SUMMARY: Cordy and Angel take a Cosmo sex quiz.
POSTED: 27 Jun 2004
CATEGORY: Humor / Fluff
CONTENT/PAIRING: C/A in AtS Season 1
WARNINGS: Sexual Topic
FICPIC CREDIT: N/A
AUTHOR NOTES: None
The elevator rose slowly from the basement into the main office area. Cordy had gotten use to the noisy clanky sound and didn’t look up from computer screen. She was reading a great story on Cosmo on-line. She really should be memorizing her lines for the commercial she was going to try out for, but she just couldn’t get into reading it, boring laundry detergent. Plus the on-line quiz was much more fun.
Angel pulled open the elevator door, and grumbled a hello to Cordy as she sat at the computer. He carefully stepped around the ray of afternoon sunshine flowing into the office and headed toward the coffee pot. He pulled it out and it was empty, then turned and glared at Cordy. “Coffee?”
“No thanks, I am good.” Cordy said, hearing the aggravated sound of the vampire’s voice and deciding instantly that she was not going to be taking on coffee making duties as part of her job description.
“No, I meant…Could you make some coffee?” Angel sighed, why was he paying her again, oh yes, Doyle had said it, she was his link to humanity.
“You’re right there, you make it if you want some. But I don’t think that is such a good idea, at this hour of the afternoon you shouldn’t be drinking coffee, you know it gives you the jitters.” Cordy looked up from the computer and took in Angel.
“Angel, have you thought about moving into a new part of the color spectrum?” Black shirt, black pants, obvious brood mode motif.
“What? Black looks good on me.” Angel said looking down to make sure his shirt wasn’t wrinkled. He patted down one wrinkle that had started to form.
“But Angel don’t you get tired of it?” Cordy stood up and noticed that Angel had a trapped look on his face, and then realized that the shade was open letting in afternoon sun. She turned around and turned the blind to close out the rays of sun that would kill her boss. Yes he does look good in the black on black motif. Salty Goodness
“Well I am always assured of matching.” Angel said, moving over to look at Cordy’s computer screen now that she had closed the window blinds. “Whatcha doing?” Angel asked curiously.
“Nothing important, just taking an on-line quiz on the Cosmo website.” Cordy said, sitting back down at the computer, ready to close down the website.
“Really, what’s the topic?” Angel asked, not really interested in the quiz, but more having conversation with Cordy. “Is it on fashion?”
“Well not exactly Angel.” Cordy responded. How was she going to tell him she was taking one of Cosmo’s more racy quizzes – “What is your Risqué Factor?”
Angel leaned over her shoulder and looked at the screen and cleared his throat, “A measure of your wild side.” Angel said reading the screen and chuckled, “So what is your rating?” Angel asked, curious about how wild Cordy was ranked by the magazine.
“Don’t know, haven’t started it. I am positive that I am very wild. My guess is that you however are not so wild, being as old as you are.” Cordy loved to tease him about his age.
Angel growled at the old comment. “What does age have to do with your Risqué quotient?”
“Well, you know are you willing to try new things?” Cordy continued to tease, this was entertaining.
“Why don’t we both take the quiz and see which of us is wilder?” Angel asked, challenging his secretary.
“Okay fine, here we go, and lets see which of us is truly wild.” Cordy said clicking the start button to the quiz. “I’ll just set up two windows so we can get our results at the same time.” Cordy moved her mouse quickly through the computer screens, amazing Angel with her navigation skills on the electronic box.
“First question, now answer honestly or the results will be skewed. Question 1. What’s the biggest complaint you get from guys in bed?” Cordelia started.
“I have never had a guy in my bed.” Angel said, a little taken a back by the first question.
“Well duh. Just insert girl for guy when we are doing this quiz, remember it is a woman’s magazine.” Cordy said looking up at Angel being uncomfortable about the first question; wait till they get to the really racy questions.
“Okay, now what is your answer?
