SUMMARY: Angel: The Musical (Inspired by watching way too much Viva Blackpool, but I do love a good musical)
POSTED: 16 Nov 2005
1) Song featured in chapter 1: The Way You Look Tonight by Tony Bennett
2) Songs featured in chapter 2: Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen and Silly Love Songs by Paul Mccartney


What was supposed to be a relaxing night at the ballet had turned into an exhausting battle for their lives. They rode home not talking in the limo Wesley had rented for the evening.

Cordy tried not to notice the way Angel was determined to look at everything except her. It was easy to blame the ghosts of the past that had taken over their bodies for the feelings she couldn’t help. They hot way he looked when in fight mode. The way her heart raced a bit at just the slightest brush of his hand against hers. The way she wanted him even now. But wanting him wasn’t something new. She’d been feeling this for way too long. Cordy didn’t quite know what to do about it. After tonight, she didn’t know if she could pretend to feel nothing beyond friendship anymore. It was easier when it was just a fantasy. Now that she knew the reality, she just wanted his arms around her all over again. That wasn’t going to happen. It didn’t make her feel better that he seemed to think kissing her was terrible. She couldn’t get over the horrified look on his face when she suggested going back to the ballerina’s room. Cordelia Chase might not be the love of his life, but she was a hottie to be reckoned with. She glared at him.

Angel was preoccupied sitting next to Gunn and Fred. He knew what Cordelia tasted like now and how her skin felt like against his. If he wanted to forget, he couldn’t. And if Angel were completely honest, he’d admit that forgetting was the last thing he wanted. He wanted it to happen all over again minus the possession. He wanted to touch her and know her response was the result of her wanting him as desperately as he wanted her. Thinking of it made him want to just grab her right there in the car regardless of the people with them. He just wanted to kiss her until she understood she was his and he was hers. But he couldn’t do that. He wondered if she was feeling anything like he was. Would she be uncomfortable around him now? Could their friendship be at risk? Angel couldn’t lose her. He had to do something about it. But what?

Gunn and Fred sat side by side oblivious to everyone else. They just held hands and smiled at each other. Fred felt carried away by the romance of it all. He wanted her as much as she wanted him. For the past weeks, she’d been dying to tell him how she felt but could never find the words. And now he looked at her with the same passion she felt. Gunn gave her hand a kiss and just let the joy wash over him. He wasn’t unguarded often, but Fred got past his barriers. For the first time in a long while, it was okay to just be happy and enjoy the moment. The horrors of the outside world were not going to intrude.

Watching Fred and Gunn made Cordy smile a bit but then she looked at Wesley who sat beside her. He was staring at Fred with a longing that was heartbreaking. He wondered how he could have missed it. Wesley kept thinking over moments he’d witnessed between Fred and Gun, and it was so clear to him now. While he thought they were developing a nice brother/sister type friendship, they’d actually been falling in love. He’d just been too focused on Fred to see it. Wesley had to busy thinking about his own feelings for Fred to even act on them. Maybe if he’d been taking her out on breakfast runs or just spending more time with her, he be with Fred now. He was trying so hard to be careful with Fred and had lost her. Cordy patted his knee as a show of comfort. Wesley looked at Cordy and smiled weakly.

“We’re home,” Fred said excited. She practically bounced out of the car after it pulled up in front of the Hyperion.

Fred helped an injured Gun out of the car and escorted him inside. Angel entered behind them with Wesley who was arm and arm with Cordelia.

Wesley went into the office to get the first aid kit for Gunn. Fred helps Gun sit on the desk and then sat across from him.

“We’ll have to clean the wound,” Wesley said opening the first aid kit. “Do you want something for the pain?”

“What pain?” Gunn said smiling at Fred.

Wesley choose to focus on Gunn’s wound so he wouldn’t have to notice the way Gun and Fred couldn’t take their eyes off each other. Angel watched this scene without really seeing it. He kept thinking about the ballerina. She hesitated going after the man she loved and lost everything. Angel turned and watched Cordelia brush the dust off her dress. Could his hesitation make him loose Cordelia? Angel smiled to himself deciding to just talk to her.

As he walked toward her, Cordelia said with a little smile, “Do you think I can still return it? Because otherwise we’re gonna have to take on a lot more cases.”

Cordelia wanted to keep things light between them. She wanted to pretend that she hadn’t spent most of the evening loving being in his arms.

“Cordy…” Angel began.

Cordy couldn’t resist interrupting, “You know, we should probably just not talk about our little adventure. Anything that might have been seen, anything that might have been, oh perky.”
She laughed slightly trying not to feel tense because he just kept staring at her so intently.

“I just want to pretend it never happened,” Angel said agreeing with Cordy.

Cordy let out a sigh of relief and said, “Exactly.”

