AUTHOR: SCORCH (aka JUDI)
SUMMARY: Based on Califi’s ‘Don’t Make Me Move You’ challenge.
POSTED: 13 Aug 2003
CATEGORY: DARK / ANGST / SMUT
WARNINGS: Sexual Content
FICPIC CREDIT: N/A
AUTHOR NOTES: None
“Don’t make me move you” he had said, or threatened rather and the look of betrayal on her face told him he had just screwed everything up just that little bit more.
“I don’t even know what you are anymore” she had shot back, just as angry as he was if not angrier.
“Fuck” Angel snarled, slamming his fist easily through the wall but not feeling any of the pain it caused, blood trickled down the pale, cut flesh of his knuckles but still he felt nothing. He was cold inside, empty as if there was nothing there. It was half true, there wasn’t really, and what there was in there didn’t work.
A growl full of rage echoed throughout the room, closely followed by the resounding crash of a now destroyed chair, heavy oak shattering on impact against the wall, fragments of splintered wood littering the floor wildly. The demise of the fragile ornaments were next, pieces of stained glass joining the particles of wood on the floor, parts of the antique figurines lay in a broken heap.
“Don’t make me move you“
“I don’t even know what you are anymore”
He picked up the mug she had given him, crushing it with his hand just as easily as he’d crushed everything else, the furniture his life and now her. “Fucking bitch” Angel snarled as his eyes took on a cold, sadistic glint, “Bitch” he snarled again as his eyes landed on a photograph of him and her.
She was smiling for the camera, a teasing hue held in the hazel gaze as he stared hard at the picture now in his hand, raw willpower only keeping him from tearing it apart. He couldn’t do that to her, couldn’t tear her apart, it would be wrong of him to do it.
But he wanted to.
Wanted to hurt her like she’d hurt him, wanted to let her know she did know who and what he was. “Cordelia” her name rolled off his tongue in a long, lazy drawl as his gaze swept the picture and with his sadistic smirk still tugging at the edges of his mouth, Angel placed the picture of her gently on the bed. He was still now, his body numb and not feeling the fury that suffocated him only a mere few minutes ago.
All he felt now was crystal, clear clarity.
He knew what he wanted to do too her, but it would take some meticulous planning, working out the details
“Cordelia Chase, you’ll get yours” Angel spoke in a voice which would have chilled Satan.
The next few days were spent watching her, learning everything about her from what time she went home to what bra and panties she wore. Every second of every day, he watched and waited for the right time to corner his prey, for the right time to prove his words right. He was a vampire, plain and simple, and she needed to learn to some respect for him. She needed to learn that she couldn’t go around making smartass comments and expect no repercussions from him.
Angel was hard the thought alone of the power he would have over her, she would be tied up and legs spread on her bed, open to every and anything he wanted to do. His cock began to ache as he watched her smile at Gunn and Wesley in the way she used to smile at him. The same, bright smile that would brighten the day for him, that same, bright smile would be wiped off her face and replaced with parted lips as she screamed for him to keep fucking her.
He could imagine making her suck him off, making her swallow every drop of his come. He could imagine holding her still as he cleaned her out, tongue fucking her until she came in his mouth, her arousal would coat his lips, slide down his throat and he bet she tasted so much better than blood.
His gaze darkened, expression once again cold, emotionless except for the manipulative half smile that flickered on his lips. Everything was almost ready, there was just one more thing he needed to make this perfect.
Angel flicked the grounding rock into Cordelia’s hall closet; her little bodyguard would be useless until the power of the holding spell wore off. He shut the door quietly, turned to look around her living room, smiling serenely when he saw everything was in perfect order. He knew she would appreciate the trouble he’d had to make this night perfect.
The light was dim, he had everything set and now all he needed was for her to come home so they could discuss their conversation earlier in the week. He would show her she knew him; he would show her just how fucking well she knew him inch by inch. The vampire adjusted his erection in his pants when he heard her approach her front door. Angel checked the clock on her mantle; 7:10 pm, she was right on time.
He sat calmly sipped the red wine as he watched the handle turn and the door open as Cordelia walked in, releasing her long hair from the neat ponytail that held it in place He listened to the breath exhaled from her red lips and listened to her heart rate, strong and even beats keeping her blood flowing through her body. She took off her shoulder bag, slinging it on the floor and stepping out of her shoes.
“Dennis can you make me a coffee please? God, never again will I trust Wes with the company coffee” Cordelia asked, rubbing the back of her neck to relieve the stress knotting the muscles tightly. “Dennis?” she asked, frowning when she got no response from her companion.
“Dennis is a little… Preoccupied” Angel answered in place of Dennis, he listened to her shocked yelp and watched as she spun around to face him, hand raised to her chest as if to prevent her heart from breaking her ribcage.
Cordelia swallowed, her breathing shallow and sharp, eyes wide with shock and a slight tinge of fear as their last encounter flashed before her eyes. “Angel?” she asked, searching his face “What are you doing here?”
