An Angel’s Fate

AUTHOR: RACHELLE
SUMMARY: Angel receives an unexpected gift from dearly departed friends. He would not have received his gift without his Seer.
RATING: NC17
POSTED: 11 Jan 2004
CATEGORY: MILD ANGST
CONTENT/PAIRING: C/A in AtS Season 3, post-ep ‘Provider’, B/A referenced
WARNINGS: Language and Sexual Content
FICPIC CREDIT: N/A
AUTHOR NOTES: Another crafty, AU idea of mine!
STATUS: Complete


She had once been know as the “Nastiest Girl In Sunnydale.” Or “Queen C.” which had been so aptly put on the license plate of her Camero. But all those titles and the privileges of being wealthy have since been stripped away from her, those glory days at Sunnydale High. Now, she is just Cordelia Chase, never plain and just as beautiful, when she had been sporting her latest designer fashions with the Cordettes.

In search of stardom, Cordelia came to Los Angeles to prove to any and everyone just how important she was to society. But as fate would see it, Miss Chase would impact the world not as a celebrity, but as the Seer. By a celestial oops, she was given the ability to the receiver of powerful visions set down to her by the Powers That Be. With these visions, the innate goodness that had always been within her, was set free.

As Cordelia Chase, she isn’t too aware of that importance, but someone else sees. Someone, that when we all first met him, only thought that his destiny of love would remain with a Slayer. The Slayer named Buffy Summers. How could anyone have known that his true path of salvation through love, would be with the girl who once scoffed at the idea of anyone doing good for another was pathetic.

Which is were we lay our scene.

****

Angel leaned across the desk, looking at his son Connor, lying asleep in Cordelia’s arms.

His son.

It was still a shock to him. He was a father. Once he was Liam O’Malley, a drunken, whoring disgrace to his father and family. Then during one dark night of mindless attraction to a beautiful aristocrat, all chance of living a human life was lost.

He was turned into Angelus, the one with the angelic face. A vampire so vicious, he was feared by his own kind. For nearly 200 years, he and Darla, that lovely vampire who sired him, wrecked havoc onto all those who came their way.

One mistake of feeding off the favorite daughter of a Romanian Gypsy tribe, changed our Angelus once more. He was cursed, with his soul and conscience restored, to remain as a vampire knowing the things he had done, and to care.

For nearly a century, he swam in his pain, alone and not caring what happened to him. But one girl would change that for him. The one girl in all the world who was chosen to stop evil, the Slayer. The irony of a vampire with a soul loving the Slayer, and Buffy, chosen to destroy all vampires, loving him back. Their intense passion for each other would eventually harm all, one moment of complete and total contentment, would strip his soul from him. Angel reverted into Angelus, the Scourge of Europe, making chaos his gift to those he had come to protect. The demon within was set free and Angelus now wanted to set Hell free on earth.

In the end, after Angelus had set Acathla free to open the vortex to hell. Willow, Buffy’s best friend, was able to restore Angel’s soul. Buffy and Angel only had a moment before she had to do what she was destined for, to advert the apocalypse. The Slayer killed her lover, knowing he had once more been cursed with his soul. She chose duty and the world over his existence.

Months later, for purposes yet to be brought to light, Angel was set free from hell. It was only months by our time, but for Angel, several lifetimes of unknowable torment. His return would bring forth new emotions of trust and security. Could Angel turn into Angelus again?

Buffy and Angel were destined to love each other, but they were not destined to be with one another. After the Mayor was killed, Angel knew he had to leave her for Los Angeles. He needed to redeem himself to the world and Buffy had go on with her fight against the forces of darkness.

He never realized he could love again.

Or to become some cosmic force to go against all knowledge that vampires could not have children. He and Darla had one night of indiscreet passion, because of his despair over losing Darla’s humanity to the sadistic law firm, Wolfram & Hart. That one night caused Darla to become pregnant, a phenomenon that put all their lives into danger. The result, a human baby boy borne of two
vampires who were once the most devilish pair in the world.

Darla staked herself so her son could live, she had developed complete love within her because of a child, who was miraculously growing in her lifeless body. Darla had given him Connor. The miracle child who would impact the destiny of the world.

And that very miracle was being held by the woman he was growing to love. Cordelia.

****

“Angel?”

“Huh?” Angel lifted his head from his hand, startled from his thoughts. Cordelia was standing by the front desk with Connor in his stroller. She was wearing a long, snug fitting burgundy day dress that left nothing to the imagination about her curves. “Yeah,” he said clearing his throat.

“Look Connor, your daddy’s finally noticed us,” she laughed, “Mr. Connor and I are going to take a stroll for awhile, okay?”

Angel stood up, “Do you think that’s a good idea, Cordy? It may still be a little dangerous out there.” Have her breasts always been that ample, he thought. Realizing he was staring, he quickly snapped his head up. “It could be dangerous out there with the demons out for Connor.”

“Angel,” she said, as she came to a stop in front of him, “Every day is a little dangerous, even without demons. Connor needs to get some fresh air and sunlight. So relax vampire daddy, me and the little angel will be just fine. You know I always carry a weapon of sorts.” With that, Cordelia spun on her heal pushing Connor, who was cooing with contentment. And Angel watching her every movement with fierce admiration, the scent of her jasmine perfume lingered.

“You know Angel food cake, you are just an open book.”

Lorne had just come down from the grand staircase of Angel’s hotel, the Hyperion, just in time to witness the brief exchange by Angel and Cordelia. The green, karaoke singing, psychic demon was once again flaunting another of his elaborate, rat pack suits. This one an odd mix of orange, green, and blue.

Smiling nervously, Angel slipped passed him into the office, “What do you mean an ‘open book?” He sat down in a huff, flipping aimlessly through a magazine on Wesley’s desk.

