Evil Angelus

AUTHOR: SUNSCORCHED (aka JUDI)
SUMMARY: Angelus gets to know Cordelia’s greatest fear!
RATING: PG13
POSTED: 30 Sep 2003
CATEGORY: HUMOR
CONTENT/PAIRING: CORDELIA/ANGELUS
WARNINGS: None Listed
FICPIC CREDIT: N/A
AUTHOR NOTES: NONE
STATUS: Complete


“EEEEE!” Cordelia yelped as she backed away in fear, her heart racing and pounding against her ribcage. Sweat made her hands clammy and hair stick to her forehead, eyes wide with terror.

Angelus smirked with triumph she had seen him and knew what he would do to her. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on her delectable body and taste her blood. He went to move towards her when her words stopped him.

“I am so not afraid of you, you-you thing” Cordelia yelled, clearly she was terrified beyond belief. “You think you can worm your way around here and scare people like that? Well, let me tell you something kiddo”

Kiddo? Angelus cocked his head in amusement, he was at least ten times her age.

“I am going to stop you” Cordelia rocked back and forth on heels as she made the threat, nodding firmly and shaking a finger. “Make no mistake about it, you will be sorry you ever came up against me. I will make your terror rampage seem like Christmas”

Cordelia went to take a confident step forward but quickly scurried back to her original position. “Listen up. You come in here with your hair and your teeth and your short, little legs expecting everyone to cower away like a frightened girl. Well guess what” she said in a shaky voice.

Angelus glanced down at his legs, they weren’t that short were they? And what was wrong with his hair and teeth? Why would his hair be scary? Sure, it stuck straight up but he imagined that it looked good.

“I have seen fashion disasters way more terrifying than you. In fact, you aren’t even terrifying at all, you don’t even measure on the scary scale let alone terrifying” Cordelia yelled.

“Now see here you little shrimp, you can’t hide from me no matter how hard you try. Because I’m the Queen of this school and things the likes of you really don’t scare me” Cordelia sneered arrogantly as she tossed her hair over her shoulder.

Cordelia took a deep, confidence building breath as she prepared to defend the girls’ locker room with everything she had. “All right, you wanna go one on one with me? Do ya? Because if you do then there’s something you oughta know you little creep. Things in this town are scared of the wrong girl, most of em run when they see widdle CryBuffy come a’runnin. I have something she’ll never have”

Cordelia pulled her best death glare, “I have fashion sense and a good hair stylist. Now, I’m gonna give you choice little guy. You can either run away and never come back, or you and me can have a rumble”

Angelus stared in admiration at the girl who was threatening him with exceptional gusto even though she was extremely terrified despite saying he wasn’t all that scary. Cordelia Chase now had his undivided attention as she stood there threatening him.

“All right, if it’s a rumble you’re lookin for you freakazoid, then bring it on” Cordelia said as she put her hands on her hips and spread her feet apart.

“HYYYAAAHHH!” she yelled as she pounced on the towel that the spider was hiding in. She started to stomp all over her towel on the floor desperately. Jumping up and down, making sure she was hitting every part of the towel with her feet.

“Take that, and that and that” Cordelia yelled triumphantly as she shoved her hair away from her face. “Let’s see you get outta that alive buster. I don’t think so”

Angelus’ jaw dropped when she started acting like a crazy person and going nuts on the towel. It occured to him that she didn’t know he was there and he was obviously not the thing she was threatening.

Cordelia stepped backwards away from her towel, “Oh yeah, I’m bad” she said. “I just killed a spider, oh my God that is a personal achievement, I so rule”

Just then, the small black hairy spider walked out from under a bench behind her and through her spread feet, getting her attention.

“It’s alive!” Cordelia yelped as she dashed across the room, right into Angelus.

“Don’t just stand there, killitkillitkillit!” she yelped at him.

Angelus moved Cordelia to one side as he went to pick up the spider, he pretended to squash it with his boot. Keeping a hold of it behind his back. “Dead” he told her, keeping his evil grin hidden.

“I’ll give you half of everything I own if you don’t kill me” Cordelia told him seriously.

“No need, your little spout of craziness will give me hours of entertainment” Angelus replied as he went closer to her.

“I’m supposed to believe you won’t kill me just because I acted like Buffy on a high?” Cordelia deadpanned.

“If I wanted you dead, you wouldn’t be talking to me right now” Angelus pointed as he moved his hand to his side. “There is one thing you could do to thank me for taking care of your little problem”

“What’s that? Provide you with a little snack? I seriously don’t think so, I’ve already offered you half of my possessions” Cordelia snapped.

Angelus let his evil grin loose as he raised his hand that held the spider, “You could entertain me for a little longer”

With that, the vampire dropped the spider down Cordelia’s top as she watched in horror.

“AAARRRGGGHHH, GET IT OFF MEEEE!”

 


…THE END…


 

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