Angel inhaled deeply, held it and exhaled; he sauntered slowly around the separating table until he stood within a few feet of her. “What am I doing here? Hmm, good question with an even better answer” he replied easily. Kneeling so they were face to face, “I just wanted to prove how very wrong you are”
Swallowing again but standing her ground, refusing the let him intimidate her. “Prove me wrong? About what?” she waved her arms in exaggerated movements, trying to distract him from her nervousness. “You know what? I don’t care so you can just leave. Now”
Angel rubbed his jaw thoughtfully, straightening his body “See, that’s something I can’t do” he answered with a mock cringe.
“That’s where you’re wrong” Cordelia countered firmly, “Get out Angel. I won’t tell you again”
An amused laugh escaped his lips as she threatened him seemingly unfazed and not scared of him at all. If it hadn’t been for the sharp breaths, the pounding of her heart and the scent of angered fear he would never have known she was scared.
This is what he wanted. Cordelia fighting him, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Angel threw the wine glass carelessly over his shoulder as he looked at Cordelia patronizingly, “You’re threatening me?” he asked with raised eyebrows, ignoring her annoyed look at her now broken glass.
“It seems to be a contagious disease these days” she hissed out angrily, backing towards her door slowly. “Where’s Dennis?” she demanded, “Dennis?”
“I’ve told you, Dennis is preoccupied. You really should listen more” Angel told her, moving so he was between her and the door. “I never said you could leave either. This is between you and me sweetheart” he spoke in a lowered voice husky with desire caused by so many emotions. Her fear, her temper, his temper and the way he had captured his prey perfectly.
Cordelia yanked her body away from his harsh touch, stumbling forward and pushing strands of hair out of her mouth. “I told you to get out” she warned darkly, “NOW”
“I told you I’m not going anywhere Cordelia and neither are you” Angel growled, making her put the sofa between them. “You know, if you had just kept your mouth shut we wouldn’t be in this mess. Well, you wouldn’t be in this mess rather” he corrected quickly.
“How dare you come uninvited into my home and threaten me”
“If I was uninvited Cordelia, I wouldn’t be standing in this room right now” he pointed out, “Maybe you wanted me to come here. Maybe you expected me to come here, what I wanna know is what did you expect me to come here for?”
“I don’t expect anything from you anymore” she hissed out, keeping her body moving away from his and keeping herself at what she hoped was a safe distance. “I’ve never expected anything off you since you turned your back on us, on your mission and on yourself”
Angel paused in thought at her words before sighing, “You’re right. How wrong of me to do that you. How wrong of me to stop giving you my undivided attention. Poor Cordelia” he sniffled and wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.
Cordelia stopped moving away from him as his words pulled a little on her heart, knowing in a way he was right so she told him so. “Yes I missed your attention, I missed you and the way you helped people” her words brought a triumphant smirk to his face. “Missed Angel, past tense. I don’t miss you anymore, I don’t need you to fight my visions; we’re doing fine on our own” the smirk didn’t disappear as she’d hoped.
The vampire shook his head, not believing a word she said because he had been watching her and the other two but they were irrelevant in this. “Don’t lie to me, Cordelia” he sang teasingly and resting his hands on the back of her couch. “From what I’ve seen sweetheart, fine wouldn’t be the word I’d use”
“Oh really?” Cordelia felt her way along the edge of the windowsill, looking for her phone, “What word would you say… Angelus?” purposely using the name of his evil soulless self to rile him up a little more.
“Not Angelus,” he growled at her, not making a move to stop her from using the phone knowing her line would be dead. “Go ahead, call them”
Cordelia paused for a second before grabbing the phone and dialing Gunn’s number, placing the earpiece to her ear, the beep-beep-beep of a dead signal rang her brain. Either her phone wasn’t working or Angel had cut her line, and right now she was guessing it was Angel who had barricaded her in her own house. “What the hell are trying to prove?” she yelled, trying a different tactic.
“I want to prove you wrong Cordelia” Angel moved so he was standing in front of her again, “I want to prove you do know me, I want to prove you know what I am and who I am”
“Oh I know what you are” she shot back at him, her body now shaking in fear as the situation caught up with her. She knew Angel was unstable and he’d proved that by doing all of this to prove to her that she did know him. “And I know who you are. If you think you’re scaring me than you have another thing coming”
“I’ve already told you not to lie to me Cordelia, I know you’re scared of me right now, terrified even” Angel replied, lowering his voice a little more. “And something will be coming by the end of tonight, or should I say someone”
She stilled, mouth parting in shock at both his words and the meaning behind his words, “W-what?”
“Oh yeah, you wanna be fucked so bad don’t you?” he trailed a fingertip down her cheek, smirking when she flinched from his touch, he grabbed her lower jaw and forced her to look at him. “You walk around in those short skirts, tight little tops and you don’t care about who you tease with it do you? Or maybe you do”
Cordelia smacked his hand away from her, “I’m not a tease you asswipe” she hissed in defense, her eyes landing on her shoulder bag containing her cell phone, if she could get to it then she could call Gunn and Wesley. Then again, if she could get to her bedroom, her stakes and holy water she could make him leave…
“Don’t even think about it sweetheart” Angel warned, “They’re not there, I didn’t wanna take the chance of you being hostile to me”
She didn’t know whether to be relieved or not, she knew she could never kill Angel because he was Angel even if he was a little nuts right now. Cordelia swallowed heavily, shifting on her feet her only hope now was to calm him down, make him listen to her. “Angel, you’re not acting like yourself…”
He turned away from her, laughing slightly as he picked up the half empty wine bottle and studying it closely. Angel took a heavy drink before smashing the bottle against her wooden coffee table, making her shriek and jump. “If you don’t know me Cordelia, then how the fuck would you know if I’m not acting like myself?” he demanded, spinning back round to face her.