Giving Angel an exasperated glare, Lorne took a seat in front of the desk, and leaned forward, “I am tired of seeing you beat around the bush, earth Angel. Time to put things that are in obvious perspective into motion.” Lorne reached out and snagged Wesley’s favorite mints and began to make them disappear.

Still hiding behind Wesley’s copy of England Weekly, Angel sank deeper into the chair. “What new perspective are you yapping about now, Lorne?”

“I was never the kind to just spit anything out,” exclaimed Lorne, rolling his eyes, “My family always did that, so disgusting! I know you’re supposed to respect the people that gave you life, but really Angel-”

“Lorne.” Angel tossed the magazine down, “What do you want to say, man?”

“Oh,” Lorne began laughing, “There I go about my dysfunctional family again. Sorry, vamp. You’re in love with our newly turned half-demon Seer aren’t you?”

Angel bolted up from the chair, causing it to crash into Wesley’s bookcase of prized demon anthologies. His face a mask of open resentment. “Whoa, there, I am not in love with some Seeker!”

“Dense,” Lorne said softly to himself, leaning back, “You are in love with Cordelia, the Seer, not a Seeker. Did you go watch Harry Potter or something?” Angel gaped at him and was now starting to walk back and forth.

“Lorne, that is absured, how can I be in love with Cordy. She’s Cordelia!”

Rolling his eyes, “Duh! I know she’s Cordelia, just like everyone here. And I also know you are in love with the brunette vixen.” Lorne stated, watching as Angel became more agitated with every second. Fun!

“You don’t understand, Lorne. Cordelia is, well she’s-” Angel was sputtering, really a funny thing from Lorne’s viewpoint. “She’s my best friend and she was once the most egotistical girl at her high school!”

Gulping down the last of the mints, Lorne stood up, “Past tense there, buddy. Cordelia is no longer in high school and she is not that same egotistical girl, from what I hear. Kind of went through a ‘Powers That Be make-over,’ right?.”

That’s the understatement of the year, Angel mused. It was still amazing to see that fiery, brave beauty finally become the woman she is today.

Lorne rose from the chair and came over to Angel, resting a green hand on his shoulder. “What’s the problemo, amigo? You have some pent up trauma over all this, cause it’s just radiating off your aura like the aftermath of nuclear blast! Tell me what’s going on under all that hair gel.”

Angel resumed his seat at the desk, rubbing his head in his hands as Lorne went to sit down as well. “Lorne, I thought the only girl in the world I could ever love was Buffy. She was strong, beautiful, selfless. Hell! She sent me there to protect the world! I never dreamed that someone could come around who has those same qualities. I mean, Cordy was always beautiful and strong, I always admired her strength.”

Lorne stomach was growling again so he reached over and attacked Wesley’s chips.

“She was so brave back in Sunnydale, still is. More so now,” Angel continued, “Cordelia was the strangest girl, though. Always at odds with everyone and her antics!” He began to burst out laughing. “Cordy did have a crush on me at one point, tying to best Buffy all the time…,” Angel grew quite.

“What?” Lorne was relishing hearing about ego-Cordelia.

“She, uh,” Angel began again, pressing his hands down on his gray slacks, “Cordy’s crush on me ended when she found out that I really was a vampire.”

Sighing, Lorne leaned back in his chair, total understanding washing over him like the Zest soap he used that morning. “You think Cordy-kins will not return your love because you are a vampire, is that it?”

“Maybe.”

“Angel, she is not the girl she once was. Cordelia is not that same self imposed, little snot she was in Sunnydale,” Lorne sat on the desk, causing Wesley’s imported jade lamp to fall, breaking to pieces on the marble floor, “Whoops! I’ll buy him another one. Anyhow, kitten is now a more mature, half-demon herself who choose to become that way to keep her visions, helping those that need us. Helping you in your quest for redemption.”

There was a calming silence now settiling in the room.

Angel glanced up at Lorne, a small smile at the corner of his lips. “I love Cordelia Chase, Lorne!” God, it felt so good to say it! Like a great burden being lifted, and only bliss…

“To be honest,” he continued, a sudden flush of shame washing over him, “It’s a different love than what I felt for Buffy. It feels right in every way, complete. How can that be?” Angel did not notice the faraway stare that Lorne just got in his eyes as he continued, “How can I love any woman more than Buffy?”

Lorne nodded his head agreeing, “Angel, do you believe in soul mates?”

Angel raised his eyebrows, not knowing how to truly answer that, “Well,” he began, rubbing his hand behind his neck in confusion, “It kind of goes with the whole destiny- uh, Lorne, I guess! Vampires exist.” Lorne started to howl with laughter.

“Well, braise yourself for this roller coaster,” he said, just as a huge crash sounded from upstairs in the hotel.
“Sorry,” Fred shouted from above, “Just moving my bookcase, don’t mind me none!” Winifred Burkle, Fred for short, was the eccentric human girl they had rescued from Lorne’s homeworld of Pylea. Fred was a brilliant girl who was studying physics when she was transported, while working at her library, to a world that breeds humans for slaves. She was trapped there for five years before Angel and his friends went there to rescue Cordelia, who vanished the same way.

“Good show, girl,” Lorne shouted back, he turned back to Angel, “Soul mates, yes! Angel, Buffy and yourself were meant to find each other, to heal one another. You were lost within that soul of yours and Buffy did not believe she would ever get to experience love, being a Slayer and all.”

Angel was getting confused and a little scared at what Lorne was getting at. “Are you tying to say that Buffy and I were not soul mates?”

“Well, in a sense, no. Souls are destined to meet, in the case of you and Buffy, but she was not your true soul mate,” Lorne could see that this was disturbing Angel, “But that does not mean that you two did not love each other, you did!”

“I know that.”

“Angel,” he continued, “Cordelia is your true soul mate.”

“How can that be possible,” Angel questioned, his voice raising slightly, “From all the known, rare instenses of soul mates, it is supposed to be sudden and they cannot stand to be parted once they have found each other.”