Her sigh of relief unnerved him a bit, but he decided they had to start over to stop the awkwardness.

“I’ll just wipe it from my memory,” Angel said attempting to return Cordy’s little smile.

The smile faded as Cordy replied, “What? Was it like disgusting.”

He hated the vulnerable look on her face and quickly replied, “No! I, ah… I would, I would just want… If we were to…I would just want it to be… new. Start at the beginning.”

Cordy watched him struggle with his words and tried to figure out what he was trying to tell her.

“Lost me in the middle,” she said.

Angel paused a moment and then said, “ Cordy, You and I, we’ve been working together for a long time.”

“It’s been a while,” Cordy said with a light laugh hoping this wasn’t the beginning of the ‘I really like you but only as a friend speech.’

“What I mean is that you’ve become an extraordinary woman,” Angel said smiling at Cordelia who rewarded him with a megawatt smile of her own.

“I know we haven’t always gotten along, but I think we, you know, we…”

“Oh my God!” Cordelia said walking away from Angel and into Xander’s arms.

“Hey,” Xander said happily hugging Cordelia right back.

Mostly she was just happy to see her friend again, but she was also relieved to have an excuse to get out of her conversation with Angel. She really couldn’t handle Angel rejecting her no matter how nice he was trying to put it.

At the noise, Wesley and Fred came out of the office to view the scene. Lorne came down the stairs to stand by Angel.

“He just showed up,” Lorne said. “Apparently things didn’t go smoothly at his wedding. He came here looking for Cordy.”

Angel watched Cordy smile and hug Xander and replied, “That’ll be good for her.”

“Yeah,” Lorne said for once at a loss for words. Suddenly, he sneezed and muttered to himself, “This won’t be good.”

The sneeze brought Angel out of his reverie. He turned to Lorne and said, “I’ll check on Connor.”

“He’s sleeping,” Lorne said.

Without replying Angel just heads upstairs to his room.

“Who’s that?” Fred asked Wesley.

“Cordelia’s ex boyfriend Xander,” Wesley replied.

Fred watched Cordy laughing with Xander and said, “Well, that’s a surprise. I thought for sure she was meant to be with Angel. I guess you never can predict those things.”

She turned to look at Wesley who replied sadly, “No, I guess you never can.”

Fred gave him a smile before going back in the office to tend to Gunn. She sat beside him on the desk.

“You okay?” She asked brushing her hand against the bandage Wesley just finished putting on Gunn’s wound.

“Yeah,” Gunn said, giving her a quick peck on the lips.

Suddenly Fred and Gunn heard music playing in the background. To both their surprise, Gunn began to sing.

Gunn: Someday when I’m awfully low

When the world is cold

(Gun stands up and takes Freds hand)

I feel a glow just thinking of you

And the way you look tonight.

(He spins her around playfully, and she laughs)

Oh, but you’re lovely with your smile so warm

(He brushes his hand against her cheek)

And your cheek so soft

There is nothing for me to love you

And the way you look tonight

(They begin to slow dance in the office and Fred begins to sing)

Fred: With each word your tenderness grows

Tearing my fear apart

(Fred gives him a quick kiss on the nose making him laugh)

And that laugh that wrinkles your nose

touches my foolish heart

(Fred takes his hand and places it over her heart and then puts her hand over his heart. Together they sing)

Gunn and Fred: Lovely, never ever change

Keep that breathless charm

Won’t you please arrange it?

(Gun sits in the office chair, and Fred sits in his lap)

‘Cause I love you

Just the way you look tonight…

(They kiss as the background music fades away)

For a moment, they just stare at each other bewildered.

“Okay, what was that?” Gunn asked her.

“I have no idea, but it was fun,” she replied leaning in to kiss him again.
Part 2

Wes stood in the lobby feeling like a fifth wheel. Gunn and Fred were probably all over each other in his office, and Xander and Cordelia were caught up in their conversation sitting on the lobby couch.

“I think I’ll just head home,” Wesley said walking over to Cordelia and Xander

Looking at him with concern, Cordelia replied, “But you’re my ride.”

Cordelia was hoping to get a moment alone with him so they could talk. She figured Wesley needed a good vent. This evening had been a disaster for him. Cordy hated seeing him look so wounded. Plus, she’d gotten his hopes up. Her dynamite radar for her friends had been way off. She wanted to do something for Wes.

“I can give you a ride home,” Xander said unaware of what was going on.

“That’s a marvelous idea,” Wesley said pretending to perk up. He knew Cordy was dying to talk to him about Fred, and he just didn’t have it in him to discuss the situation.

“Wes…” Cordy began.

But he wouldn’t let her continue, “Cordy, this will give you and Xander some time to do some catching up, and I can just get home to bed. It’s been a long night, and I’ve got to wake up early tomorrow.”

