Sticks and Stoned

SUMMARY: The talking stick has a hidden punch.
POSTED: 15 May 2004
WARNINGS: None Listed
1) Scorch Says: Cali did most of this, I just threw in the odd one-liner so all credit should go to her.
STATUS: Complete

“Okay, Angel….just a few more steps- and can you get your hand off my breast? It isnt a door handle”

“Sorry, Cor, but it’s pretty soft”

“Not *that* soft bucko”

“No, no; firm and soft…can I just-”

“NO! You can’t. Touch my bra strap again and I’ll use it to put your injured balls in a sling”

“Now now, Cordy; aggression is a form of emotional protection from hurt feelings”

“Nope, its more protection from your wandering hands”

“My hands are not wandering, they’re just physically expressing my feelings”

“Do you want me to physically express MY feelings?”

“Oooh, its all dark in here; could you just switch that lamp on?”

“If you’d remove your hands, you could”

“Now sit here and dont move”

“Cordy, did Iever tell you that you move with grace and pure sexiness?”

“Nope, but it never hurts to say”

“Come and sit by me, I feel all alone and isolated here; it’s not good to feel that way”

“Only if you keep your hands in your lap”

“I give you my word…!”

Turns to go over “Hey! no playing with your own talking stick, buster!”

“But its lonely”

“Well, suck it up, big guy, cos that stops now”

“I wish” muttered.

“What did you say?”

“I said I wish you’d sit next to me- so cold”

“Okay- but I mean it; one wrong touch and those hands are dust; literally”

“Just this morning you were saying I dont show my appreciation,”

“There’s showing and *showing* Angel… ANGEL! what are you doing?!”

“Just getting comfortable- arent you comfortable on my lap?”

“Well….just behave.”

“Who me?” Innocent look

“Yeah, you; so can’t wait for that stick to wear off”

“Sorry; I’ll just shift a little”

*lost for words*

“Is that better?”

“I want the cool uncaring Angel back!”

“Women! Never satisfied- I could satisfy you, Cor”


“No, really!”

“I don’t want or NEED satisfying, so give it a rest”

“Awwe, that’s cos you don’t know what its like to be satisfied”

“We *are* talking about food and wine here, I hope”

“Well, if you want to be wined and dined first…can that wait till tomorrow?”

“Why not now?”

“Well, for a start it’s nearly dawn, and for another….I need you, baby”

“That’s it! I’m calling Doyle…let me up, Angel”

“Nope. You obviously have issues and we need to deal with them”

“The only issue I have is where your hand is going right now”

“I just want to express myself, is that so wrong?”

“Yeah well, you can express yourself in a less physical way”

“You mean like this…”

“Umph Angel, breathing is an important factor in living you know. Now just behave!”

“What’s the matter now? It was just a kiss Cor, nothing too physically expressive was it?”

“It depends what you mean by expressive”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, your tongue stuck down my throat is way beyond expressive, buddy!”

“If you wanted my tongue somewhere else, all you had to do was ask”

“How about kept in your mouth?”

“That wasn’t a proper question, that was a suggestion”

“Ok, Angel would you please keep your tongue in your own mouth? Thanks”

“I never got the chance to answer, so… No!”

“Hey! Your hands are going places again”

“If I can’t use my mouth for expression then my hands will have to do, won’t they? Aw c’mon Cor, you’re always telling me I have open up more and share my feelings. Well, I’m sharing!”

“What feelings? You don’t have any feelings”

“I do have feelings…just dont like to express myself”

“Feelings, shmeelings!”

“Do too- see, feel?”


“What? Is it too small- cos I can change that if you keep holding on”

“No, it isnt too sm- Angel! For Gods sake, put it away”

“Why? does it offend you? You said I need to share so I’m sharing”

“I didnt mean *that* kind of sharing- if you dont put it away, I swear I’ll go blind!”

“Ohhhh, I get it! You’re feeling neglected; is that better?”

“Angel! get your hand out of my panties- right now!”

“I’m sure you don’t mean that Cor; look- shiny fingers” Grin. “I’m thinking this is just what you need to relax. Just let go, baby”

“The only thing that letting go is your- Ahh!”

“Is two too much? I can…. there, is that better?”


“What was that, Cor? God, you’re tight!” Smirk. “You’re a virgin! I knew it!” more playing. “I could make it good for you- you wanna do more sharing?”

“Unhhhh- err, NO! stop that right now, Angel!

“But you feel so soft and sweet, Cor, dont make me go back into the cold… Mmm, i could wear you on my fingers forever… My tongues’ pretty cold too”

“You’re not kidding!”

“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about doing this to you? So glad you’re letting me show you at last.”