“Your soul is not exactly pure,” Lorne explained delicately, “It resides in the same body of a demon, kind of damping the celestial aspects of connecting with it’s counterpart. Think of this, you have known and been around Cordelia longer than with Buffy, right?”

“True.”

“You both ended up in L.A. around the same time, right?”

“Yeah.”

Lorne leaped off the desk, throwing his hand’s up in the air. “Hello?! May not have been sudden, and not all are by the way, but you are connected. Always have been.” Lorne cocked his head to the side, thinking. “In fact, I am quite certain you two crossed paths during your life as Liam.”

Angel jerked his head sharply at Lorne, his eyes glowing with dark fire, “Excuse me?”

“Do you remember a little black haired girl, born on Halloween, with eyes that were cat green?”

Angel reached back into the past, trying to find a face that matched Lorne’s discription, through the haze of all the faces he had seen in his years. Didn’t take too long.

Her name was Aidan Kilbraye. Her father had been a Scot, Jamie Kilbraye, who came to Ireland to wed Meary McKenna, a beauty who lived near his village. Jamie Kilbraye chose to live in Ireland with his family because his wife loved the land. He wanted to make her happy. Their fourth child was a little girl, ten years younger than Liam. She was born on All Hallow’s Eve, a wicked portent in Ireland. And her eyes were as green as a cat’s with gold flecks. Little Aidan Kilbraye didn’t have many friends, but she did have an older friend, Liam O’Malley. He hated the idea that this little darling was always teased. It wasn’t her fault what day she was born and what color her eyes were, she was innocent. Aidan adored Liam and swore one day they would marry and have green-eyed babies.

Angel chuckled at the memory, then his eyes grew dark. Aidan and her family moved to the Colonies a month before that fateful meeting with Darla in the alley. He remembered he was deeply sadden by this, but now as Angel recalled this, he was relived they had not stayed in Ireland. As Angelus, he would have surely destroyed the blossoming girl and her family, as he would later do to another raven haired beauty.

Lorne was watching the emotions that flashed over his friend’s face as those memories surfaced. “Had it all gone differently,” Lorne began, shocking Angel out of his past. “You would have had a family with Aidan.”

“She would have been fifteen in one month.”

“She came back to find you three years later,” said Lorne, hating the idea that this was painful for the sweet vampire brute. “Aidan found out your family had died. Then she went to your grave.”

Angel could see it all in his head, little Aidan Kilbraye, now a young beauty of seventeen, looking down at his grave in Ireland, not knowing it was empty. Not knowing what had really happened to him, or what he, as Angelus, had done to his family and friends. And countless others.

Angel rose from Wesley’s chair and went into the lobby, ashamed at the memories that surfaced. The evil he had wrought. He didn’t know what to make of all this. The fates giving him Buffy, then taking all of that comfort away for the pursuit of redemption. Involved in some unknown future with a son, that by all laws of the supernatural and natural, should not exist. Now, his heart was lost again.

Turning around abruptly, Angel glaring at Lorne, who had followed him out of the office. “How can I love again, Lorne? How is it that the Powers That Be allow this to happen! I will not have Cordy hurt the way-,” he paused looking down at the floor, “Like the way I hurt Buffy.”

“I think it will all be okay.”

“Right,” scoffed Angel, shaking his head in disgust, “Just another cosmic thing, huh? Find that one perfect moment of happiness and Cordy and my son- everyone lies in jeopardy! Well to hell with that. The Powers can just forget about Cordy being my soul mate.”

Contentment is no longer a problem, cupcake Lorne thought to himself. “Angel, when you went to see the Oracles, to turn back time they gave you gift.”

Angel was dumfounded, “How do you know I went to see them about that? Only I was to remember that. And only Doyle knew after I told him, and now he’s gone. How do you know?”

Lorne knew this was starting to pile up on the vamp, emotional overload. He knew that Angel was trying to focus as the lone, dark warrior of good, destined never to love another woman whose name was not ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’. News flash, focusing will not stop the inevitable. And Cordelia was inevitable.

“I am a psychic, Angel. My powers are not just limited to reading singing fools!”

Angel looked down at the green marble floor, unsure of how to pursue this conversation further. “Well, how did you know?”

Lorne stepped over to him, placing a comforting green hand on his shoulder, “I was shown when you were given back your soul.” Lorne couldn’t help but grin at Angel’s pure expression of shock. “Kinda neat, huh?”

Could it be, he marveled, as he slowly drifted away from Lorne… Angel felt as if the world was both ending and beginning at the same time. “I feel it! I felt it!” His mind was racing, with possibilities and the dangers that would now be put to rest. “How? God, Lorne! When?!” Angel shouted, his eyes shining in wonderment.

Taking a seat on the rose, lobby couch, Lorne began his tale.

“The Oracles, namely the sister, were so impressed that you were willing to revert back to a vampire for the sake of the world, they altered the curse. Granted, you just now got it. The catch was that your soul would become permanent when you realized you loved your soul mate. Cordelia.”

Reeling in shock, Angel sank to the cold floor of his hotel. He was just given back his soul, and he didn’t even realize. Had not even know that there was that possibility for him.

“The sister Oracle, she kind of hinted to you what would happen,” Lorne teased.

Angel jerked his head up, “What do you mean? When?”

“Well,” Lorne drawled, “She said, and I quote, ‘You want to go back to what you were, a demon with a soul.’ She never said a demon cursed with a soul, she said with. Cute and tricky wasn’t she?”

He could feel it more so now, that horrible thin tread he had been holding onto for so long was now cut. His soul was permanent, and no one could take it from him again. All because he had admitted that he loved Cordelia, stubborn Cordy.

“Why couldn’t they have told me? I came so close to losing myself those past few months. I hurt Cordy.”