Cordy and Wesley exchanged a look, and Cordy decided to let him have his way.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight,” Wesley said nodding to Cordy and Xander before leaving the hotel.

As Cordy watched Wesley leave, Xander said, “So now Wesley’s the boss. It’s hard to imagine.”

“Many things have changed since last we met,” Cordelia said smiling at him.

Xander was happy to return the smile. When he’d left Sunnydale, he’d had no idea where he was going but somehow ended up here looking for Cordelia. He couldn’t really say why he’d suddenly felt the need to see her, but it was great being around her again. It was nice to see that she was happy to see him. When he’d first arrived at the hotel, he’d been worried that Cordy would be annoyed or indifferent to his arrival.

“So I’m guessing you aren’t married,” Cordy said looking at his ringless left hand.

“Things got a little insane,” Xander said and noticed Cordy’s dress. “You look amazing.”

“That was the perfect way to change the subject because I do look amazing,” Cordy said.

“I’m glad to see you’re still modest,” Xander replied.

“At some point, I’m going to want the almost wedding details,” Cordy said.

“Okay,” Xander agreed. “But not tonight. I’m kinda exhausted.”

“Well, I’d invite you to stay at the hotel but if I did that I’d just have to start the Xander/Angel battle countdown,” Cordelia said.

“I can find a motel or something,” Xander said.

“Or something,” Cordelia said. “You can crash on my couch.”

“But wouldn’t that just lead to the Cordy/Xander battle countdown. I mean how long will it take before we kill each other,” Xander said.

“Hey, I’ve matured,” Cordy said. “And I would totally kick your ass if it came to that.”

“That’ll never happen. You might actually break a nail,” Xander said.

“Pfft, if we really got into it you’d turn and run away before I could break a nail,” Cordy said.

“I really think we’ve matured,” Xander said smiling at her.

“Definitely,” Cordy said. “And …”

Cordy and Xander were interrupted when Fred and Gunn rushed out of the office.

“Something strange is going down,” Gunn said.

“What’s wrong?” Cordy asked concerned.

“Well, it’s not really wrong. It’s just kinda weird but fun too. You should try it. It’s really….”

“Okay Fred, take a breath,” Cordy said interrupting. “Gunn?”

“Music just started playing, and we were signing and dancing in the office,” Gunn said.

“Oh God, not again,” Xander said getting worried.


Upstairs Angel looked down at his son asleep in his crib. Lorne entered the room and went to stand beside Angel.

“It’s strange,” Angel said.

“Hmmm,” Lorne who was distracted replied.

“I remember him being shorter,” Angel said.

“It’s a trick of the light,” Lorne said. “You haven’t been gone long enough for Connor to have a growth spurt.”

Angel looked at Lorne and replied, “I wasn’t talking about the baby.

“I know,” Lorne said.

“I meant Xander,” Angel said.

“I know you did,” Lorne said, sympathetically. Then he sneezed again.

“Bless you,” Angel said absent minded.

“Thanks,” Lorne replied. “There’s something I have to warn you about.”

“I mean he’s short,” Angel said not really paying attention to Lorne.

“Oh absolutely,” Lorne said cheerfully. “Why, he’s practically a midget. I’m sure once Cordelia gets him home, she’ll just pop him into a smallish drawer and that will be that.”

A rush of jealousy came over Angel as removed his tuxedo jacket, he said, “She’s not taking him home. I mean she isn’t, is she?”

“So you’d have a problem with that?” Lorne asked.

“No, of course not,” Angel snapped. “Why would I care?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Lorne said noticing the scent on Angel’s jacket. “Maybe because I don’t remember you wearing this perfume when you left this evening.”

Annoyed Angel grabs the jacket from Lorne and hangs it in his closet.

“There may have been some magic,” Angel admitted.

Happy to be right, Lorne replied, “There, see I told you that…”

“No, actual magic,” Angel interrupted frustrated. “Whatever happened was because of some spell. It’s worn off by now. There’s nothing between Cordy and me.”

Lorne shook his head and said, “Sure there is, and its got arms like steel cables and an ironic sense of timing.”

Going to sit on his bed Angel said, “I’m glad Xander showed up when he did. It stopped me from making this situation complicated.”

“Yeah, it’s real simple now,” Lorne replied rolling his eyes.

“I’m glad for Cordy,” Angel said. “He doesn’t deserve her but as long as she’s happy…”

“And what about you? Are you happy?” Lorne asked.

Angel hesitated a moment before answering, “I’m fine. I’ve been a solo act most of my 200 plus years. And when I wasn’t, it didn’t turn out well.”

Annoyed with Angel’s denial Lorne scoffs, “Fine, Mr. Garbo. Have your way. Be alone.”

