,” he cringed when his mother called for him. “Come meet your new neighbour.”

How could a person meet a baby? Still, he played the dutiful son and dropped his Commander into the makeshift moat, and stood. He really didn’t want to go over there, but he really didn’t want to be yelled at by his mother either. Liam slowly trudged towards the two women and the crying thing, looking for the world like a soldier ready to meet his maker.

“Say hello to Cordelia,” his mother cooed in a voice that had his scowl deepening.

How could you say hello to a baby? They couldn’t understand any word, much less hello. Again, Liam dutifully responded, but wasn’t happy about it. “Hi Cordelia.”

The thing stopped crying and he breathed a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, that relief was cut short as it started wailing again and chubby arms began wafting around. He frowned at it’s scrunched up face and hoped he hadn’t been like that. Unlikely, Liam thought, there was no way he’d been that annoying.

“Would you like to hold her?” Mrs Chase asked in between baby howls.

He really didn’t.

“Oh, are you sure?” His mother glanced at first the baby, and then at her son.

“Of course.” Mrs Chase arranged the yelling thing around until she was able to hand her over to a highly disgruntled Liam. “You look like a strong buhh… Young man. Just mind her head.”

Man? Liam stood a little taller and looked a little prouder. He could put up with a few moments of baby screams if it meant he was a man. Immediately, the thing stopped crying and shoved those chubby arms up into his face.

“That is too precious!” His mother cooed and smoothed down a strand of shoulder length hair. “Aww…”

“Gah buh!” The baby gurgled nonsense in his ear. “Gah buh!”

Mrs Chase beamed. “I think she likes you.”

Yeah well, it wasn’t mutual.

“What do you think of her?” Mrs Chase carried on oohing and ahhing over the vision in front of her. “She’s a little chubby.”

“She’s a bit fat.” Liam answered and earned himself a whack on the head. “Ow, mom!”

Mrs Chase laughed. “That’s alright. She’ll grow out of it.”

Liam tried to tilt his head back and away from grabbing hands, but wasn’t fast enough. The baby trapped a fistful of dark brown hair and promptly shoved it into her mouth and choked on it.

Apparently, babies were not only good for crying, but they were pretty dense too.

“Gah buh!” She cried happily and continued to drool over Liam’s hair.

And that was one of Liam Angel’s many dealings with Cordelia Chase.

The first year…

“Ah!” Cordelia wailed and waved her arms in an attempt to get him to pick her up. “Mah Gah!”

“Yeah, whatever.” Liam sniffed and wiped his nose with his sleeve. “You will learn to walk.” He sternly said and pointed a finger. “You can’t crawl around all the time.”

Her lower lip started to wobble and fat tears welled up in her eyes as another, less pleasant wail threatened. Apparently, she didn’t like being shouted at.

Liam immediately looked over to catch his mother watching him with a raised eyebrow. He waved back. Nothing to see here, he thought in panic, I’m being a very good man.

During this time, Cordelia had crawled her way to him and tugged on his pant leg. Liam yelped in shock, “Don’t do that.” He watched as she sat back and giggled, once again arms wafting around.

“Go on, crawl back to your spot.” It was useless. She was useless. She never listened or understood a word he said. He sighed in frustration and bent to pick her up.

“Mah guh guh!” Cordelia immediately went for his hair.

“No,” Liam craned his head away from her grabbing hand. “Bad. Bad Cordy.” Quickly, he set her down on wobbly legs and stepped back a few steps. “Walk to me.”

Cordelia dutifully plopped down on her rear and gurgled happily into a wet fist. He slapped his forehead and groaned. Would she ever learn? He’d have to use bribery. He truly hated doing this, but it had to be done.

Liam grabbed a lock of his hair and wiggled it around. As expected, her face lit up and those arms yet again called for attention. “See this?” He waved his hair enticingly.

“Ah mee!”

“Yeah, yeah. Ah you.” Liam muttered. “You want it, come and get it.”

Uncertainly, Cordelia stood on very shaky legs and never once took her eyes off her prize. She took a tumbling step forward and gasped. It was like she had just discovered a brand new toy. She clapped her hands in glee and took another step closer to her goal, thoroughly entertaining herself.

“Gah mah guh?”

Liam wasn’t gonna pretend to know what she was saying. He shrugged. Maybe that’d be her next lesson. Word pronunciation and how too speak properly. Before he could think up any kind of workable plan, the patio door behind him opened and her father came out.

“She’s walking?” He called his wife and Mrs Angel over. “Look! She’s walking! Our Cordy’s walking!” The man’s gaze went to Liam and he felt like a flea.

“Liam,” his mother questioned, “Did you do this?”

“Oh,” Mrs Chase ruffled his hair and laughed when he shied away. “I thought she’d be crawling forever. You’re such a good young man, and so good with her.”

He shrugged and tried to fix his hair. What was it with Chase women and his hair? “She had to learn sometime, right?” Then he scratched the back of his head.

