Of Stupid Mistakes and Muttering the Phrase I Love You

SUMMARY: It all feels so wrong to Cordelia when she’s at the airport with Groo. There’s only one thing to do to make it all right again.
POSTED: 7 Sep 2007
CATEGORY: Drama / Post-Episode: ‘Couplet’
CONTENT/PAIRING: C/A – Set AtS S3, the aftermath of Couplet
AUTHOR NOTES: This is a simple fix-it, fluffy thing. Because I felt like it. Originally it was written in past tense but when typing it I personally found it worked better with present tense. So, that’s what is is now; hope I didn’t miss anything (spelling errors and stuff).

She stands at the airport watching the people around her. It almost seems as if she isn’t part of this world, doesn’t belong here. Families and friends are leaving together or saying goodbye to loved ones. Each and every one of them has someone caring and loving them.

She does as well.

Which leaves the question why she went away like a cat in heat without so much as a backward glance at her surrogate family. Why did she do such a stupid thing?

Her flight is called, the man beside her all too keen to get going. He said he loved her and it must be true since he left his dimension for her. Or so he said. And yet – now here – she just can’t seem to care about him. It all feels so wrong; he feels wrong. So, she doesn’t make a single move to leave.

“Princess, we have to go.”

His voice is sounding annoying in her ears, too pushy. It doesn’t carry the softness and gentleness she is used to. From another man, the one she left back at home.

Something is obviously holding her back. Or maybe it’s the thought of someone; someone who means more to her than she has, so far, allowed herself to admit. Deep down she knows the true feelings of her heart.

Now that she’s standing at the airport with its hustle and bustle, she feels like someone has torn a hole into her. One to be mended by one person, the only that can. Not the one she is apparently leaving the country with.

“It’s time, the speakers say,” the voice beside her reminds her again. It isn’t him and it never would be.

For the first time since she arrived, she looks up finding the face of her male companion. She can’t help the thoughts that bubble to the surface: Eyes that don’t have this warm shade of brown she gets lost in more often than not. The jawline, all wrong in itself, with the slight stubble isn’t curved the way it should be and doesn’t make her want to caress it. Lips are missing the sensuous curve she has dreamed of kissing countless times. It is all so very wrong.

Despite what her heart and even her conscious is telling her, she starts to follow the man waiting patiently for her. One step after the other away from the known and loved, and suddenly it all seems so easy. She only needs to repress any and all thoughts of a certain souled vampire. Dead easy, really.

Not everyone apparently agrees with her. Someone up there, definitely not those Powers That Be, obviously wants to do her a favour and come to the right decision.

Out of the corner of her eyes she catches sight of a couple. The man – tall and all handsome with dark hair – is holding the brown-haired woman in a tender embrace. They whisper sweet things, smiling all the time. Even to her brain, jumbled with thoughts, the resemblance to Angel and her is undeniable.

Dreams fade into reality, and that’s all it takes.

She loves brown eyes not blue. She desires the powerfulness and sensuality of one vampire, and even all the baggage that comes with him. She needs love that blossomed out of friendship, not some stranger from another dimension. She is a queen and not a princess.

She doesn’t want Groo but Angel – and Cordelia Chase always gets what her heart yearns for. And so, a decision is made.

“Look, Groo, it’s been nice and all but this isn’t right. I shouldn’t be here with you but at the hotel, where I’m needed. Groo, I have to go, “ she blurts out already turning toward the exit.

Like a puppy he follows her obediently but she stops him holding up a hand the moment she takes notice of it. “I need to go, Groo. Without you. My place is not with you.”

With that being said she turns around once more, running like wildfire, away and out of the building. Never looking back, never thinking about the man in there. She doesn’t waste a conscious thought about her actions; there is only one place on earth where she has to go. Longs to be. Home, wherever Angel is.

Minutes later she finds herself in a cab in the middle of LA’s evening traffic.

Her brain has obviously decided to take off for the night as she can’t for the life her recall how she ended up in the car. Not that it really matters much, only her destination does. It is a good thing actually; otherwise she might start thinking and that would only lead to badness – like her taking the coward’s way out and not go through with it all.

It doesn’t take long until she finally stands once more in front of the big former hotel. For the first time, though, she’s hesitating. So much depends on the result of this big leap she is taking here. She’s afraid like she’s never been before.

Slowly she steps forward, breathing in deeply a final time and then opens the door.

Strangely, the lobby is almost dark, no soul to be seen. She just shrugs. This is something that has to be taken care of only after more pressing matters. The eerie silence is scaring her a little, wrapping around her and making her shiver.

The next deep breath follows, bringing more courage into her body.

Carefully she climbs up the staircase never looking back, only forward. It’s a short path she’s taken countless times before but right now it feels as if it’s going on for miles and miles. Her feet, though, keep moving forward bravely providing what her heart and soul are unable to.