Lorne walked out of the room leaving Angel alone in his room. He sat there for a while reassuring himself that he meant what he’d said to Lorne. There was nothing between him and Cordy. He had to keep telling himself that if he was going to get through this.

Angel couldn’t resist going to his closet and smelling his tux jacket. The scent of her enthralled him.

Angel was startled when suddenly Lorne was back and standing in his doorway.

Lorne looked at him kindly and said, “She’s something isn’t she?”

“When I’m around her, I never know if I’m coming or going,” Angel said sadly.

Suddenly music was playing and Angel began to sing.

Angel: She’ll let you in her house

If you come knockin’ late at night

(Angel takes another sniff of his jacket and thinks of kissing Cordy.)

She’ll let you in her mouth

If the words you say are right

Lorne: If you pay the price

She’ll let you deep inside

Loren and Angel: But there’s a secret garden she hides

(Angel puts his jacket back in the closet and closes the door)

Angel: She’ll let you in her car

To go drivin’ round

She’ll let you into the parts of herself

That’ll bring you down

She’ll let you in her heart

If you’ve got a hammer and a vise

But into her secret garden, don’t think twice

(Lorne walks up to Angel and places a hand on his shoulder)

Lorne: You’ve gone a million miles

How far’d you get?

To that place where you can’t remember

And you can’t forget

(Angel walks away from Lorne and goes to stare out his window)

Angel: She’ll lead you down a path
There’ll be tenderness in the air

She’ll let you come just far enough

So you know she’s really there

She’ll look at you and smile

And her eyes will say

(Lorne comes to stand beside Angel at the window)

Angel and Lorne: She’s got a secret garden

Where everything you want

Where everything you need

Will always stay

Angel: A million miles away

(The background fades away as Angel looks lost standing at the window)

With the song ended, Angel turned to Lorne and asked, “What the hell was that?”

Sheepishly Lorne replies, “I kinda wanted to warn you about that.”

“What’s going on?” Angel asked.

“I’ve got this little cold,” Lorne began.

“A cold?” Angel replied raising an eyebrow.

“And there are some side effects,” Lorne explained. “Some singing. Possibly some dancing.”

Shaking his head Angel replied, “Well, this can’t be good.”

Suddenly, Cordy rushes into Angel’s bedroom.

At the same time, Angel and Cordy say, “We’ve got a problem.”


Everyone gathered in the lobby as Lorne attempted to explain, “It’s just a little cold.”

He sneezed again and Fred felt his forehead with the back of her hand.

Fred said, “You’re so warm.”

“A bit of a fever,” Lorne said.

“So what does you being sick have to do with the rest of us breaking into song?” Xander asked. He was relieved that the demon that had made the residents of Sunnydale sing and dance until they combusted apparently wasn’t involved, but he was still nervous.

Xander sat on the couch next to Cordy. Angel stood beside them trying not to react to the fact that Xander causally had his arm around Cordy. Fred stood by Gunn next to the couch.

“It’s harmless,” Lorne said. “You know last time I got sick people from out of town came down to Caritas just so they could have their own little musical. I made a lot a moola.”

“How much?” Cordy asked curious.

“Cordy, there’s more important things to discuss right now,” Angel chastised.

“I’ll tell you later,” Lorne promised Cordelia who smiled at him and asked, “So how long does this song and dance show last?”

“It can last from 24 hours up to two weeks,” Lorne said. “I would’ve warned you to stay clear of me, but it came on so suddenly.”

“So how contagious are you?” Angel asked.

“Pretty damn contagious,” Gunn said still reeling from the fact that he’d and Fred had serenaded each other in Wesley’s office. It was very wrong even if he did love seeing the way Fred seemed to enjoy it all.

“Well, you won’t catch the cold,” Lorne said. “But the singing is catching. You should call Wesley and have him come back. Wouldn’t want him breaking into song in the middle of the street.”

“That might be fun,” Fred said enthusiastically.

“Trust me it’s not as much fun as it looks,” Xander said.

“Are you saying we need a quarantine?” Cordy asked.

Lornes shrugged, “Well, I definitely can’t leave the hotel. The rest of you can come and go but remember that the songs can come on at any time.”

Everyone was looking concerned except for Lorne and Fred who were enjoying the possibilities.

“This is just ridiculous,” Cordy said looking irritated at Lorne and Fred.

“There has to be a way around this,” Angel agreed.

(Music starts playing in the background)

“It really is just a few harmless songs,” Lorne said. “Just loosen up and enjoy.”

Cordy: (rolling her eyes) You’d think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.

(Lorne kneels in front of Cordy)

Lorne: But I look around me and I see it isn’t so.

(Fred goes to stand beside Lorne)

Fred: Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.

And what’s wrong with that?