Cordelia toddled forward and lost her footing, sprawling onto the grass spread eagle. Suddenly, a loud wail split the air and destroyed the happy time. She bawled, screamed, and cried, throwing a superior tantrum at being denied her treat.

Liam winced, “Maybe she should take a break.”

He picked her up and her sobbing stopped like magic, then his hair once again found it’s way into her mouth. “Yum yum!” Words could wait until he’d taught her not to eat hair, especially not his. He’d only just washed it that morning and baby drool wasn’t a good conditioner.

The third year…

“Da twee is gween!” Cordelia proudly repeated.

Liam scowled in frustration. “No, there’s R’s in that sentence. The trrree is grrreen. You say it.”

“IT!” She bellowed and then laughed gaily; clapping hands completed the picture she made. She was such a clever, big girl now.

“No Cordy,” his voice raised a little, then instantly lowered at the sign of shiny tears. “Okay, let’s try it this way… First word. The.”


“No, the…”


Liam sighed. “Okay, next word. Tree.”


He rubbed throbbing temples. “Let’s try something else. The cat is soft.”

“Da cat is soft.”

Liam beamed and patted the girl on her head, earning himself a giggle. “Very good.”

Cordelia grinned girlishly. “Vewy good.”

He was suddenly struck with a horrible thought. What if she had a defective tongue? Now wonder she couldn’t talk properly. She had a broken tongue. It was okay. There was nothing to worry about. There were medical breakthroughs everyday according to his dad, and his mom said they even put a man on the moon. Liam was still debating that one.

Still, he was sure if her dad and mom got her the best doctors, then her tongue would be fixed in no time at all.

“Ah, Liam.” He looked over his shoulder to see Mr Chase. That man always made him feel like a flea.

“Good afternoon, sir.” What could he want to talk about? Unless it was about Cordy’s broken tongue.

“Can I have a word with you,” Mr Chase paused to scratch his chin thoughtfully. How was he supposed to do this? Ah. “Man to, uh, man?” There. That put a smile on the boy’s face. He chuckled inwardly as Liam stood straighter and squared his scrawny shoulders.

“Of course.” Never let it be said Liam Angel didn’t know how to mind his manners. He followed Cordy’s dad into his study and found a glass of soda waiting for him. See? That’s what politeness got you.

“Sit down, young man.” Mr Chase copied and sat in his own chair, opposite Liam, and wondered how the hell to proceed. “I need too talk to you about Cordy.”

The only thing Liam could think of was her broken tongue. “Yeah I know, I’ve just found out.” And what a way to find out, too. He just hoped he hadn’t hurt the poor girl by trying to teach her something she couldn’t do.

“Uh?” Mr Chase was stumped. Found out about what? Not that it mattered, because he had a point to make. “You see Liam, the point of being parents is to, well, be parents. Raise your child and send them out into the world, well-adjusted and hopefully not serial killers.”

Respectfully, Liam nodded in understanding. “Sir, you and Mrs Chase have done a great job with Cordy.” The only thing ever killed was his hair, but he doubted it was a crime. Pity really.

“Uh yes, thank you son.” Mr Chase cleared his throat and tried a different tactic. “How can I put this? Okay, take her walking for instance…”

“Don’t worry about that, I know she’s a bit clumsy sometimes, but she’ll have it down in no time. I’ll help her.” One foot in front of the other. Wasn’t hard. Liam had been doing it all his life, and it’d only take a short while to pass on his perfected technique to Cordy.

Again, Mr Chase cleared his throat and appeared to croak his next words. “We would have liked to teach her ourselves. Not that you didn’t do a good job, what with being the good buhh man you are.”

“I’ve been walking since I was almost 2; I think I’m a good person to teach her.”

Cordelia’s father covered his mouth and waited a second or two before continuing. “Okay, let’s try it this way… Do you know what her first word was?”

Liam thought really hard, but he got nothing. “Umm… No.” Now he felt guilty.

“It was Liam… Well, Liah, but you understand.”

The young man sighed with relief. It was about her tongue after all. “Yes,” he stated, relieved her father knew about the speech impediment. “I think her tongue is broken.”

Mr Chase yet again cleared his throat and bit his lip. “No, that’s not it. You see, we would have liked her first word to be mommy or daddy, not your name. Do you understand?”

He thought he understood, but just to be on the safe side, “You want to teach her the important things?” Liam scowled a little. How was… Never mind. At least she wouldn’t be eating his hair anymore. Right.

The man smiled at him. “Yes, you’re a very smart man. I’m glad we understand each other.” Her father stood and patted the boy on the shoulder as he walked past. “You can do other things with her. Play games or toys, but leave the parenting to us.”

Liam slowly nodded and turned to see Cordy at the study door, sucking her thumb. It was probably just as well. He was getting nowhere with her R’s.




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s