Lorne sighed, truly not knowing the answers as to why the Oracles had chosen to give back Angel’s soul in this method. What he had gathered from the brief, celestial realization when Angel confessed his love for Cordelia, was that Angel needed to discover love again, true love. The Oracles put forth that when he found his true soul mate, where upon he confessed his love for her, his soul would become his. Maybe that’s what the Powers That Be had in mind all along, giving Cordelia the visions after Doyle died. To bring the Champion together with his Seer, two souls meant to be united. One soul had been living without the other. Maybe…

“Angel, what exactly was Cordelia like in Sunnydale?”

“Huh?” Angel was shaken from his thoughts, “Oh, well, stuck up, rude, a little bitter-”

Lorne’s wheels were turning in his head and he liked it a lot, “Dumpling, maybe the reason why Cordelia was such a mega-bitch was because she was being denied her soul mate! A soul that was being born again without it’s match, it’s mate!” Lorne hopped from his seat and began to a gleeful gig at his discovery.

Angel did not get it. Rising from his sitting position on the floor, “What the hell are you talking about, Lorne?”

“Good golly, Mr. Denseness! You just never see it do you? When a soul is being sent back without it’s mate, it becomes… bitter! Especially over a max amount of time. Your soul could not go back to her because you were a vampire. She was sent back during your times as Angelus, but she could not find you. When a vampire is created, the soul cannot complete it’s cycle, the journey to reincarnation.”

This was starting to make sense, weird and unusual sense, but sense. If what Lorne was saying is true, Cordelia’s soul, her very essence had been sent back to earth, but her soul mate could not. “But I had my soul for nearly 90 years before I went to Sunnydale, Lorne.”

“She must not have been reincarnated at that time” Lorne began, passing around the marble floor. “Because she would have needed to find you. Or it was for a brief passing. Regardless of how much time given, your souls have to meet each other. It’s a cosmic flux!”

This was unreal. If it was all true, that the moment his soul was cursed onto him by the Kaldarash, his soul mate was trying to find him.

“So, even if we just passed each other or met in a subway station, that would still count?”

“Hell yes it would! And that would make more sense, given that her soul was denied you for so long, and you had just gotten yours back. Tainted of course. But just even a brush or a glimpse, would have begun the healing process of the souls.” Lorne stomped his foot in triumph. “Damn I’m good!”

Aidan. Cordelia. Angel’s heart was breaking in bittersweet realization, his beautiful Cordy’s soul had been suffering without his. Cursed, in her own way, to be given life over again with a piece missing from her… him. While his soul was dormant in the ether, she was being forced to continue on.

“God, Lorne,” Angel began, his eyes shining with tears, “How long her soul was without mine in the world, over a hundred years.”

“I know, dumpling,” he sympathized. Lorne understood how hard it was to accept your own suffering, but to realize that someone you loved was suffering too, without even having a clue, was devastating. “Take in this Angel, when you arrived to Sunnydale. She truly began to heal. Slowly, and very subtlety, evolving into the spectacular kitten we have today!”

Angel’s expression started to soften. “I thought it was because of Xander and the rest of the gang.”

“Well, a little bit,” Lorne confessed, “But who does she even talk to in that town besides Willow? Not a one! And that is the main reason she could never get along with Buffy. Blondie was stealing her soul mate and kitten couldn’t figure it out. It was still too dim.”

But my very presence was healing her soul, Angel thought, feeling warm and comforted by that. His mind and heart had been so fused with the notion of Buffy as his destiny, he never truly thought that something more vast was leading him to his true fate. And she tried, he fondly recalled, she tried to get me from Buffy.

“It makes sense to me, Lorne. Odd and confusing, but I understand,” he whispered, as he drifted over to the main lobby doors, the doors she would walk through again, to him. He had never had a true friend until she waltzed into his life three years ago. And now he had a true love. How would he ever tell her?

“Oh, God, how do I tell Cordy?” Angel sputtered, suddenly feeling like a school boy again. It was one thing to love someone, but to tell them and hope they return it, a nightmare.

“Tell me what?” Came a soft voice behind them.
Angel and Lorne whipped around, to find Cordelia coming in from the rear courtyard entrance behind them, a motherly vision with Connor.

Oh, boy…

“Uh,” Lorne began, as moved in to Cordelia, swooping down to grab Connor out of his stroller, “Angel has some things he needs to tell you, so, uh, Fred and I are going to Aunt Blue’s”

Angel’s shot daggers into Lorne’s back as the green demon lifted Connor. He better not leave me alone!

Lorne could feel the look Angel was giving him and chuckled, as he started to gather the baby’s things. “Fred, get down here, girl!”

Cordelia Chase placed her hands on her hips, and shifted her gaze from Angel to Lorn. Something was going on. Whatever, she thought, as she pushed Connor’s stroller into the office. “Alright, Angel, so is something rotten in the state of Denmark or what? And who is Aunt Blue?

She knew Hamlet?

Angel had no idea what to do. The love of his life had just walked in on a very vulnerable moment and he hated being vulnerable! What was he gonna say?- “Cordy, I love you more than any woman in the world and I can prove it because we’re soul mates! “Not bloody likely, he huffed to himself, as he shoved his hands in his pockets. Great, now I’m shuffling my feet like a green boy!

Just then, Fred Burkle bounded down the staircase, a bubbling fizz of hyper ness. “Hey Lorne! What are we doing?” The Texan looked adorable in sleeveless, white hourglass blouse and frayed bell-bottoms.

Lorne handed Connor to her, as the baby began to burble bubbles, “You, me, and the sugar plum are going to Aunt Blue’s this evening.”

“Who’s Aunt Blue, someone from Pylea?”

“Oh, hell no!” Lorne stated, his face contorting in familial disgust. “Aunt Blue’s is a 100% smoke-free environment devoted to singing, doll. And we are going there- for a few hours!” He began pushing Fred and the baby towards the rear door, “We will see you later. Oh! Wes and Gunn will be gone for awhile, too! They said something earlier about, celebrating a ‘home-boy’s’ birthday, so that should be plenty of time! Tootles!”