I’d like to know,

(Lorne stands up)

Lorne: ’cause here I go again

(Lorne gives Fred a quick hug)

I love you,

(Lorne points at Angel who raises his eyebrow)

I love you,

(Lorne gives Gunn an affectionate pat on the back)

I love you,

(Lorne goes to kiss Cordy’s hand)

I love you,

(Cordy smiles at Lorne, and Fred goes to take Gunn’s hand)

Fred: I can’t explain the feeling’s plain to me,

Lorne: I love you

Fred: say can’t you see?

Lorne: I love you

Gunn; Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me

Now can’t you see,

(Gunn wraps his arms around Fred as they stare into each others eyes)

Fred and Gunn: What’s wrong with that

I need to know,

’cause here I go again

Gunn: I love you,

Fred: I love you

(Fred and Gunn kiss)

(Cordy stands up next to Angel. They both have there arms crossed and look annoyed)

Cordy: Love doesn’t come in a minute,

Angel: sometimes it doesn’t come at all

(Lorne goes to stand between Cordelia and Angel placing an arm around each of them)

Lorne: I only know that when I’m in it

It isn’t silly,

Fred and Gunn: no, it isn’t silly,

Lorne, Fred, and Gunn: love isn’t silly at all.

(Lorne, Fred, and Gunn dance in a circle surrounding Angel and Cordy who look embarrassed)

(Lorne steps away from Cordy and Angel. He looks sad for a moment and distracted)

Lorne: How can I tell you about my loved one?

(Cordy and Angel stand side by side but refuse to look at each other)

Cordy and Angel: How can I tell you about my loved one?

(Fred and Gunn break off from the group to dance with each other)

Fred and Gunn: I love you

Lorne, Cordy and Angel: How can I tell you about my loved one?

Fred and Gunn: I love you

Lorne, Cordy and Angel: How can I tell you about my loved one?

(Cordy joins in to dance with Lorne. Angel resists enjoying the song with the others. Fred and Gunn with Lorne and Cordy dance around a stubborn Angel)

Lorne, Cordy, Fred, and Gunn: I love you

I love you

(Fred and Gunn stop dancing and just hold each other)

Gunn: I can’t explain the feeling’s plain to me,

(Lorne goes to stand on the couch to watch over all of them, and Cordy goes to stand beside Angel)

Lorne: I love you

Fred: say can’t you see?

Lorne: I love you

Fred; Ah, he gave me more, he gave it all to me

Say can’t you see,

Lorne: I love you
(Angel and Cordy stand so close that they are pressed into each other but still not making eye contact. Both of them look up to Lorne.)

Angel and Cordy: How can I tell you about my loved one?

Gunn: I can’t explain the feeling’s plain to me,

say can’t you see?

Lorne: I love you

Angel and Cordy: How can I tell you about my loved one?

Fred; Ah, he gave me more, he gave it all to me

Say can’t you see,

Lorne: I love you

Angel and Cordy: How can I tell you about my loved one?

Gunn: I can’t explain the feeling’s plain to me,

say can’t you see?

Lorne: I love you

Angel and Cordy: How can I tell you about my loved one?

Fred; Ah, he gave me more, he gave it all to me

Say can’t you see,

Lorne: I love you

Angel and Cordy: How can I tell you about my loved one?

Angel steps away from Cordy and crosses his arms again)

Angel: You’d think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.

(Cordy and Angel finally make eye contact. Cordy gestures to everyone in the room with her hand.)

Cordy: But I look around me and I see it isn’t so.

(Lorne gets off the couch to stand with Cordy, Fred, and Gunn in front of Angel)

Lorne: Oh no

Lorne: Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.

Lorne, Fred, Gunn and Cordy: And what’s wrong with that?

(The music fades away)

Xander starts clapping and said, “I’m so happy I was left out of that. I wouldn’t quit my day jobs if I were you guys.”

Then Xander turned to Lorne and said, “Except for you.”

“Of course,” Lorne replied.

“Fred was right this is kinda fun,” Cordy said exchanging a smile with Fred and Gunn.

“We have to stop this,” Angel said frowning at all of them.

“It’s just some music, Angel,” Cordy said. “Just enjoy it.”

Angel looked at her as if she betrayed him and said, “I’m not going to enjoy singing about private things in front of everyone.”

“And we’re not going to enjoy hearing you sing,” Xander replied.

“Yeah, that’s not pleasant at all,” Cordy said laughing with Xander.

Angel glared at them both.

“Well, I love you, Cordy, but you’re hardly Ella Fitzgerald,” Lorne said.

“But I’ve got style,” Cordy replied.

“In spades,” Lorne replied with a wink.

“I wonder what we’ll sing next,” Fred said.