“Angel please you’re scaring me” she told him, blinking back tears of fright and hurt at the way her supposed best friend was treating her. “Just stop… we can talk about this”
“The time for talking’s come and gone Cordelia, I’m way past that stage” he growled at her and grabbed her shoulders. “Now, I think it’s time we took our relationship to the next level”
“Now it’s time to take our relationship to the next level”
“You’re here to prove me wrong?” Cordelia asked, her breath coming out shaky as she raised a hand trying to push him away from her. “As far as I can tell, I don’t know you. The Angel I know wouldn’t be deliberately trying to scare me and acting like a-a…”
“You’re wrong Cordelia, you do know me” Angel snarled out, “If you think you don’t then believe by the time I’m done with you. You’ll be able to describe every inch of me in your dreams”
Cordelia felt a drop in her stomach just as she felt a raise between her shaking legs, his expression and tone told her he was about to do something very wrong, very sinful but very good. His earlier words came back to her, eyes flashing with fury Cordelia pushed him away from her and took a few steps back. “I don’t want to look at you let alone touch you” she hissed.
“No but you want me to touch you” Angel retorted, stalking her as he would prey. “You want me to bring you to your knees, make you suck me off. Is that what you want? Or do you want me on my knees and your little pussy on my mouth?”
She had never heard words like that spill from his mouth ever, but the crude way in, which he spoke, was making her body traitor to her mind. “Touch any part of me and I-I,” she stammered, she couldn’t even threaten him with death.
“You’ll what?” Angel taunted as he walked her back against the wall, “Come so hard you won’t be able to breathe? Tell me Cor, how long have you wanted me? What makes you want me so much?”
“I don’t want you”
“No” she hissed, sliding her back along the wall to get away from him, she had never felt anything like what she was feeling.
She was furious that he had planned this, that she knew because her phone, Dennis and her weapons had all been taken away. The wine bottle he had smashed and the wine glass still intact on her table, the bastard had been stalking her and she had never known it. Along with her anger there was fear; fear at being stalked by her ex best friend and fear at having a face-off with an unstable vampire.
Then there was the adrenalin that all the heated arguments, everything had reached boiling point and now it was about to erupt in a catalytic explosion between them. That adrenalin was making her blood rush; had her stomach in knots and her body tingling in preparation to hit back against the vampire who had cornered her. Literally.
“Then why are you getting wet?” Angel asked innocently, “Is this what you like Cordelia? You like a little rough and tumble?”
“You’re crazy” Cordelia hissed out, pushing her body into the corner and clenching her hands into fists ready to kick the shit out of him.
Angel looked at her fists, boredom on his face and shaking his head in disappointment. “Really, I thought you were honest? You’ve lied to me a lot tonight haven’t you? You tell me you’re not scared of me and now you’re telling me you’re not excited by me. Tut tut, sweetheart, that’s no way to start a relationship”
“We don’t have a relationship, asswipe”
“Will you stop lying?” Angel asked with cold amusement in his voice, “We have a relationship sweetheart, we’ve had one for a while, now you’re going to stop being a cock-teasing bitch and…”
Cordelia’s hand connected with the side of his face in a stinging slap, “I am not a cock-tease, but I am a bitch” she seethed, rage replacing all her fear and pouring out of her shaking body. “If you think you can come in here and push me around in my own fucking home than you’re crazier than I thought. Come on Angelus, whatever you do to me I can do ten times better… Or worse depends on how you look at it”
“Angel” Angel snarled, pushing his powerful body up against hers, pleased that she was now fighting back and not cowering in his presence. This is what he wanted, Cordelia pushing back with everything she had before he brought her to her knees.
“Angelus” she hissed.
“That who you want, sweetheart?” Angel chuckled in her ear, “I bet you’ve fantasized about him, laying in your bed at night, thinking about having him spread your legs wide…” his husky voice trailed off at the image his words painted for him.
“Is that what you fantasize Angel?” Cordelia bit harshly, “That I’m laying there, tied to your bed while you screw me slowly?”
The look now in his eyes was indescribable as she turned this round on him; he had never heard her use that kind of language before and he liked it. Liked hearing her talk slutty, it made her more on his level and not like how she pretended to be.
As for this very moment in time, all Angel wanted to do was wipe that smirk off her face, take her smartass mouth and make her use it for something much more pleasuring. Cordelia’s breathing had turned so harsh there was a stabbing pain in her chest every time she inhaled, her heart was now crashing against her ribs but her blood seemed to stop flowing when an emotion flashed across Angel’s hard face.
She recognized the expression; it was the same one he got when he killed a demon. Smug; satisfied – and oh so wickedly evil as he enjoyed the fatal snap of a neck; Unconsciously, her hands went to her throat as she swallowed, she hadn’t believed he would really kill her. But when he looked at her like that, she couldn’t help the panic fluttering in her stomach.