“I don’t think this is the kind of ‘sharing’ i had in mind, big guy”

“Thanks; glad I’m adequate enough for you”

“Me too! I don’t think my brain could take much more sharing”

“It isnt your brain I’m thinking of sharing right now. Though a head does come into it”

“I hope you dont think I’m being too forward Cor, cos i could do it from the back if you like. But then again, I want this to be special- a sharing moment where we are face to face, body to body…and joined in body as well as mind… Have I told you how much I enjoy having you as my secretary? And now I just want to enjoy you. I just want to enjoy having you”

“Thought you were sharing?!”

“Oh, yeah- but first… I’m sorry, Cordy, It’s the vampire in me- can you accept that side of me?”

“Oh, of course I can, Angel” hug

“In that case…” chomp.

“No biting! NO BITING!”

“Awwe, its just a nibble. And as we are having such a deep moment, I have to warn you, once you’re mine I’ll rip out the throat of any guy who looks at you”

“Who said I’m yours? A finger does not make me your exclusive property!”

“But I’ve only just started baby. I haven’t shared all of me yet and since I’m sharing with you, it’s only fair for you too share your feelings too”

“Hold it buster; who said I wanna share anything else? A finger I can live with, but anything else? Uh uh!”

“That’s what you think, baby. my finger is just the taster” scoops her up “Now for the main meal”

“I hope you don’t mean, I dunno, me?”

“Of course not baby, I mean me! After all, it’s only right that I share every part of me with every part of you”

“No WAY is that part of your anatomy going anywhere near me!”

“Arguing is an unconstructive way to share feelings; I want to show my feelings and you are gonna accept them”

“It’s not your feelings I’m worried about, bucko. I dont put out to any Tom Dick or Harry, yaknow”

“Good thing I’m called Angel!”


“That’s right, baby, scream my name”

“I mean it, Angel! I havent held onto it this long just to lose it to a vampire with mental problems”

“Now that I’ve started to share my feelings, my mental problems seem to be leaving”

“That wont be the only thing that leaves if yo- hey! watch the clothes!”

“I am. I’m watching them come off you”

“Not the- NOT the panties!”

“They are lovely, but sadly, in the way of sharing my feelings”

Squeal. “Put those unmentionables away NOW!”

“How about I just put em on the floor? After all, what’s the use in taking care of useless material?”

“They wouldn’t be useless material if you hadn’t… Hey! Watch where you’re putting that thing…”

“It’s not a thing Cor, it’s a big part of me that I want to share”

“It’s the sharing of that big part of you I’m worried about”

“It’ll only hurt for a second- promise to be thoughtful”

“It wont fit, so stop right there, buster”

“Of course it’ll fit baby, if you just open up to me!”

“I’m not opening anything!”

“Cor, please dont make me demand”

“Well, that sound sensitive!”

“Think it’s wearing off”


“Yup This is all me baby; now open those luscious legs and wrap em round tight”

“Angel- ANGEL! get a grip!”

“Oh, I am…such lovely hips Cor”

“I swear to God, Angel; this is such a bad thing to do- think about it!”

“Trust me, I am!”

“Just think how you’ll feel in the morning!”

“Probably as hard as i am now, now shsh”

“Ssh? I will not shh!… Owe! stop it”

“Poor baby needs a little coaxing” scoots down.

“Angel! you wooooooon’t be-be able to live with yourself tomorrow when the whacky stick wears offfff!”

“It did……about twenty minutes ago. This is all me, baby, now lie back and enjoy it”

Growl, whimper, pant.




“Lithe thith?”


Scoots back up.

“Now tilt those hips and relax”

“We-we cant do this”

“Yes we can…just- unhhh, God!”

“Ahhnngelluss will be the one doing the sharing if we, oh uhhhhnn, keep this up!”

“Shhhhh” groan

“So tight and hot and delicious, mmmm”

“We sooo have got to… Hmmm… Stop!”

“Like this?!”

Growls, glares and pleas.


“So you want me to keep sharing? I can do that, see?!”

“I see that. You’re quite good with sharing aren’t ya?”

“Just quite good? Tut tut, there must be something wrong with my technique… Lemme just…”

“Oooh ummuhh! We really should stop…!”

“That’s it baby, hold me tighter. Wrap those legs around… Ahhh”

“This is sooo baad, we could get into so much trouble… Harder!”

“You want it harder Cor?”


“Like that baby? Want more?”

“Oh God yes! I mean no, We have got to stop this… Forget I said that, don’t you dare stop!”

“Your wish is my command”

“Really? I wish for you to not lose your soul after this!”

“Too late; lost it hours ago, babes. That stick did more than chill me out”

“Oh GOD!”

“I’m not God, I’m Angelus!”





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