“Maybe some Ottis Redding,” Gunn suggested thinking of his favorite singer. He was actually beginning to enjoy this.

“Or some Springteen,” Xander said.

“Angel already covered that,” Lorne replied.

Suddenly, everyone was looking at Angel.

“So what song did you sing Angel?” Fred asked curious.

“Yeah, what song?” Cordy prompted when Angel hesitated to answer.

“It doesn’t matter,” Angel said. “I’m going to call, Wes.”

Angel went into the office to escape the questions. Angel suspected the songs would reveal too much. Cordy couldn’t find out he’d sung about wanting her. What if he stared singing in front of her again?

As he picked up the phone and spoke with Wesley, Angel realized there could be a benefit to this situation. Maybe Cordy might sing something to give him a clue about what she wanted, about who she wanted. He wasn’t sure if he ready to find out how Cordy felt.
Part 3

After he finished his shower, Angel was relieved to find Cordy sitting on his bed holding Connor. She’d told him he could take his shower first because she was showing Xander to one of the other rooms in the hotel. Angel had worried that’d she’d get too caught up with Xander to return to their room. One benefit of this silly singing situation was that Cordy and Xander would be staying at the hotel instead of going back to her apartment. That brought Angel a great deal of relief. Xander and Cordy alone together was the last thing he wanted.

Whenever Cordy had to stay over it was always in his room. Angel loved that she had her clothes in his drawers and closet and that one of her favorite quilts was on his bed. On the nights she stayed over, his room became their room. Angel would usually sleep on the couch and let Cordy have the bed, but sometimes they’d just fall asleep on his bed together with Connor between them. He looked over and saw that Cordy had already made up the couch for him. Angel covered his disappoint at the realization that this is one of the nights they would spend sleeping separately. He sighed realizing that it was the wise thing to do. After what had happened between them tonight at the ballet, sleeping apart would be wise. He wasn’t even sure if sleeping in the same room was right, but it was a routine he didn’t have it in him to break.

“So how’s our guest settling in?” Angel asked.

Cordy watched Angel walk towards his drawers to grab something to sleep in. Seeing him come out of the bathroom looking so good she wanted to taste him made her feel nice and warm. She was grateful to have Connor in her arms as a distraction.

“Xander’s fine,” Cordy said forcing herself to stop staring at him and pay attention to the baby. “I was actually happy to see him. Who knew that would happen?”

Angel frowned at her instead of answering.

Noting Angel’s irritation, Cordy replied, “I need to ask you not to strangle Xander while he’s here.”

“I don’t want to make a promise I won’t be able to keep,” Angel said smiling slightly.

Cordy returned the smile and said, “I know it’ll take a great deal of will power. You’re probably going to have to stop me from strangling him at some point. Fighting is what Xander and I excel at.”

“Do I really have to stop you from strangling him?” Angel asked placing his clothes on the bed.

“I’m afraid so,” Cordy said laughing with him. “I got him to promise not to stake you.”

She couldn’t help looking at his hard chest and swallowed hard.

“That nice,” Angel replied not really paying attention. He could smell Cordy’s arousal, and it made coherent thought difficult.

Angel couldn’t help testing her by sitting on the bed beside her. He liked the way she tensed up a bit and was so determined not to look at him. Whether she wanted to admit or not, he could affect her like she affected him. She suddenly handed him the baby.

“It’s my turn,” Cordy said.

Cordy quickly grabbed some clothes and walked into the bathroom.

Angel smiled at her escape and said to his son, “It seems she’s not immune.”

But Connor had fallen asleep. So Angel got up and placed him in his crib. Angel put on his sweat pants and a white beater. Thinking of Cordy in the shower was driving him a little crazy so he started to pace a bit. What would she do if he just stormed in there? She’d either stake him or fuck him. Angel figured either scenario wouldn’t be good. The curse was very much on his mind. He wouldn’t hurt her for anything. He went to lie on the couch determined to stay there the rest of the night and trying hard not to think about Cordy sleeping just a few feet away.

Cordy walked out of the shower wearing the cow jumping over the moon pajamas Fred had given her. Angel was a bit disappointed that she’d chosen not the wear the usual boxer shorts and t-shirt. He took a great deal of pleasure looking at her legs when she wasn’t paying attention. But the pjs had their benefits. It gave him the fun and torture of wondering what she had underneath her clothes. He had to stop this insane train of thought.

Cordy noticed Angel on the couch and was a little surprised to find him still awake. She been hoping to find Angel asleep so she could just slip into bed and not think about him being just a few feet away. The way he was looking at her wasn’t helping her calm. She had to shift the mood in the room.

“I didn’t mention Connor to Xander, but he’s bound to find out about him soon,” Cordy began going to sit on the arm of the couch. “I know you didn’t want to tell Buffy about him over the phone.”