He noticed her protective movement, hands going to her throat to prevent him from biting her or cracking her neck. Angel saw her lips part, her eyes fill up with panicked tears and her breathing all but stop.
She had never looked more beautiful.
His hands moved from the wall, fisting her hair and crushing his lips against hers, forcing her mouth to accept his tongue and accept his dominance over her. A moan came from Cordelia as she pushed hard and uselessly against his solid chest, his hands stopped her from turning away from his kiss and away from him.
Angel smirked against her mouth, swiftly moving his hand down to stop her knee connecting with his groin, instead he curled her thigh high over his hip and crushed her body to the wall. Hips pressing up against hers; erection in contact with her clit through her clothes.
Cordelia pressed her hips into his, relishing the friction and the boiling point they had come too; she took her mouth away from his to gulp in oxygen that had been stolen. Her nipples were visible through her bra and top, arousal was dampening her panties, sweat making her skin slick and salty.
Angel laughed in her ear, “Thought you didn’t want me to touch you?” he pushed her breasts together, teasing her hardened nipples with his fingers, gentle touches were soon replaced with rough touches that made Cordelia hiss and arch into his hands. “You want me alright. All this time I thought it was me you were teasing and you were teasing yourself just as much. There are words for girls who show off their lean, firm bodies to men Cordelia”
“Maybe you like playing the slut, or maybe it’s just me you like to play the slut for” Angel smirked at her enraged gasp and pushed his cock harder against her clitoris making her buck back. His words were lost when Cordelia shut him up with her mouth in a vicious kiss that made him tremble. His hands moved from her breasts, sliding his hands into the waistband of her pants and pushed them down over her hips. He massaged her clitoris through the material of her silk panties, feeling the arousal increase and his fingers become wet.
“Asshole” Cordelia hissed, once again trying to push him away and bucking into his hand at the same time
“Bitch” Angel hissed back “Just admit you want me to fuck you hard” he ripped the damp silk of her panties away, pushing his finger deep inside and making her moan. He pushed hard inside her, holding her thigh over his hip with his free hand. Cordelia grabbed his neck, forcing his mouth back to hers, kissing him deep as her nails scratched the nape of his neck.
He tormented her clitoris, brushing the heel of his palm against it every time he penetrated her pussy, eliciting moans, mewls and high-pitched squeaks of air from her. Angel trailed unloving kisses along her jaw, her neck and down to her décolleté, his tongue tasting the salt on her slick skin and blunt teeth biting the swell of her breasts. He brought his hand up to push the material away, turning his kisses to her nipples, flicking his tongue over one then the other.
Cordelia pulled his hair so he would look at her; Angel gazed unwavering into her eyes smug and determined as her inner muscles contracted around his penetrating fingers in preparation of her climatic release. He pushed inside her once more before removing his fingers, unzipping his pants and slamming his cock deep. She froze at first, feeling the intrusion had rendered her speechless. She saw no surprise in his eyes; if it hadn’t felt so good she would’ve felt physically violated.
Angel moved his hands to cup her ass, bring her legs tight around his waist and holding her body captive against the wall. His chest began to rise and fall with the motion of breathing; her temperature was beyond boiling as she crushed his erection with her inner muscles, making it hard for him to move. He raised her so the tip of his erection lay teasingly inside her, he watched her try and push down, take him back inside.
Shaking his head, “No Cordelia, this is going to fast” he could still feel how close to orgasm she was, he could still feel how she had gripped him when he penetrated her. “We’ll get to you soon sweetheart, you’ve denied me this fuckable body for too long, now you don’t get to tease me anymore” he hissed. His body was screaming to be inside her, screaming to fuck her until she couldn’t call out his name anymore.
Cordelia felt her feet hit the floor as he set her down, her body felt incomplete with him but the whole thing already had her head swirling. She couldn’t believe he’d just left her body when she was so close. All she wanted now was Angel back inside her, fucking her senseless. It was the only way they would be able to get rid of the tension between each other without killing each other.
“No” she hissed, “You don’t get to leave me like this, you don’t get to treat me like one of your whores. If you wanna fuck me, Angel then fuck me”
“No, you’ll get fucked but only when I decide” Angel snarled at her, “You got me so hard sweetheart, it’s tempting to just slide slowly into your pussy, have you ride me but first I want you on your knees Cordelia. I want you to get on your knees and suck me off” his eyes roamed her state. Long hair, messy, lips bruised, eyes as dangerous as his own, breasts rising and falling sharply and her pants being pushed fully to the ground.
“Good girl” Angel murmured as he looked at her pussy, licking his lips hungrily in anticipation of drinking her orgasm, “You’re so close Cordelia, I can tell how wet you are, I felt how hot you were. Your pussy held me so tight sweetheart, I almost exploded. But that’s what you want isn’t it? Me coming inside you?”
“You know it is” Cordelia seethed with rage at being left like she was. Angel dropped his pants to the floor, kicking away the black material and ripped her top away from her chest, leaving her exposed. To his intense gaze. Her cheeks flushed pink with rage, her breasts swollen from his less then tender touch and her nipples pert as she reacted to him.