A. You’re hard to read: Sometimes you want it wild, other times cuddly
B. You need to loosen up
C. They can’t keep up with you — it’s like the Nympholympics”
Cordy said, reading from the screen, and windowing over to click her answer on the other quiz she had got going so that she could gage both herself and Angel at the same time.
“Ah well that is an easy one, C.” Angel said, puffing out his chest a little.
“Pfft, yeah, last I remember Mister, you get groiny equals you get evil, I think that B is probably more your speed.” Cordelia clicked on the letter B and the screen switched to the next question.
“Hey that wasn’t my answer. Do that backup thing you can do.” Angel pouted.
“Too late, next question:
2. Have you ever brought toys into the bedroom?
A. You’ll occasionally test-drive yummy props
B. Just stuffed animals and video games
C. You have so many buzzy, fuzzy gadgets, your nightstand looks like it could be called Sex Toys “R” Us”
“Where would you classify ropes and hand-cuffs?” Angel asked, hearing Cordy’s heart speed up at his question.
“Ewww, really Angel.” Cordy asked, the images going through her head were a little scary.
“Hey evil demon for over a hundred years, plus Vampire.” Angel smirked.
“Fine, I will let you go with C, even though they don’t list …those types of toys.” Cordy said, clicking the answer on the computer and then windowed over to her quiz and quickly clicked her answer – B. Angel had her on that particular question.
“3. You crave sex as often as:
A. Dessert. Sometimes you’re dying for it; other times you’re not in the mood
B. The guy you’re with wants it; otherwise, you don’t really think about it
C. Kelly Osbourne says the F word. “
“Who is Kelly Osbourne, no wait you don’t mean Ozzy’s little girl?” Angel asked
“Yes, and we are going to go with C again, you’re a guy, that has to be your answer.” Cordy clicked C and then moved to the next question.
“Question 4. If your guy suggested a threesome with you and another chick, what would you tell him?
A. Bring it on! A little experimentation could make your sex life hotter
B. You’re not down for a triple-header but suggest watching a racy flick instead
C. Forget it. The closest thing he’s gonna get to a threesome is him, his remote and a Girls Gone Wild DVD “
“Ah, now that is an easy one, I only want one girl, be able to focus my full attention. I think B is the right answer.” Angel said, looking down at Cordy, noticing the nice blush on her face at his answer.
“Hey me too, what a coincidence!” Cordy clicked B on both Angel’s quiz and her own and then popped to the next question. Gonna ignore the thought of Angel’s full attention while making love, naughty images flooding the brain. Cordy thought.
“Okay we are at the past halfway point, question 5,
Imagine your lingerie drawer is open. You see:
A. Some pretty bras, bikinis and camisoles
B. Wide-cut briefs and plain cotton bras
C. Dental-floss-thin thongs, colored push-up bras and a few garter belts”
“Now I have been giving my answers first Cordy and then you secretly put in your answers, I want to hear your answer to this one first.” Angel said, folding his arms akimbo over his chest. He really wanted to hear the answer to this one.
“Okay, fine, that one is easy A for me.” Cordy windowed to her quiz and clicked the radio button for choice A, and then windowed back to Angel’s quiz. “And your response?” She looked up at him, standing over her. She breathed in his scent, strong and masculine. Angel smell was good. Eww what am I thinking.
“Ah now back in the day, girls wore corsets that were a challenge to remove, but I was always very fast.” Angel said proudly
“Hmmm…Angel fast…” Cordy started to tease him.
“No, not fast in that regard, fast in getting a lass out of her corset.” Angel said, feeling that his sexual prowess was on the verge of being permanently damaged.
“A, B, or C Angel?” Cordy asked moving the mouse cursor up and down over the choices.
“Have to go with C, love a girl with garter belts.” Angel said, breathing in the smell of Cordy, moving closer to her, entering her personal bubble.
Cordy clicked Angel’s answer and then the next question popped up, She coughed a little and hesitated before starting to read the question. Be brave girl.