“I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to go to Sunnydale and see her,” Angel said. “I think she should find out from me in person.”

Angel didn’t know how Buffy would react. Would she be happy for him? Would she be hurt? He didn’t want to hurt her. Blind siding her with a son might be too much of a shock. At first, he couldn’t go see Buffy because they were too busy but even when things calmed down he still hadn’t gone to Sunnydale. Angel didn’t know how to tell Buffy he had become so happy while she seemed so lost and vulnerable.

“I really don’t think Xander’s going to keep Connor a secret from Buffy,” Cordy said.

“With this quarantine, I definitely can’t see Buffy this week,” Angel said frowning.

“It’ll have to be a phone call,” Cordy said sounding apologetic.

“I’ll call her in the morning,” Angel said.

“At least, she’ll be hearing from you and not getting the info secondhand from Xander,” Cordy said.

Bringing up Buffy was good. Cordy needed the reminder that she would always be between them.

“When you found out about Darla, you were so angry and hurt,” Angel said.

They’d never really talked about it, but Angel needed to bring it up. He needed to make up for that hurt.

“You lied to me,” Cordy said looking hin straight in the eye.

He could see there was still some hurt there.

“I was afraid to tell you,” Angel said. “I lost you once when I fired you, and I couldn’t loose you again. You were so angry at me when I came to you guys and offered to work for Wes. All I could think about was getting you back.”

The intensity in Angel’s gaze warmed Cordy, and she replied, “You know what I really hate about you? You can do something that makes me hard and angry. Then you say something like that, and I go soft.”

“I won’t loose you again,” Angel said stubbornly.

“You won’t,” Cordy said softly. “You’re stuck with me.”

“I don’t feel stuck,” Angel replied smiling at her in that way that could make her promise him almost anything.

Suddenly, they realized they weren’t talking about Connor and Darla anymore. Angel sat up and placed his hand on Cordy’s knee.

“Cordy, I…” Angel began.

Cordy needed some space from Angel and quickly. Things were getting too intense.

“I think I’m going to go say goodnight to Xander,” Cordy said rising from Angel’s couch and walking towards his door.

Angel stood up and said, “You were just with him.”

“But we really haven’t talked,” Cordy said. “I’m mean he didn’t get married. This is huge.”

“Cordy…” Angel began.

“I’ll be right back,” Cordy interrupted. “Night Angel.”

She was out of the room before Angel could reply, “Night Cordy.”

Cordy walked up the stairs and knocked on Xander’s door.

“You decent?” she asked.

“No,” Xander replied. “But I’ve got my clothes on.”

Cordy smiled and entered his room. He sat in the middle of his bed drinking from a can of beer. She noticed he had a six pack on the desk near the door.

“I see you’ve raided our kitchen,” Cordy said sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Yeah, well I couldn’t manage sleeping so I thought I’d try getting drunk,” Xander said.

“So it’s that bad?” Cordy wondered.

“It’s worse,” Xander said.

“So what hap…” Cordy started.

Xander interrupted, “Cordy, I haven’t even settled in yet.”

Xander realized he should have known he couldn’t just show up here and expect Cordy not to want the details. She could be impossible when determined. He’d forgotten that.

“You had to know when you showed up I’d ask questions,” Cordy said. “It’s actually pretty rude of you to be all secretive.”

“So showing up in the middle of the night to pump me for info is polite,” Xander said sarcastically.

“Look Xander I’m in the mood for gossip, and it’s your job to supply it,” Cordy said knowing she was picking a fight just so she wouldn’t have to deal with her feelings for Angel.

“You know I never figured you were the cow pajamas type of woman,” Xander said noticing her outfit.

“Well, I’m full of surprises,” Cordy replied.

“I’ve always liked that about you,” Xander said. “You really do look amazing.”

“We’ve established that,” Cordy said. “Stop trying to distract me.”

“I didn’t get married,” Xander said.

“Wow,” Cordy said. “I didn’t know that.”

“You know sarcasm isn’t going to help here,” Xander said.

“Cut the BS, and I’ll cut the sarcasm,” Cordy said.

“I don’t even know why I came here,” Xander said frustrated.

“Okay,” Cordy said relenting. “Let’s just talk. We don’t have to mention you’re deep dark reason for not getting married.”

“So you guys were all dressed up tonight?” Xander said ending the argument.

Xander wanted a break from obsessing about Anya and wondering if he’d made a horrible mistake.

“We took the night off and went to the ballet,” Cordy said.

“That sounds snore worthy,” Xander said.

“Normally, I’d agree with you on that,” Cordy said thinking off how she’d fallen asleep in the middle of the ballet. “But there was some demon involved insanity that made the night a lot more interesting.”