She didn’t give him a chance to retort, she tore his own shirt from his body leaving him naked to her own hungry gaze. Cordelia pushed Angel away from her, allowing her to move from the hard wall behind her. “You want me on my knees?” she hissed as she scraped her nails down his chest and Angel grabbed her wrists to stop her.
He pushed her to her knees, moving his legs apart and watched as Cordelia cupped his balls in her hand using her other to hold the base of his erection. “Do it sweetheart, I wanna watch” his gaze remained on her, listening when a little moan escaped as she wrapped her lips around his cock. Angel fisted his hands in her hair, moaning her name, telling her she was good, that she had a talent for it.
Cordelia’s eyes fluttered shut as she flicked her tongue over the tip of his erection before lowering her mouth down, taking him so deep her lips brushed the base. Angel growled and the human visage gave way to the vampire, his hands tightened in her hair and started to thrust his hips in time to her movements. Her hand moved to tease his balls; kneading them and then running her nails lightly down the sensitive skin.
“Cordelia” Angel growled when his orgasm hit, she went to pull away but he held her still, with an erotic feminine moan, Cordelia swallowed his ejaculation and feeling him throb in her mouth as he came. He forced his eyes to remain open so he could watch her swallow the orgasm she gave him; his body felt alive, something he hadn’t felt in what seemed like such a long time.
Cordelia ran her tongue along his erection, feeling smug that she had done that to him and she told him so. “Didn’t think I could do that to you did you?” she asked, licking her lips of his taste and reveling in the evidence of what she had done to him.
“With a smartass mouth like yours sweetheart, anything’s possible” Angel growled, he brought her to him and shuddered, as he tasted himself in her mouth. “Now it’s your turn” he took her by her arm, half dragging her into her bedroom and flinging her on the bed. Cordelia sat on her knees and looked at him through hazy eyes, licking her lips wanting to feel him in her mouth again.
Angel pushed her onto her back, staring into her hazel eyes with dark, amber demonic ones and placed his body down on top of hers. His erection was almost painful, the perfect blowjob she had given hadn’t done anything to relieve the built up passion inside him. His lips came down on hers gently, a total contradiction to the other brutal kisses they’d had that night.
His lips massaged and soothed her bruised, red lips, his cool tongue sweeping her pout before she parted her lips and he slid his tongue to play with hers. Her hands roamed his back, tickled his skin and cupping his ass to pull him hard against her body. Angel moaned, releasing her mouth so he could speak.
“Your turn sweetheart” he whispered lightly, he moved down her body placing kisses as he went lower and lower, his fingers once again teasing her clitoris and adding to the pre-orgasmic stress that he had ignored. Angel bit her thigh lightly, her arousal scent was so strong and heady the closer he got; he looked longingly at her clitoris, arousal glistening and making her look so tempting. He curled his tongue around the tiny, pink part of her body and held it between his lips, sucking lightly.
Cordelia bucked against his mouth, demanding more then she was getting from him, “Angel…” she half growled in impatience while her hands threaded through his hair. Angel blatantly ignored her; he let go and slid his tongue in deep, using his fingers to toy lazily with her clitoris. She was panting hard, his name spilling from her mouth as she held him as close to her as he would allow. The reaction he was getting was driving him to make this encounter as raunchy as he could.
Angel moved away from her, smirking wickedly when Cordelia stared at him in disbelief; the vampire grabbed her hips and moved them so she was straddling him. “Angel… Oh…” she moaned when he pulled on her hips to hold her still above him. His eyes closed when her arousal increased, filling his senses with the scent of submission, domination and the intermingled sex between them.
He purred lowly as he penetrated her with his tongue over and over, his fingers increasing the pressure on her clitoris, making Cordelia throw her head back in ecstasy and his name pour from her lips. Angel tasted the warmth spread from her as she cried out in pleasure as her climax from his oral stimulation wrecked her body through and through. He kept tormenting her wickedly with his tongue, knowing she needed to feel something inside her to make her orgasm shatter her.
Angel pushed her body down, ignoring her whimpers of rage at being denied release again, he didn’t even give her a second look when he penetrated her with his cock for the second time that night. Cordelia’s breath lodged in her throat when she felt him inside her again, then she lost it. Her body shook, her muscles fisted him desperately as she rode him hard and came harder.
“Angel…Angel…” his name was a mantra on her lips, Cordelia leaned back a little to rest on the palms of her hands, rocking her hips into his. He pushed up hard into her, the tip of his cock hitting the edge of her cervix, making her scream in both pleasure and pain. Angel sat up, shoved her onto her back, brought her legs up to his chest and pushed in deeper. There would be no mistake about who took her apart.
He went deeper and deeper, moved faster and harder inside her. His name and naughty orders spilled from her lips while praise and even naughtier words came from his. Cordelia’s body was denied relief from her first orgasm as the second one was forced upon her by him, Angel could feel his second climax building. Every single muscle in his body was taut, ready to snap, his balls were nestled tightly against her body.
Her body was shaking, eyes glazed and locked onto Angel’s, hands gripping his biceps, legs shifting to lock around his waist and holding him to her. Cordelia’s scream was silent when her body was taken under by the force of her orgasm. Shocking and deep, she clawed his back and shoulders, Angel pushed inside once more and let go.