With that, he shut the door behind them.

Cordelia was reeling in bewilderment, “Plenty of time for what?!” She shouted to Lorne, but he was gone. She shook her head in confusion. She and the baby had come back from a nice little stroll, and the male demon duo were all talkety-talkety until she came! And I know it was about me cause I heard my name, she fumed, as marched over to Angel.

Folding her arms over her chest, she glared up at Angel, who was standing like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. All cute, innocent, and guilty at the same time! Unnerving.

“Angel,” she said slowly, “You know I pride myself on being blunt and to the point, so here goes. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!” She shouted, giving a stomp of her foot.

God she was amazing when she was mad! Her hazel eyes were shining, and that burgundy dress still revealed that ample cleavage. She was like an enraged goddess before him, Athena and Aphrodite in one. And he felt like a mere mortal looking at divinity.

“Well,” he started, rubbing his hands together, “I want to tell you everything, but can we discuss this upstairs? I don’t want any interruptions.” Angel turned around and went to the main lobby doors, getting his master keys from his pocket, and locked them. Drawing in an unnecessary breath, he turned back to her. “Is that alright, Cordy?” She was looking at him funny.

Locking the doors, everyone away, weird. “O… kay,” she shrugged, turning to go upstairs to his suite. What a dork she mused.

Smiling with unsuppressed glee, he followed her upstairs, his eyes watching her every sway.

****

They had been sitting across from each other, for five long minutes of silence, Angel on the settee and Cordelia at the end of his bed. The both of them eyeing the other in uncomfortable silence. Well, Angel thought, as he leaned forward his elbows on his knees, here goes something I hope.

“Cordy, I don’t really know where to begin.”

Arching an elegant eyebrow, Cordelia chuckled, “How about you begin somewhere, hmmm?”

Fair enough.

“Ah, my soul is permanent.”

She almost fell off the bed. “Your soul is wha-what?!”

Cordelia Chase was sputtering, had this been during any other moment than this, he would have been howling with laughter. “It happened today, Cordy. My soul was given to me.” Angel, frowned as he saw the flash of emotions across her face. Delight, fear, wonderment…

Cordelia didn’t know what to think. There was so much to take in. This was good, no more Angelus, no more brood master! But this was bad, he would take their baby to Sunnydale and be with Princess Buffy-Slay!

“First of all, why the hell didn’t you tell me earlier?!”

“Because it happened after you and Connor left, Cordy!”

Rolling her eyes, she lurched to her feet, almost stumbling in her new black, healed sandals. Figures he would get his soul when she was not around! Just perfect for him to go back to his angst-affair with Buffy. How convenient, I’m surprised he even told me, she thought in misery. The bitch-boy, I became a half-demon for his cute ass! How the hell could she ever thought she could be something to him like Buffy was? Is!

“So, I guess we came up here to pack your stuff?” She stated dully, as she marched over to his closet and began to gather his suitcases, violently grabbing his clothes off the rack.

What the fuck was she doing? This was not how she was supposed to take this! This was happy time and she was not happy! Angel stormed over to her, growling as he yanked her by her arm to face him. Fierce hazel eyes clashing with raging brown. A slight electric vibe pulsed through them, causing them to gasp.

“Cordy, what are you doing? I’m not going anywhere!”

Jerking his arm from his grip, wincing at the slight pull, “Of course you are! She’s waiting for you.” She pushed past him, over to the balcony windows. The sun had finally set, and the sky was a brilliant purple. Cordelia felt her eyes well with hot tears, as she leaned over the railing.

Angel immediately followed her outside, looking at her slumped shoulders that were shaking slightly. Who was waiting for him? Did she think…

“You think I’m going back to Buffy, don’t you?”

Cordelia stiffened as felt him stand behind her in the night air. She could feel him approaching her. She didn’t want him this close to her, not when he was going to leave her. Defense mode.

“Wasn’t that always the plan, Angel,” she whispered, “Returning to her once you knew it was safe? To the love of your life.” Cordelia swung around to face him, startled at the glint in his eyes. “What, Angel? Please, do not give me a righteous speech about beginning a little angry, when I chose to forsake a normal life for you! I wanted to stay with you.” Tears began to well up again.

“Did I ever say I was going to leave?!”

He began to advance closer to her, taking a step backward, she gasped as she came up against the rail. There was no were to go, and he was coming closer.

“Answer my question, Cordelia?”

“I-,” she whispered, drowning in is eyes, “No-no, but..”

Angel stopped until he was mere inches from her.

Her head dropped down to her chest, as she fought the tears from spilling. When he had touched her in the room, something had happened. An electric pulse had coursed through her. She was beginning to remember things she was not supposed to remember.

Gasping suddenly, Cordelia looked beyond Angel into a vision.

****

“I don’t want to go, Liam!”

A beautiful black haired girl no more than fifteen, in a common 18th century dress was pouting at her. Startled, Cordelia looked around and saw bright green countryside was all around her and she could hear the ocean. She could smell it.

“But you have to, lass. I know you don’t, I don’t want you to go, but have to.”

Cordelia spun around at the sound of the soft, male Irish brogue.

“Angel?” She whispered, but knew he could not hear her. Angel’s hair was longer, he was wearing loose breeches, and a black vest over a white, pirate looking shirt. It was sunlight and he had color! He was speaking with an Irish accent, so was the girl! “Oh my God!” She was getting a vision of Angel in the past, a human man named Liam in Ireland!

Angel, no Liam, passed by her, going over to the crying girl. “Aidan, sweet, you have to go with your family to the Colonies.”

“But I want to stay wi’ you!”

Cordelia’s heart broke for the girl, she was going to America and leaving her homeland behind. And it was so adorable, she had a crush on him.

“Sweet, if I could keep you I would, but I can’t. And I don’t fancy the Colonies at all! Even if they do hate the English.” He poked her in the arm, when he saw a small grin peak out on her lovely face. She would make a fine wife when she came of age!