“6. Where’s the wildest place you would have sex?
A. Somewhere semiprivate but naughty, like a bathroom at a party or a movie theater.
B. The couch. (Hey, there’s danger involved! Cushions could go flying!)
C. It’s a tossup: an airplane, a tree, your boss’s desk, the supermarket … “
Cordy got out the final words of the question and then knocked over the jar of pens on the side of the desk. Angel instantly moved to pick up the turned over cup, moving out of the line of sight of the computer. Cordy quickly clicked her answer – B, and windowed back to Angel’s quiz.
“A, B, or C Big Guy?” Cordy asked casually, hoping Angel wouldn’t ask her what her answer was.
Angel put the last of the pencils back in the cup and pushed it further back on the desk, rubbing against Cordy’s bare arm by accident. He felt her shutter and wondered what her answer was to this particular question. Wonder how much experience she really haS in the sex department.
“You first Cordelia.” Angel said, looking at her eyes, waiting for her answer.
“I already clicked it, and your answer?” Cordy asked, avoiding his question.
“Okay, then C for me.” Angel said liking her nervous reaction to him, his demon especially liked it.
“C it is, lets see just two more questions.” Cordy said, thank god only two more questions.
“7. How often are you game to try different sex positions?
A. Nightly! You love switching it up!
B. Rarely. You prefer the tried-and-true.
C. Sometimes, but you’d love to more. “
Cordy was not sure she was ready for Angel’s answer.
Angel chuckled, “That is a tough one, it has been a while, lets go with C to again.”
“Hey, me too,” Cordy said, and then wished she could pull the words back into her mouth.
“Well we are up to the last question, wild boy, are you ready?” Cordy asked. Looking up at Angel, and seeing the way he was watching her, there was a look in his eyes that she was not sure how to read. Maybe taking a Cosmo quiz with her boss wasn’t the best thing to be doing. Not when he was so close and smelled so good. Cordy moved her mouse and clicked so the final question would appear.
Cordy read the question on the computer screen and found that the words were caught in her throat, and read the question over again. Not sure how she was going to answer this one herself at the moment.
10. Your new, single boss looks like Colin Farrell, and he’s every bit as horny. When he asks you out for a drink after work, you:
A. Go, but don’t let your flirting extend past one glass of vino. It could get awkward
B. Tell him you can’t. After all, office policy says no hanky-panky
C. Tell him yes, yes, yes! Better pack a toothbrush — maybe you won’t come home tonight!
Angel read the question over he shoulder and noticed her heart was beating faster. He wondered how she would answer this particular question. He had been keeping track in his head her answers, and the best he could tell his Cordy was not overly risqué, at least not Cosmo girl risqué. He decided then and there to read the question himself out loud,
“Question 10, Cordelia your boss asks you to go out for a drink after work, you:
A. Go, but keep it to a single amaretto sour, cause remember what happened the last time you had more than one.
B. Go, even though there is no office policy about hanky-panky, cause you enjoy spending time with your very handsome boss.
C. Tell him yes, yes, yes! And don’t worry about a toothbrush – I have an extra one at my place. “
Angel was looking at her as he asked his own question, watching eyes for an answer and then noticing that she was starting to move the mouse on the computer screen. He turned his head and looked at the computer screen. Cordy had moved the mouse until the pointer rested on C.
Angel reached down and put his hand over hers on the mouse and clicked the right side of the mouse. The computer churned and the screen changed to a message saying Calculating Risqué Factor.
The following message popped up on the screen:
Well you are a bit of a demure Cosmo Girl, but that is okay, go on – exercise your wild side.
Cordy looked up and Angel and smiled, one of her 1000 watt smiles that she knew was deadly to all men. Maybe it was not the best idea in the world to start something with her boss. But Cosmo was right, she did need some exercise.
Angel caught her smile, and decided he would show a little of his own wildness. He bent his head down and captured her lips in a tender kiss. He pulled away and said, “Lets put your wild side to a work out, shall we.”