His body felt like it was on fire, he felt so alive, so good and so warm. The cold had gone and he was warmed by the blood openly offered to him from his saviour. He let go of everything all his hate, all his rage, everything as he felt safe, warm and alive again. A soft voice spoke soft words to him, gentle hands soothed him as he calmed down and the gentleness held him so tightly.
He was with Cordelia and everything was okay again. It was more than okay it was…
Angel inhaled the sweet scent of Cordelia; his body seemed to float on a languid plain of peace where the only thing in existence was serenity. The room was in near darkness all barring the filtered moonlight that grazed the curtains, the only sound was the breaths of air and strong heartbeat against his chest. Her hot body pressed so close to his, humanity warming him through and through as he lazily placed kisses on her flushed skin.
The warmth grew hotter, forcing him to roll away from Cordelia sweat trickled down his face and his stomach began to seize with a sudden, searing pain and Angel felt something begin to tear loose from inside. Startled brown eyes were wide with panic as reality crashed down, bringing home how far they had gone. Rules had been broken, boundaries had been crossed and now the one thing he feared was happening again.
The demon inside waited patiently for the soul to disappear from the body they shared, smug and content to feel the soul suffer in the pain of being torn away, leaving the world at the demon’s mercy. It was such sweet irony that evil would be unleashed through love, or that final feeling of bliss. But what had taken place hadn’t been about love, it had been about despair, about hopelessness and loneliness, when that crashed down the soul would be in agony.
He didn’t hear Cordelia calling out his name as his entire body trembled; Angel tried to stand and knocked her room decorations to the floor, where they smashed into pieces. Panic-filled brown eyes turned on her, he tried to see through the intense distortion and focus on her. He didn’t want Cordelia anywhere near him, not after this was done.
“Get away from me” Angel choked out his voice shaky, eyes wild, panicked and unstable.
“No Angel, I won’t leave you” Cordelia yelled as she shielded her naked body with the rumpled sheets, her own eyes filled with fear, dread and a twisted form of acceptance.
These words swirled around and around in his head, his hands gripped the wall behind him and he stood on weak legs. Panicked eyes managed to focus on her; a tiny stream of blood decorated her throat, wrists and arms held angry red handprints which were bruising. Angel swallowed and looked at his hands then back to Cordelia who had her knees tucked up to her chest tightly.
The vampire fell down to one knee, fingers gripping the carpet and eyes tight shut, flashes of images spun his happiness out of control. Recent memories of sex, not love, clawed his brain and drove a sharp stab of pain direct through his heart. He’d all but raped Cordelia, his best friend and woman who he had grown to love. Where bliss had streamed through his body, revulsion now moved slowly forcing the cold to return.
He’d stalked her as if she were his prey; he’d trapped her in her own apartment and forced her to want him. Eyes that were full of wild panic a few moments ago were now full of self-hatred and despair as he looked at Cordelia.
As if to sense that he was going to be okay and not lose his soul, Cordelia slowly got off the bed, took a sheet with her and knelt down by Angel. The sheet softly kissed the vampire’s burning skin and she wrapped him up like a child, soothing him with words and lightly stroking his back. Hurting, bruised and sore, Cordelia lay down on the floor bringing Angel with her and tucking her body back into his.
Emotion so vivid raced through his body, how could he be happy when he did this to her? How could he have felt so good knowing he had made the woman he loved a victim? His victim.
Slowly, Angel stopped trembling as he focused light-infused vision on Cordelia, soft-spoken words penetrated the ringing in his ears and gentle touches caress his aching body. Sorry couldn’t describe what he felt but he couldn’t ask forgiveness when he clearly didn’t deserve any from her.
“Angel, what’s happened to you?” Cordelia whispered.
“Just wanted to feel, didn’t want to be cold anymore” he choked out in reply, “So sorry Cordelia, so sorry”
“Don’t say you’re sorry for what happened here, don’t you dare” she told him, words belied the calm whisper of her voice and the soft touches. “You planned this, you planned everything to get back at me. Why? What did I do that hurt you so much?”
“You said you didn’t know me, you do know me. You’re the only one that does a-and I couldn’t let you take that away from me” Angel raised a still trembling hand to cup her cheek and make her look at him. “You’re the only one”
“The only what Angel?” Cordelia asked, conflict all over her flushed face as she found herself meeting his gaze, it was as if he let her see him for the first time. She looked long, hard and deep, saw past the soul, past the demon and into the heart of the man that lived inside. Pain, heartache, misery were shining through the dark hypnotising orbs of his eyes. Beyond the anguish she saw passion, strength, love and everything else that made him Angel.
She saw a man who had forgotten who he was and what made him so special, she saw the rage so raw emanating from the demon it rocked her. She saw him.
“The only one I can’t be without, I need you to know who I am”
“I do know who you are Angel, it’s you that’s forgotten”
“Who am I?” he pleaded.
“You’re Angel” Cordelia replied quickly and simply, yes he needed a friend right now and yes she was willing to listen to him but there was no way she was going to allow him to put himself down. Not even after what had happened between them, they would get get to that eventually but she needed to know what had brought him to do such a thing to her.
“Can we get off the floor please, I don’t want carpet burns on my butt” she asked in her typical manner.