“Promise you’ll wait for me, Liam? I’ll come back to Ireland so that we can marry and have green eyed babies!” She brazenly declared, jaunting out her jaw stubbornly. There was something about the way she moved…

Liam laughed, as he swooped down to swing her into his strong arms. “I promise!”

Suddenly there was a blinding white light, as the young couple before her vanished, their laughter tinkling like the sound of a music box.

Cordelia then found herself in a graveyard.

The sky was gray, and mist was forming around her. It must be around morning, she thought, as she glanced around, she felt she was still in Ireland.

She suddenly caught movement from beyond the headstones before her. It was the girl, Aidan. The girl began to move through the rows as Cordelia followed her. She seemed taller, and she was dressed with a hooded, black cloak over her white dress.

Aidan came to halt before, what appeared to be, a family plot. Cordelia counted four headstones in front of her. The girl collapsed to her knees in front of one.

“Oh, are you alright?” It was pure instinct on Cordelia’s part, realizing that the girl could not hear her. She knelt by the girl, wishing she could give a comforting hand. “It will be okay, I know your family is in a safe place.”

Aidan had begun to cry, big heart wrenching sobs that seemed to come from her soul. “Liam,” she sobbed, burying her face into her hands as she continued to morn.

Cordelia gasped in realization. I’m at Angel’s grave! Swiveling her gaze from the girl, she bore her eyes into the name on the headstone- LIAM DUBHDARA O’MALLEY 1728-1753. “Oh, Angel,” whispered, reaching out to caress his name, her fingers passing through the stone.

Cordelia felt her own tears welling up again, as she tore her gaze from the grave, back to Aidan. The girl brought her tear stained face up, boring her cat-green eyes into Cordelia’s. No.

She was staring at herself, but it was not her and yet it was!

“He promised me. Why did he leave me?”

Cordelia stumbled to her feet, her eyes wide in fear and realization as she staggered away from the girl, shaking her head in denial.

“No, no, no…”

****

“But what, Cordelia?” Angel demanded, frustrated that she had not answered him. She had just gone into some weird space out mode. He didn’t like it when she tried to block him out.

“Cordelia!”

Still reeling from her vision, Cordelia shoved past him, back into the bedroom. He doesn’t know I just had a vision, she marveled, still shaken up over what she had seen. She was supposed to have been with him. Cordelia rubbed her hands over her face, reeling. He left her!

Cordelia slumped to floor in anguish. They were supposed to be together.

Angel had no idea what to think, as he watched her collapse. Running back into the room, he came down beside her, lifting her slack form into his arms. He placed her gently on the bed, and smoothed her short brown locks from her brow. Angel was worried, as he saw the vacant stare in her eyes. Did she have a vision? Primed on trying to make her comfortable, he proceeded to take off her sandals.

“You promised me you would wait for me, Liam.”

Angel froze, staring at her bare feet, his hands trembling. Cordelia had just spoken with an Irish accent, a perfect accent and she had just called him Liam. Angel took a step back, as she brought herself into a sitting position on the bed, drawing her legs away from him.

“But you didn’t.”

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. All he could do was gape at her as she bore her eyes into his, she was trembling with rage, her burgundy dress was being worried in her hands.

“I saw, Angel,” she whispered, reverting back to her normal voice, “I saw Ireland, you and her?” Tears were now feely falling down her checks. “You promised her you would wait, but you died! Why did you have to die?” Cordelia tore her eyes away from his, curling herself into a protective ball, as the sobs she had been trying to fight came forth.

Oh, God. She saw, she remembered! Angel felt his own eyes well up as he grasped what happen. She had been shown the last meeting that Liam and Aidan had had. He recalled the Irish countryside, and darling Aidan, ten years his junior, upset that she would leave her Liam. Her only true friend. His only true friend.

“Aidan, uh, Cordelia,” he choked out, slowly sinking down to the edge of the bed. “I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt her.”

“Well you did!” She fired back, pure Cordelia as she pushed herself away from him “You died with that blonde, eternal whore, leaving Aidan behind! Now you want to leave me behind for the other blonde called Little Miss Likes to Slay!” Cordelia was so frustrated and seething with new and old emotions. God I want to hit him, she raged, grabbing the nearest object to her, a down pillow and throwing it at his head.

She couldn’t help but give a small chuckle. She had hit him so hard, the pillow had burst open, and Angel had feathers falling all over him.

Angel blinked at the outburst, she just threw a pillow at me! Here I am, trying to confess to her how much I love her, and she throws a pillow? Angel glowered over at her, and could not suppress the delicious thrill he got, seeing her cringe away from the glint in his eyes.

Cordelia shrieked, as she realized what he was going to do, and tried to leap off the other side of the bed. But she was just not fast enough, as his steel grip pulled her to him by her legs. Growling, he pulled her struggling body to his, reveling that she could not get away from him. He had her placed firmly onto his lap, his hand wrapping her legs around him. Cordelia, in turn, growled at him as she proceeded to pummel him with her fists.

“Oh, no you don’t, you vixen!” Snarling, he wrenched her arms behind her back, pinning her writs in one large hand. Cordelia was breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling at her exertions, their eyes a battle of wills.

“Now, I am going to say what I wanted to say before you went into Def-Con 3, Cordelia. Understand?”

“Whatever,” she huffed, still trying to get away from him. Damn his vampire strength!

He could not believe her! “Whatever? Whatever! I’ll show you whatever!!” Grabbing the nape of her neck with his free hand, he brought her lips to his. The kiss was bruising and filled with all the passion that had been eating away at them for the past few months. Forcing her mouth open, he snaked in his tongue, making her give to him. Cordelia only resisted for a moment, then gave in dueling her tongue with his, occasionally pulling back to nip at his lips, causing them both to moan.

Angel didn’t want to, but he had to finish, as he forced himself from her mouth. God she tasted good, like strawberries and champagne! Or so he fondly recalled. Cordelia gave a grunt of protest.