And then, endless minutes later, she’s finally there. She doesn’t know what she is going to find behind door 317 but she desperately needs to find out. Now or never.

She doesn’t bother knocking, never has, in fact. After pressing down the handle and opening the door she is met once again by darkness and stillness. Here, though, it has a comforting touch.

Her heart is beating as if she has just run a marathon, almost jumping out of her heaving chest. She’s still shivering but from what – fear, anxiety or anticipation – she doesn’t know. The weakness of her knees is nearly bringing her to the ground but as steadily as possible she keeps on walking.

The sight that greets her in the bedroom is her undoing. Rarely has she seen anything more heart-warming. The vampire is slumbering on his bed cradling his tiny son, lying on his chest, gently in his arms. Peace and quiet is palpable in the room that is harbouring the man she loves and the child she dares to consider her own.

“Angel”. The soft gasp escapes her lips before she can hold it back choking her with overflowing emotion.

All she wants to do is lie down beside, content to be where she longs to and belongs to be. She knows, however, that she needs to tell him how she feels first, get it all out in the open. Now or never.

He stirs then, seemingly sensing her presence in the room even though she stands completely still mesmerized by him.

Slowly his eyes open, the grip he has on his baby tightening immediately. Then, he blinks, pushing sleep away and making sure it’s really her he’s seeing. She’s simply waiting and keeps on staring as if he was the most fascinating being she’s ever seen. Waking up to such a sight every morning, it might be within the bounds of possibility.

“Angel,” she whispers not giving him a chance to ask what she was doing here. “Angel, I love you.”

He looks even more confused now, obviously not yet able to fully grasp the meaning of her words in the drowsy state he is in. “What?” he mumbles with a voice still raspy from sleep.

No way would she repeat her confession within the next seconds.

It slipped out so easily this first time but now the whole surreality of the situation catches up with her ,weighing her down heavily. She can’t believe she’s gone out and simple said those three words that could crash worlds. Why didn’t she think this through? Not that this was her way to tackle things – blunt and spontaneous was more her style – but this was different, totally different.

“Cordy?” his voice interrupts her frantic train of thought quite thoroughly. By now he’s switched on the bedside lamp, without her ever noticing.

When she finally looks up, her eyes meet his, and as so often she feels like she’s getting totallly lost in the deepness of the brown warmth. Probably for the first time in her life she is rendered speechless, unable to get even the most simple of words past her lips.

“Why are you here. You should be away with―”

“Don’t, Angel. I was there at the airport feeling totally out of place and I got thinking. It was as if a part of me was missing. I didn’t know when or what it was but all of a sudden there was all this clarity. I knew. Seriously, this is all your fault. If I hadn’t met you at that party worming your way into my heart, I wouldn’t be here now, enamoured of a vampire with a fricking curse. It’s all―”

He stops her rambling at this point because he’s heard enough. Not with words because he knows about the futility of those, but with action. An action that would hopefully bring his own feelings across very clearly, and shut her up for quite some time.

What he didn’t count on is his own reaction to it.

The moment his lips taste the sweet softness of her, he is a goner. It isn’t an overly tender kiss nor a simply brush; it’s a hard fusion of mouths in a desperate attempt to make her see the truth.

Before it has the chance to really begin to evolve, it’s over. He doesn’t even have to the chance to savour her taste when she all of a sudden pushes him away. “Where’s Connor and where the hell do you get off kissing me like that?”

She was furious and Angel has never seen anything more sexy.

In her rage she misses the smirk fleeting over his face. That one moment it takes her to blink, he ‘s moved her across the room and pinned down on his bed. The bed that smells like him all over.

“Connor is in his crib and I get off on you,” he tells her smoothly, dorkiness nowhere to be found.

This time she does catch the smirk that adorns his lips but is rendered speechless for a second time within minutes. She is not afraid, anything but.

Gaping at him, she still tries to fight and wriggle her way out from under him, pushing at his chest with both hands at the same time. She’s only taking things to the next level.

He’s openly leering at her now, then putting more of his delicious weight on her and letting her feel just how much she is affecting him. Another gasp leaves her mouth.

This does so not going according to the plan. A plan that has never really existed but still. She wanted to come in, make her confession, with hopefully a reciprocation, sweep a little kiss and leave again. She did not want to be smothered and played like that. Not that she really minds because she is feeling all kinds of good with him on top of her.

So, she decides to take a leaf out of his book and lets action speak for once. Her hands that still linger on his shirt grab a fistful of the silky material and pull him down to her.

When the next wave of passion hits, they’re both past any invisible line that ever has been drawn between them. Together they drown, happily. It would be fighting a lost battle anyway and they both come out as winners in this.

Much, much later when she has to come up for air, her hopes are finally fulfilled. It’s more a whisper across the skin of her neck but she hears it loud and clearly, “Cordy, I love you, too.”

This isn’t what shocks her, turns her into liquid heat. It’s the words that follow.

“About the curse…”




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