Angel looked at the sheet wrapped carefully around his body then at Cordelia laying uncovered on the floor curled around him. She shouldn’t be on the floor, she should be warm and safe away from him not letting him bring her down to his level. “Come on Angel, I want to go get off the floor because this really isn’t the place for us to talk”
Nodding in agreement, Angel uncurled his body from hers, unwrapping the sheet he gave it to Cordelia leaving him naked in front of her.
Shaking her head, Cordelia declined the offered sheet “I have nothing to hide from you,” she told him simply. Now looking at the bed, the other sheets were severely rumpled and thrown haphazardly on top of the mattress, pillows were strewn onto the floor and items of clothing were trailing out of the door. She went to get back onto the bed but he stopped her.
“Not there, the scent…” Angel muttered and cast his eyes towards the floor; he didn’t want to be surrounded by the scent of sex, the scent of his betrayal of their friendship and her trust in him.
“Okay,” she sighed deeply, “I could do with some coffee, would you like some?” it was a subtle way of asking if he wanted to go into the one room of her house that was untouched.
“Yes please” he responded, grateful for her giving him a way out of the bedroom.
Cordelia took his arm, rolling her eyes when he flinched at her touch she guided him through the living room, past the wreckage of the broken glass and into the kitchen. Noting he still carried the sheet, she took it off him and began to wrap it round herself. “I may not have anything to hide from you but I do have things to hide from my neighbours” she explained and began to put things ready for some hot coffee. Angel went to do it for her, taking the mugs out of her hand he looked at her.
“I’ll do it, you sit” he told her.
“No, I’ll do it you sit”
“Let me do it” Angel pleaded, he needed to make it up to her in anyway he could, if he could and if she would let him. Starting with making her coffee for her.
Gritting her teeth, Cordelia knew what he was going to try and do but he couldn’t make this right by making her coffee, he couldn’t make this right by saying he was sorry and he couldn’t regain her trust by doing things for her. Looked like they were going to talk about happened sooner rather than later. “Angel, you can’t make it up to me with words and coffee” she told him, “You can’t make up for trying to make me one of your victims”
Angel’s stomach clenched when she said the words he expected to hear from her, his heart broke in two when she told him he couldn’t make it up to her, he knew she wasn’t going to forgive him. How could he have hoped for her to forgive him?
“You’re right, I’m sorry…” sorry was overused these days.
“Sit down, I’ll make it” Cordelia took the mugs back out of his hands and placed them on the bench next to the boiling kettle. “Neither of us would have had to make it if Dennis was here” may as well start with one of the things that had really pissed her off. Nobody hurt Dennis, he was her friend and she loved him.
Something inside the vampire twisted painfully at the mention of the ghost, he’d taken every precaution nothing interfered with his plans for Cordelia and that had included weakening Dennis. She was right, there was nothing he could do to make it up to her and he couldn’t even say he was sorry because it would seem insincere after everything that had happened.
“Say something” Cordelia urged over her shoulder when his silence got too much to bear.
He didn’t know what to say, what could he say that wouldn’t sound like an insincere lie? Angel fidgeted with the edge of the table and swallowed unnecessarily, casting his haunted gaze away from her. “I don’t expect you to forgive me after what I’ve done” he stated quietly.
“Good, because I don’t forgive you” she replied, “Doing something like this to me is unforgivable and I can’t forget it happened just like that” water hit the bottom of a mug, breaking the deafening silence.
“Why Angel, why did you do this to me?”
Angel didn’t know how to answer that but he gave it his best shot, “When you told me you didn’t know who I was anymore, it felt like you took away what existence I had left. There was nothing but cold”
Turning round, Cordelia placed a mug of steaming coffee in front of him, “Here” taking a seat opposite him and staring into her own hot drink before responding to his words. “I don’t understand, you have everything in you Angel, I would give anything to be like you”
“What? You want to be a vampire?” was what he thought she meant.
“No” at any other time she might have laughed at his thoughts but now wasn’t the time for laughing and joking. Cordelia looked at Angel, “You are the strongest most brave person I know, you’re kind and all that’s good in the world. It takes a special person to live with things that most people have nightmares about and it takes someone very special to come back from hell”
how could she think he was good after this?
“I’m not good Cord…” Angel began and wrapped his cool hands around the burning ceramic mug, “This should prove to you what I am”
“I know you’re a vampire, I haven’t forgotten it’s kinda hard to forget a thing like that when I keep blood pouches in freezer. But that’s not all you are and if that’s what you really think deep inside then there’s no point in us having this conversation” she responded and paused to take a tentative sip and continued.
“I could sit here and talk until I’m blue in the face but it wouldn’t matter if you didn’t hear what I say as the truth. Angel, you can’t save anybody if you can’t save yourself”
“I don’t deserve to be saved, you of all people should agree with that” Angel snapped, “You sit there acting all righteous and trying to psychoanalyze me. Trying to preach to me about how good I am and how I need to be saved like one of the helpless”
Cordelia pondered over this for a second before answering him statement, “I’m not trying to psychoanalyze you, I’m trying to be a friend to you but if all you’re going to do is sit there and snap at me then you can leave. You once told me we can’t pick and choose who we do and don’t help, you’re right. We can’t force people to get help just as I can’t force my friendship on you so if you’re done wasting my time…”
Angel stared long and hard at the brunette who cradled the mug in both delicate female hands taking little delicate sips of the calming liquid. “I was so lonely Cordelia, I thought it was best I sent you away but all it did was make me lonely. The demon was too close to coming out in me and I couldn’t place you in that danger but it made the darkness worse”
“The danger?” she asked, a little confused by the way he talked sometimes.