“No, Cordy I have to finish,” he begged, as she tried to bring her mouth back to his. Torture.

He trembled as he brought his hand to cup her check, still moist from her earlier tears. “You and only you, are the reason that my soul was given to me.”

“What?”

Clearing his throat, he began his tale.

“There is so much to tell you. First of all, I’m sorry about Aidan. I understand how confusing and heart breaking it must have been to see the past that way. I wanted to tell you first, but you had the vision before I could.”

“Who was she, Angel? I think I know, but I want to hear it from you.”

Cordelia’s eyes widened as she saw the soft expression cross over his countenance. It made him look younger, like the past 248 years were being lifted, as he went back into the past.

“Aidan,” he began, “Was a beautiful girl who lived in my village of Galway, Ireland. She was precious to me, a creature of warmth and kindness.” Angel’s voice began to tremble as he drifted into his past. “I had known Aidan since she was born. Since the night of All Hallow’s Eve, when the old women in the village prayed for the soul of a green-eyed girl child born on the unholest night of the year. I was twenty-five, and she was barely fifteen, too young for marriage. But I knew, I knew one day when she came of age we would marry.”

Angel’s hands about her became slack, not putting up any struggle as she grasped his hands into hers, lacing her finger with his. “You loved her.”

“Aye,” Angel whispered, tears falling freely, pulling Cordelia closer to his body, not noticing his words held his soft, Irish brogue. “I did, but I never even thought that something would come to tear me away. She was only a girl, in the Colonies now, and I was a young rake only focusing on my pleasure. I did not know that Darla was a vampire, didn’t even realize when she bit me.”

“But I do know this, Cordelia. I loved Aidan more than anything in the world. My own self judgment clouded my feelings. Even though she was young, I should not have let my soul mate go. But I did, and maybe, it was good thing considering I would become Angelus.” His shoulder’s were shaking horribly now, as the sobs welled up from him. Cordelia instinctively grabbed him, pulling his head to her chest, her heart breaking as she felt him try and burrow himself.

“Shh, it’s okay.” She crooned in soothing tones. “She knew you loved her.”

Angel jerked his head up, staring wildly into her eyes. His glare causing her to tremble, as he grasped the sides of her head in his large hands. “Angel?”

“Of course I love you, Aidan! If I could turn back time I would have never let you go!”

“Angel, I am not Aidan.”

He began to shake his head. “No, you’re not now, but you were.”

“Angel? Please, your scaring me.”

She has to know, he reasoned. How could she not.

“Cordelia, don’t you know who you were? Who you are? You saw us together. That long ago day near the Irish shore.” Angel shivered in frustration as he read the denial in her eyes, as she tried to pull away. She was not going to hide from this, from him! Not when he had finally realized who she was. “Damn it, woman! You are my soul mate! I let you go before and I can’t- I will not do it again!”

“No.”

“Yes!”

No! How could it be? She knew in her heart, her very soul he spoke the truth. I’ve always known, she confessed to herself. Had recognized it in him that long ago night at the Bronze. But he had not seen her, he saw Buffy. “No, Angel! No. Let me go.” Cordelia trembled in fear at the fury in him, she could feel it surging within him. “I won’t be your soul mate!”

Stubborn, little… “Godamn it, Cordy! It’s not something that we can choose! You and I belong together, just as we belonged together when you were Aidan, but Fate stepped in and reared her ugly head!” She was trying to push herself away again, but to no avail. His grip was unrelenting. “I love you.”

Cordelia froze. She couldn’t breathe. She knew now that they had been meant for each other. He had fathered, married and otherwise loved her through many past lives, but the chain had been severed that long ago time in Ireland. I love you? To her? Now he says it.

“Oh, Angel. How could you leave me? I was alone for so long. You died, you became a vampire and that messed it up, somehow. I kept coming back, but you weren’t there. I-I couldn’t find you!”

Angel felt his dead heart break. She knew. She knew that she had been reincarnated, and he had not been there with her. Forced to carry on her cycle of existence, her soul becoming ever more tortured through out each life he had not been there. For over a hundred years.

“And then,” she sobbed brokenly, “I saw you, and I knew, but you wanted her! I tried to make you see, but I didn’t even know what I was trying to find! Why didn’t you see me then?”

Angel wept with her, for the lost and confused time that they were somehow, destined to mend. There was no other choice but to try and heal. “Cordelia, I am so sorry. Buffy and I were fated in our own way, and I will never wish to turn that back. But now I have rediscovered something even greater and precious, you! I love you so much, and I don’t know any other way to prove then by doing this!” Angel gently brought her trembling lips down to his, this kiss revealing all the love he felt for her. Kissing away the hurt they both felt, replacing it with something all too new and all too old.

Cordelia sighed in delight as she felt his cool hands creep themselves sensuously over her calves. Tracing patterns over her sensitive skin, as he explored her mouth, drinking each other in. Trying to merge into one.

“I need you, Cordy,” his whispered in-between nibbling her lips, shivering as she brought her hips closer to his, wrapping her long legs about his waist. Angel let out a soft growl as he nuzzled her neck, inching her silky dress over her thighs.

He was driving her wild with his tongue, tasting the delicate skin of her throat. Cordelia grinned slightly, as she heard him take an unnecessary breath when her hands began to inch down his chest, to his tapered waistline. She loved how he had begun to tremble, as she traced the outline of his slacks, letting her fingers brush against his skin. With every second she was throbbing more and more.

Cordelia cried out in surprise and pleasure, when suddenly, Angel grasped the sides of her hips, pulling her core to his pulsating cock. The unexpected brush of her thong clad slit, rubbing against his hardness was all she needed to break free. Angel gasped aloud, as she tore off his blue satin shirt, buttons flying aimlessly about, nearly coming apart when she dipped her head down for a long lick of his chest. Grinning, with delicious evilness, Angel shrugged out of the shirt, and proceeded in turn, to knead her breasts. One good turn deserves another!

