SUMMARY: Angel is desperate after learning that Cordy seems to be happy where she is and gets out of the city. AtS S4 post ‘Ground State’.
POSTED: 24 Jan 2006
FICPIC CREDIT: None
1) Well, I know I’m not the best writer but I also know I’ve developed since I first started it. What I don’t want to do is blaming it on the fact that English isn’t my mother tongue;
I’ve studied that language after all. Still, all comments are appreciated, also criticism – it does help to improve writing further…
He just wanted to get out of the city for one night. His City of Angels – not anymore, because his personal angel was gone.
Some people would say she was up there in heaven. A vampire didn’t believe in stuff like that and the man in him was never one for religious things. Then again, the Axis of Pythia had confirmed exactly this. Wherever she was, it must be a place religious people thought of as heaven.
She had seemed so happy and content. However, he could only feel her and not see her with his own eyes. So there was still some doubt left inside him; doubt that it had been a figment of his imagination. Nevertheless, it was somewhere she deserved to be in his opinion – a peaceful place with no worries, demons, fights, sorrow and all those other things that made living so hard.
Finally he arrived at his destination. It had actually been Cordy who had told him about it. This was definitely a place he liked – no more city full of life and un-life, no more traffic, no more bright lights and noise hurting his sensitive senses. All he could hear was the rustling of the wind in the trees around him; all he could smell was nature, not exhaust fumes and other city stenches.
Here he could see the stars again and was able to look for constellations like he had done so often back home in Ireland. Strange, he still thought of the country as home; he hadn’t been there for decades. But there was something about Ireland…
Almost immediately he discovered Orion; those three striking stars just couldn’t be overlooked. Of course he knew about the story behind it as Greek mythology had always held a special place in his heart. Looking closer he spotted Gemini, the Charioteer and Cassiopeia. It had been years since he had last done this, just sitting back and looking at the night sky unrestricted.
He had learned about Cordy’s secret little location when he was living with her at her apartment for a few weeks. She had had a vision in the middle of the night. After he had returned from fighting two particularly vicious demons she had still sat on the couch – in exactly the same spot as when he had left. His worry had increased tenfold at the least and he couldn’t care less about his own partly severe injuries.
“I’m fine, broody boy,” she had told him before he could even get a word out. It was accompanied by a dismissing gesture of her hand to make it clear to him that he should leave it at that.
“Besides, you look like you need my Florence Nightingale skills,” Cordy had then said getting up to check his wounds. And while she had taken care of him, they had started to talk, for hours.
Angel couldn’t remember that he had ever enjoyed a conversation that much. The topic wasn’t important at all, the company was.
In the wee hours of the morning she had had told him about a place she went to when she needed to get away from everything for thinking. A clearing just outside the city, most beautiful at night. My quiet little place in the nature, Cordy had called it.
Hardly awake anymore, the wonderful woman had said that she had found another one of those special places. “Right here,” she had mumbled so low that even his vampire hearing hadn’t been of much use. He had been sprawled out on one corner of the couch with Cordy snuggled up close to him. Her head was on his chest and her right arm around his waist. She had seemed quite content where she was, just like him. A horde of demons couldn’t have dragged him away in that moment.
She had never mentioned when and how she had discovered this exceptional spot. A short time later her eyes had closed of their own accord, her breathing and heartbeat had slowed down and she was sleeping. Angel himself was as calm and content as he hadn’t been in ages, and fell asleep right along with her.
Now she was gone and probably never coming back. He would never know. There were so many things he didn’t know about the lovely woman. Regret and guilt were gnawing hard at his heart and soul – again.
Angel turned his eyes away from the lights of the city below him and back up at the sky. Tonight was special in more ways than one; it was the time of the Geminides.
Just a moment later he spotted his first falling star of the meteor stream. He couldn’t think of a wish right then. So he said what was on his mind, “I miss you, Cordy.”
And then it began. As if someone had opened a bag and poured everything out at once – one falling star after the other. Angel was amazed at this spectacle of nature. It was such a beautiful display as dozens of white lights rushed over the night’s sky illuminating it for just a second or two. He should wish, again and again. Weren’t those to become true? Then again he had done that as a boy and not one of his wishes had ever been fulfilled.
The call of an owl disturbed the utter silence around him. And a second time. A slight uneasiness crept up inside him and made him look around, all senses on full alert. Nothing. Breathing in the fresh night air although he didn’t really need it, Angel looked back up. Right in time to see one especially big and bright meteor. So he wished. Wished for the woman he loved to come back. It was the only thing his heart really desired. No questions asked.
Something didn’t seem right, though. The white light of the falling star didn’t vanish. In fact, it came closer and closer, getting bigger and bigger every millisecond. This wasn’t good, not at all. Still, Angel didn’t move but sat in his car staring at the sky.
He didn’t have a death wish, didn’t want to stop existing, but he had lost his beacon, the sun that illuminated his own eternal darkness. Doyle, the friend he had lost years ago, had called her his link to humanity. That she was, and so much more. She was the one who made his un-life worth living.
The light was nearly blinding now and hurting his sensitive eyes. Closing them he waited for the inevitable to happen: the meteor would hit the earth, probably somewhere close to him. Angel hoped that it wouldn’t damage his beloved car; it was a classic after all. He never once thought of himself.