Shaking his head, he answered in the negative “The loneliness made the darkness worse, there were no sounds in the hotel, there were no smells except for your lingering perfume and that was a constant reminder that I was alone”
“Then you came to the new office and threatened me, which is where I guess you snapped” Cordelia quickly added things up in her head and came to the obvious conclusion. Settling back in her chair, the seer looked at the vampire who’s gaze was now focused on the contents of his mug. “I what it’s like to be lonely too you know, sitting in a room in a large house for nights at a time with no one there. But unlike you, I couldn’t smell my mother’s lingering perfume or my daddy’s cologne and I couldn’ hear any little sounds. For me, there was really nothing in my life except when I got to school”
“I remember you in school, Cordy” Angel looked up at her again, “You had a ton of friends, people followed you everywhere and there were girls who wanted to be just like you. You couldn’t have been lonely”
This was reminiscent of the conversation she’d had with Buffy so long ago, chuckling slightly she repeated what she said to the Slayer. “All my friends were so busy agreeing with me that they never heard what I said and I was so busy trying to be popular that I never made any real friends”
“Why did you try so hard to be popular?”
“It beats being lonely all by yourself”
“You sound like you’ve said that before” Angel commented when she responded a little too quickly.
“You can’t imagine” Cordelia replied wryly and took a larger drink of her now cooling coffee. “I just wish you had come to me before now, we could have worked through all this together. As a family”
“What happens now?” he asked, risking another look at her and hoping for something he knew he wouldn’t get back.
“Well, we won’t be able to go back to the way were if that’s what you’re hoping for. We were friends and I trusted you not to hurt me but you did. You really hurt my feelings and I don’t know where we’re going to go from here” Cordelia replied honestly.
“I’ll leave if that’s what you want”
“That won’t solve anything between us, if anything it’ll make things worse because I’ll start to hate you and I don’t want that. I don’t want you to leave because I’ll miss you and you can’t leave because I’m Vision Girl, your Vision Girl. Something else you seem to have forgotten”
“I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to go back to that place again” Angel confessed to her, “So what now? What happens now between us, between you and me?”
“We both need time to come back from this, I need time to come back from this and you need time to earn my trust, friendship and respect”
“Can we work this out? Is there any chance of there being an us?”
“If there wasn’t a chance then you wouldn’t have been able to make me want you last night. But I come as a package Angel, Dennis and me are a team. While I may be able to get over what you did to me, I can’t get over what you did to my friend”
“I know it’s too late to say this but I’m so sorry about everything I’ve done” Angel gave the most sincere, heart-felt apology of his life. “I’ll do anything I can to make this up to you and to Dennis”
“What about Wes and Gunn Angel?”
“All of you, but you were the most important” he replied, finishing off his coffee and setting the mug back on the table with a little clunk. “I’ve made such a mess of things haven’t I?”
“Yeah and it’s gonna take more than your obsessive cleanliness to mop this one up. But I know you can, I know you Angel and you know me”
“No I don’t” he told her honestly and ruefully, “But I’m going to get to know you because I want you back”
“I want you back to, we want you back. Can you fix this?”
“I think I can do that but you have to promise not to leave me.”
“I think I can do that.”
Three months later…
Angel walked through the doors of the hotel, his broadsword in one hand and a small paper bag in the other, “Cordy?” he called out loudly when he approached her desk and looked around for her.
“Cordy?” he called out again when he got no answer, “Cordy, where are you?” a little louder this time.
Again he got a responding silence, so he tried the one thing he knew would get her attention.
“I guess she doesn’t want to get her present then” Angel sighed dramatically and leaned on her desk, feeling the air swirl around him after a few moments. “Hey Dennis, where is she?” he asked when the present got him no response. a note dropped to his feet and he bent over to pick it up.
“Angel” he read with a confused expression, “I’m tired so I went to sleep and was asleep before you came in bellowing for my attention. Now I’m wide awake, good job” he smiled a little half smile and began searching for a pen and paper to write a note back to her.
“Cordy” Angel started, “What’s with the note writing? Are you gonna ask me to check boxes next? Get your ass down here, I’ve got something for you” he watched as the note floated up the stairs and waited for Cordelia to come down to get what he bought her.
Sure enough, she awkwardly jogged down the stairs in her stupidly high heels that click-clacked against the floor of the lobby. “Gimme gimme gimme”
“Women all the same” Angel muttered affectionately and held out the small paper bag, “It’s not much really but I know you like them”
Gunn and Wesley watched the blinding smile Cordelia gave to the vampire before sharing her jelly bears with him. How come Angel never bought them jelly bears? How come Angel always showered her with attention? Why didn’t Angel ever hold the doors for them? What was so special about Cordelia?
“He’s definitely trying to get into Barbie’s pants” was Gunn’s conclusion.