“Demons huh,” Xander said. “Now I feel like I’m back at home.”

“Good old, Sunnyhell,” Cordy said pretending to be nostalgic.

“It’s good to see you,” Xander said sounding surprised.

“Hey,” Cordy said slapping his arm playfully. “Don’t be so shocked.”

“I didn’t know what to expect when I came here,” Xander said.

“So why did you come here?” Cordy said.

“I wanted to get away,” Xander replied shrugging. “I guess I wanted to see you.”

Cordy gave him a stern look and said, “You’re doing it again.”

“What?” Xander asked.

“When you and I were getting more serious, you decided that would be a great time to make out with your best friend. And now that you and Anya are serious, you decide it’s a great time to cozy up to your ex-girlfriend,” Cordy said shaking her head. “You could try just breaking up with a girl rather than doing crazy things to make her dump you.”

“I wasn’t trying to make you dump me,” Xander said getting defensive. In the back of his mind, he wondered if she was right.

“What did you think would happen?” Cordy asked getting angry. “I’d love it if you could explain it to me cause it never made sense.”

“Willow and me just sorta happened,” Xander said. “We didn’t even know why.”

“I think I would’ve understood if you’d actually end up with her. I still would have hated you, but I would have understood,” Cordy said. “But you didn’t even really want her. So why?”

Xander remembered the way Cordy just completely cut him out of her life. He’d hurt her, and he didn’t even know why.

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Xander said softly.

“Yeah, well you did,” Cordy said not giving in.

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” Xander said. “Maybe I’m just crazy.”

“There are no maybes about it,” Cordy said.

“I’m sorry,” Xander said grabbing her hand.

“I’m thinking that this time around I’m not the one you should be apologizing to,” Cordy said softening towards him.

“Can we just change the subject?” Xander said sounding desperate. He had to get Anya out of his head.

“So. Willow’s a lesbian now?” Cordy said letting have his change of subject.

Downstairs in his room, Angel tossed and turned. He couldn’t believe it was four am, and Cordy still hadn’t returned to the room to go to sleep. It took all his will power not to go up to Xander’s room and grab Cordy.

Downstairs Xander and Cordy continued to talk and actually laugh a bit.

“So Spike and Buffy were actually engaged,” Cordy said laughing at the absurdity of it.

“Yeah, so the lesson here is don’t neglect Willow. She’s dangerous when pissed,” Xander said standing up. “Want another beer?”

“Sure,” Cordy said.

(music starts playing in the background)

Xander: I met my old lover

On the street last night

She seemed so glad to see me

I just smiled

(Exchanges a smile with Cordy while handing her another beer)

Xander: And we talked about some old times

And we drank ourselves some beers

(Xander sits on the bed next to Cordy)

Xander: Still crazy after all these years

I’m still crazy after all these years

I’m not the kind of man

Who tends to socialize

(Cordy smirks at this and then yawns.)

Xander: I seem to lean on

Old familiar ways

And I ain’t no fool for love songs

That whisper in my ears

(A sleepy Cordy smiles at Xander who seems lost in a daydream and then adjusts herself so she’s lying down on her side)

Xander: Still crazy after all these years

Said I know I am

I’m just crazy after all these years

Yeah I am baby

(Xander returns his attention to Cordy who has fallen asleep on his bed)

Xander: Yes I am

Four in the morning

(Xander gets up from the bed and covers Cordy with a blanket)

Xander: And I’m tapped out


(Xander yawns)

Xander: Longing my life away

I’ll never worry

(Xander grabs a pillow from the bed and a spare blanket)

Xander: Why should l?

Well its all gonna fade

Oh its all gonna fade

Oh baby

(Xander makes up a little bed for himself on the window seat and sits down)

Xander: Now I sit by my window

And I watch the cars

(Gets up and grabs his wallet. Pulls out a picture of Anya and sighs.)

Xander: I fear I’ll do some damage

One fine day

(Xander goes to lie down on the window seat)

Xander: But I would not be convicted

By a jury of my peers

Still crazy after all these years

(Xander holds up the picture of Anya)

Xander: Say don’t you know that I am

I want you to know I’m crazy

yeah I am

Yeah I’m crazy

Oh, I’m still crazy after all these years

Said I’m crazy baby

I’m a fool for you

Yes I am

I can’t help myself

I’m crazy baby

Lord help me

Oh I’m crazy after these years

Come here

I want to tell you something

(Hugs the picture to his chest)

Xander: I want to hold on to you

You know it

That’s why I’m still crazy after all these years

(Looks over at a sleeping Cordy)

Somebody help me

I’ve done lost my mind

(Xander looks at Anya’s picture again and then places it underneath his pillow)

Yeah baby you’ve got me by your little finger

(The music begins to fade away as Xander falls asleep.)






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