Then he could hear it coming closer. Rumpling and roaring noises, he didn’t quite know how to describe it. The light was a dazzling white and he had to squeeze his eyes even tighter together. The meteor was gathering its strength now for that one final culmination; everything seemed to increase at least twenty times.
As suddenly as everything had started, it was over. The only thing Angel could hear was deafening silence. The only thing he could see were the shadowy outlines of the trees around him in the darkness, the lights of the city in the distance and the blinking stars in the sky.
“Angel,” he heard someone say from afar. It wasn’t just any voice; it was hers and that in itself was impossible.
He closed his eyes again. Those figments of his imagination would make him completely crazy one day. So he needed to get rid of them, soon. The problem was that his mind wouldn’t listen. There it was again like a whisper of the wind but closer now.
“Come on, open those peepers and look at me. It’s not like you see such beauty that often,” that persistent voice asked him in a commanding Cordy-tone. The sound was like a caress to mend his broken heart. The way the woman had said it, however, irritated him enough to make him comply.
What he saw then, couldn’t be anything else than his imagination. It had to be. Furiously he rubbed his eyes. His mind was screaming one world only, “CRAZY.” This was not possible, at all.
He looked back up and she was still there – her arms crossed in front of her, her left foot tapping expectantly , her right eyebrow raised dangerously. “Cordy?” he croaked, uncertainty clear in his voice. “Of course it’s me. Whom did you expect? Besides, I haven’t told anyone else about this place, dumbass.”
“How is that possible?” he finally managed get a complete sentence out, constantly shaking his head. “I’m your seer not Miss Omniscient, so get a grip already. Cordelia Chase is back in the house, very alive and soon kicking your ass, mister.”
Annoyed she stalked to the passenger door to get in the car. On purpose she slammed it shut with a loud bang sure it would get a reaction out of her vampire. She was wrong; he didn’t even twitch.
“Angel, I’m here for real and I expect hugs every second now,” she told him after a while. With him she could even enjoy the silence for some time but there were things that needed to be said and done. He certainly didn’t look as if he would start THE TALK.
“Maybe a little more even,” Cordy added in a whisper, sure he wouldn’t hear it anyway. But he did and acted on it.
With all the tenderness he possessed Angel pulled her into his arms, where she belonged. Once there, he didn’t want to ever let her go again. He felt the gentle movements of her hands on his back meant to calm him and show him this was indeed all reality.
“Cordy,” he sighed with his voice full of so many emotions – happiness, shock, relief, guilt and most of all love.
He buried his face in her hair breathing in deeply. It was his Cordy without a doubt; never would he forget her unique smell, like fresh rain and summer flowers. The vampire looked up when she said his name repeatedly. He felt her breath close to his left ear, a very sensitive spot. A chain reaction through his whole body followed; she didn’t even know what she was doing to him with little things like this.
This time her name came out as a husky moan. Astonished she pulled away from him slightly feeling suddenly very shy about their closeness. Angel looked at her, really looked at her – and fell in love all over gain.
And then she got her more. Angel took her face in his big hands and leant in. At first, it wasn’t much more than a breath of wind across her lips, barely a touch. Then the first real connection and they were both lost, lost in the whirlwind of their passionate feelings. Each sensual caress was followed by another even more intense one. They couldn’t and didn’t want to let go.
Lips still touching they whispered those words they had desired to say out loud for such a long time now, “I love you.” Nothing else was necessary. Those three words were enough to last a lifetime.
“I have no idea why I’m back, Angel. One second I was up there being bored to death and the next I’m down here with you.” Cordelia didn’t understand it herself but didn’t question it either; she was happy and exactly where she wanted to be; Angel’s arm was around her shoulder and her head lay comfortably on his broad chest.
“What you saw with that axis thing wasn’t true. My home is with you and the others – my family. You should know that.”
When she didn’t receive more than a nod, she continued to say what she wanted him to know, “I did find out one thing, though. This Skip guy is definitely not of the PTB variety. I had a vision of you and Connor when he played Scotty and beamed me up. Someone wanted me gone; I know I could have helped you.” Still she got no answer but she knew Angel, he just needed time.
“You’re here to stay?” he finally asked turning his head to look at her lovingly.
How could she say yes? She was determined to stay but she didn’t have a guarantee for him. So she told him exactly this. It hurt her to see him sad and in pain but the truth was better than any mollycoddling.
“But you’re back,” he simply stated because this was what was important. The rest couldn’t be ignored but at least pushed aside for a while.
She brushed her lips tenderly over his before she said, “That I am.”
There was still something left explain; he did want to know. “I always come here to think. When I don’t know how to go on anymore I sit here and realize it’ll be okay again. The first time was right before you save me from that Russell Winters.”
After again just sitting beside him in silence for a while she put her small hand in his bigger one needing to feel that this was in fact reality. Grasping that she was back with her family was causing her extreme difficulties; she just didn’t show it. Still, she suspected he knew.
Angel was again looking at the sky when she squeezed his hand to reassure them both. “I was wishing on a star and it came true,” he admitted then and pressed a tender kiss to her temple.
“Occasionally, if we want something bad enough, it’ll happen.” No answer was needed to her wise statement. So Angel just pulled Cordy closer and together they looked up at the night’s sky. Meteors were falling and they wished. It didn’t hurt and who knew, they might come true…