AUTHOR: FICBITCH82 (aka Christie)
SUMMARY: All she feels is emptiness, and he feels it, too.
POSTED: 11 Sep 2004
WARNINGS: None Listed
AUTHOR NOTES: I don’t even know why I wrote this… Apparently, my muse was feeling much with le angst.
She doesn’t look at him when he turns up.

She can’t. If she looks at him, his face will crumple and she can’t deal with that, not now.

There’s so much space in between them but she can hear their hearts – both of them – breaking.

“I’m sorry.” She says quietly, too quietly.

When he finally takes her in his arms he says he’s sorry too, slips his hand over her stomach.


He feels it too.

When they go home everything’s gone. It’s like it never was and that hurts more than anything.

She doesn’t break down. She’s strong, like always, until she snoops. She never could resist a good snoop, Cordelia, and when she looks in that closet, finds a teddy – one that no one knew Angel kept, not even her – Cordelia breaks.

She doesn’t hear the soft thump of boots hitting the floor behind her. Barely even registers the pair of arms go around her, lifting her from the floor.

Cordelia cries even as her face is buried into his chest, still clutching that teddy, and those cries turn to sobs, broken sobs that make Angel’s heart break all over again.

After a while, her cries seem to dissipate, her breathing even out and Angel knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she’s asleep. He places her on the bed, careful not to wake her, and lies beside her, burying his face in the fall of her hair.

She doesn’t stir. It’s not until Angel’s body is curled around hers and her hair is wet with tears that Cordelia wakes up. He looks at her, almost startled to realise that he didn’t notice her wake, and she places a hand against his cheek, her lower lip trembling.

He looks at her and understands implicitly what it cost her to make that call two days ago.

He knows they’re not the first couple to go through this and they most certainly won’t be the last, knows that they’re not the first to feel this empty.

He says he’s sorry again and Cordelia reaches up, brushing her lips against his.

She doesn’t say they’ll be okay. She’s not even sure they will be, not yet. They might be empty, might be bruised and hurting and vulnerable… But they’re not alone and right now that’s all that matters.



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