It was becoming desperation now, as Cordelia arched into his hands, purring each time his fingers touched her swollen nipples. “Angel,” she moaned, gyrating her hips into his, loving the fact she was straddling him.

“What,” Angel growled, his eyes even darker with his passion.

“Take it off, now!”

“As you wish.” Lowering his hands to the hem of her dress, Angel slowly, lifted it over her thighs, caressing each inch of skin as he went. Cordelia thought she was going to scream, by the time he reached over her head. She snarled at his teasing, grabbing the material from him, throwing it across the room.

Angel stared in awe at her beauty. All the right curves in all the right places, and the parts he wanted to play with were clad in a matching sheer bra and thong set. Matches from the inside out, he mused, noting that her lingerie was burgundy too.

“See you’re taking interest in my underwear. I showed you mine, now show me yours,” she hissed, reading his thoughts, as she squirmed off his lap, bringing her self to a kneeling position the floor, her nails raking across is clad thighs. Cordelia took off his boots and socks, grinning as she rose slightly to undo his fly.

His stomach was actually quivering, has her determined fingers came within vicinity of his cock. Angel gave a slow smile, watching through hooded eyes, as Cordelia undid his slacks.

Cordy bit her lower lip in desire, when she saw what was underneath. Angel was not wearing any underwear. She gasped, his throbbing cock springing free from it’s constraint. “My Angel goes commando? How convenient!” Cordelia ripped his pants off, he was as bare as she, and he was perfect.

“Cordy, stop nibbling your lips. That’s my job,” he growled, wrenching her back to her original seat, across his lap, bruising his mouth to hers. Cordelia groaned, clenching onto his shoulders, as he massaged the globes of her ass checks, rubbing his cock against her moist vulva. “I want to be inside you, and neverleave!”

Groaning at his heated words, she pulled his mouth to hers again, massaging his tongue with hers.

“You’re invited. Come inside,” she whispered against his lips, meeting his passion glazed eyes. God, how she needed him, filling her completely.

Easing her gently back onto the bed, his Cordy… her erotically naked and bronzed body, opened to him, like a rose in bloom. Those delicious breasts, large and firm, provocatively arching up against his chest. Her little heart was pounding ferousiously, for him. The heat of her body warming his cold one, and the chill of him causing her to tremble.

“I accept your invitation,” he hissed, bringing her long, supple legs around his waist. Then he moved against her, in her, causing them both to groan. God, he was in her! So warm, and perfect, just for him. Angel didn’t want to lose this feeling, as he stilled within her, just feeling.

Cordelia felt her eyes begin to mist, as she shut them closed, lost in her sensations. They were together, as it was meant to be. She opened her eyes, and began to tremble as she met his gaze. The love in his face was overwhelming.

“Angel?”

“Yeah?”

She cupped the sides of his face, bring him down to her mouth, giving him the hot sensual love of her tongue. “As much as I love to feel you inside me,“ she whispered heatedly against his lips, “I would really like to see what comes next.” She giggled at his expression, and gave him a playful swat on his ass check, urging him on.

“You are in for the ride of your life, milady!” With a groan he buried himself into her flesh, her body encasing him tightly, deeper and deeper until he could go no further. Slowly, he withdrew himself almost to the tip, and pumped back into her, causing her to scream. All of his body began to move and rub against her.

She used her teeth upon his nipples and licked them, as she moved with him, riding that sultry roller coaster of passion. He plunged within her so deep, his pubic bone met hers. Controlling his urges, he rubbed against her with a circular friction that drove her wild. Then withdrew, making her whimper, and came back into her again.

Angel drew his lips in drunken desire over her throat and shoulders, moving down to tease her breasts with his tongue, sucking her nipples hard into his mouth. He worked on her with a fascination, until her head fell back into the pillows, making her cry with need and longing.

Cordelia bit her lip until she could taste blood, her nails racking savagely down his back. Snarling, Angel began to thrust even more vigorously into her, fueled by sudden pain and smell of blood. He ravaged her mouth, sucking on the torn lip and he finally couldn’t control it… he let his demon out, hissing in frustration, tying to still himself.

“No! I want it, I want you! All of you, Angel,” she whispered, sensing his fear. “You won’t hurt me.” Her beautiful face had become an erotic mask of exquisite pleasure. With a gentle push, she rolled him over, till she was now straddling him.

“I love you, Angel.” Lowering her head to gently kiss him reassuringly, her hair teasing him, not caring that her lips touched ridged fangs. He wanted to weep at her total acceptance of him.

Very slowly, she lowered herself onto him. Biting her lip in curious shame, she began a sinuous motion. Bracing her small hot hands over his chest, she began the ride again. God, he filled her as not man had ever filled her! The sensation was so good that it was almost unbearable.

Her breaths came in quick, desperate pants, and she moved against him rhythmically, meeting his every thrust with fervor. They moaned, achingly trying to achieve that cascade of relief.

Cordelia could barely breathe anymore, as Angel bore his demon yellow eyes to hers, and gasped in hinted desperation as the intensity built.

Angel could feel her tensing within, as he lurched up, bringing his hands to her hips, making her match his thrusts more so. He reached between them, massaging her, until she finally gained release.

She trembled and arched to him mindlessly, tossing her head back in abandon, as she cried out earnestly. Cordelia reached out, and brought his head to her throat. A guttural groan escaped him as he gently bit into her neck, finally exploding within her with one last powerful thrust.

Angel held her to him, both of them shaking with the aftermath. Slowly, he eased down, bringing her next to him, gathering her into his arms.

“I love you, Cordelia.”

“I love you, Liam Dubhdara.”

“Don’t you ever say my middle name again,” he playfully hissed, squeezing her.

“Whatever.”

There was nothing left for them to say, as they began to drift away.


…THE END…


 

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